Friday, July 30, 2004
Tracking the elusive desmodus lunaris showmestateis
Katie, brave and noble proprietor of the Resplendent Mango, is hot on the trail of the endangered Missouri Moonbat, and brings back the TastyBits.
INDCent Bill, watch out!
Katie, brave and noble proprietor of the Resplendent Mango, is hot on the trail of the endangered Missouri Moonbat, and brings back the TastyBits.
INDCent Bill, watch out!
D'Oh!
This has been bugging me all day---the pic of Kerry saluting last night was ringing a bell, but I couldn't place it.
Jeff Goldstein, who must be on the same combo of meds and paint thinner as yours truly, placed it: compare John Kerry and Benny Hill, separated at birth?
This has been bugging me all day---the pic of Kerry saluting last night was ringing a bell, but I couldn't place it.
Jeff Goldstein, who must be on the same combo of meds and paint thinner as yours truly, placed it: compare John Kerry and Benny Hill, separated at birth?
The Llamabutcher Friday List
Adventure Monkey: Curious George or Zephyr?
Furry sidekick: Chewbacca or Hagrid?
Fighting catcher: Jason Varitek or Carlton Fisk?
Worst "Emma": Gwyneth Paltrow or Alicia Silverstone?
Best sweeper off the feet: Indiana Jones (Raiders version) or Colin Firth's Darcy?
Best Comic Book movie adaptation: Batman 1 or SpiderMan 2?
Worst Michael Bay movie: Pearl Harbor or Bad Boys 2?
Fighting chicks: Eowyn or Xena?
Sorriest excuse of a former Clinton cabinet member: Sandy Berger or Hazel O'Leary?
Most pathetic Dem convention suckupblogging: Skankette or Josh Marshall?
Worst Ben Affleck movie: Daredevil or Gigli?
Best old guy mentor: Obi Wan Kenobi or Professor Dumbledore?
Best villain: Lord Voldemort or Darth Vader?
Thinking man's strumpet: Major Carter on Stargate: SG1 or Agent Scully?
Most likely to next need a spider hole: Bashir Assad or Kim Jong Il?
More annoying human being: Quentin Tarantino or Michael Moore?
Illicit donut break: Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts?
Sushi: "Dude, anything for a California roll" or "Man, you eatin' bait!"
Kurt Russell flicks: Overboard, or Big Trouble in Little China?
Who you want beside you in a bar fight: Ving Rhames, or Vin Diesel?
Dr. Doolittle: Rex Harrison, or Eddie Murphy?
"Friend" most deserving of having a safe dropped on head: Ross or Rachel?
Most frustrated: Wiley Coyote, or Sylvester?
WW2: Patton or MacArthur?
Law & Order detective: Chris Noth or Chris Meloni?
Best Vince Vaughn: Skeezy villain or dirtbag hero?
Secret Tee-vee pleasure: Gay/twin appraiser guys from Antique Roadshow star on "Jackass", or "CSI: Flint" (hey, who killed the fat documentary guy? Who cares!)
and finally, the special Jeopardy answer for which you give us the question: "Al Sharpton, a new twenty dollar bill, and a bag of weasels."
Adventure Monkey: Curious George or Zephyr?
Furry sidekick: Chewbacca or Hagrid?
Fighting catcher: Jason Varitek or Carlton Fisk?
Worst "Emma": Gwyneth Paltrow or Alicia Silverstone?
Best sweeper off the feet: Indiana Jones (Raiders version) or Colin Firth's Darcy?
Best Comic Book movie adaptation: Batman 1 or SpiderMan 2?
Worst Michael Bay movie: Pearl Harbor or Bad Boys 2?
Fighting chicks: Eowyn or Xena?
Sorriest excuse of a former Clinton cabinet member: Sandy Berger or Hazel O'Leary?
Most pathetic Dem convention suckupblogging: Skankette or Josh Marshall?
Worst Ben Affleck movie: Daredevil or Gigli?
Best old guy mentor: Obi Wan Kenobi or Professor Dumbledore?
Best villain: Lord Voldemort or Darth Vader?
Thinking man's strumpet: Major Carter on Stargate: SG1 or Agent Scully?
Most likely to next need a spider hole: Bashir Assad or Kim Jong Il?
More annoying human being: Quentin Tarantino or Michael Moore?
Illicit donut break: Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts?
Sushi: "Dude, anything for a California roll" or "Man, you eatin' bait!"
Kurt Russell flicks: Overboard, or Big Trouble in Little China?
Who you want beside you in a bar fight: Ving Rhames, or Vin Diesel?
Dr. Doolittle: Rex Harrison, or Eddie Murphy?
"Friend" most deserving of having a safe dropped on head: Ross or Rachel?
Most frustrated: Wiley Coyote, or Sylvester?
WW2: Patton or MacArthur?
Law & Order detective: Chris Noth or Chris Meloni?
Best Vince Vaughn: Skeezy villain or dirtbag hero?
Secret Tee-vee pleasure: Gay/twin appraiser guys from Antique Roadshow star on "Jackass", or "CSI: Flint" (hey, who killed the fat documentary guy? Who cares!)
and finally, the special Jeopardy answer for which you give us the question: "Al Sharpton, a new twenty dollar bill, and a bag of weasels."
Who Says You Can't Mix Tolkien And Politics?
I defended this country as a young man and I will defend it as President. Let there be no mistake: I will never hesitate to use force when it is required. Any attack will be met with a swift and certain response.
-John Forbes Kerry
Dateline Minas Tirith:In a surprising pre-dawn action, Gandalf the Grey was forcibly ejected from the City by members of the Guard of the Citadel acting on orders from Denethor, Steward of the Realm. According to sources close to the White Tower, Gandalf was placed on his horse, Shadowfax, hog-tied and facing backwards, and was told not to stop riding until he had crossed the borders of Gondor. Any return to the Realm by the Wizard and sometime advisor to the Steward would be met with instant law-enforcement action.
In a prepared statement, Denethor had the following to say:
I have ordered the banishment of Gandalf for what I consider to be the good of the people of the City of Minas Tirith and of Gondor. For too long Gandalf has vigorously advocated a policy of challenging Sauron far afield, to the north of Mirkwood, to the east of Anduin, to the south in Harad and before the Black Gate itself. I consider this policy to be rash and dangerous.
In the first place, such action will almost certainly alienate us not only from the Corsairs of Umbar, but more importantly, from Saruman of Isengard, whose continued good will is critical to the international harmony of Middle Earth. In such event, we would be left with no allies but the Rohirrim, already distrusted as ignorant, unsophisticated and overly belligerent,and hardly representative of world opinion. This is unacceptable to an administration such as mine that believes no war can be undertaken without intense consultation and the full consent of the greatest number of allies possible.
In the second place, this kind of international adventurism would dangerously stretch our already depleted forces, requiring us to weaken our watch on the Druidan Forest and depleting our guard on the castle of Dol Amroth, the ruins of Osgiliath and other important locations. While I fully recognize the threat posed by Sauron's forces, I refuse to accept any policy to meet that threat which strips away our potential to face others, however remote.
Thus, rather than pursuing Gandalf's reckless,nay expansionist policy of challenging Sauron in his own realm of Mordor, which can never hope to be reformed anyway, I instead reaffirm my belief that the best way to fight Sauron's hoards is to strengthen the defenses of this city. We will build up the walls. We will add new towers. We will strengthen the watch at the gates and repair the Circuit of the Ramas. We will ensure that Farimir's Ithilian Company provides us the best possible intelligence of the Enemy's next move against us. Forearmed with this knowledge, we will be able to make this city invincible, however long Sauron's army lays siege to it. We will not attack Sauron. But once he attacks us, we will defend this City of Minas Tirith to the last stone.
When reached for comment, Saruman the White is reported to have said, "Nuanced. Very nuanced. And sophisticated."
Gandalf is rumored to have taken refuge with Galadriel and Celeborn in the Forest of Lothlorien.
I defended this country as a young man and I will defend it as President. Let there be no mistake: I will never hesitate to use force when it is required. Any attack will be met with a swift and certain response.
-John Forbes Kerry
Dateline Minas Tirith:In a surprising pre-dawn action, Gandalf the Grey was forcibly ejected from the City by members of the Guard of the Citadel acting on orders from Denethor, Steward of the Realm. According to sources close to the White Tower, Gandalf was placed on his horse, Shadowfax, hog-tied and facing backwards, and was told not to stop riding until he had crossed the borders of Gondor. Any return to the Realm by the Wizard and sometime advisor to the Steward would be met with instant law-enforcement action.
In a prepared statement, Denethor had the following to say:
I have ordered the banishment of Gandalf for what I consider to be the good of the people of the City of Minas Tirith and of Gondor. For too long Gandalf has vigorously advocated a policy of challenging Sauron far afield, to the north of Mirkwood, to the east of Anduin, to the south in Harad and before the Black Gate itself. I consider this policy to be rash and dangerous.
In the first place, such action will almost certainly alienate us not only from the Corsairs of Umbar, but more importantly, from Saruman of Isengard, whose continued good will is critical to the international harmony of Middle Earth. In such event, we would be left with no allies but the Rohirrim, already distrusted as ignorant, unsophisticated and overly belligerent,and hardly representative of world opinion. This is unacceptable to an administration such as mine that believes no war can be undertaken without intense consultation and the full consent of the greatest number of allies possible.
In the second place, this kind of international adventurism would dangerously stretch our already depleted forces, requiring us to weaken our watch on the Druidan Forest and depleting our guard on the castle of Dol Amroth, the ruins of Osgiliath and other important locations. While I fully recognize the threat posed by Sauron's forces, I refuse to accept any policy to meet that threat which strips away our potential to face others, however remote.
Thus, rather than pursuing Gandalf's reckless,nay expansionist policy of challenging Sauron in his own realm of Mordor, which can never hope to be reformed anyway, I instead reaffirm my belief that the best way to fight Sauron's hoards is to strengthen the defenses of this city. We will build up the walls. We will add new towers. We will strengthen the watch at the gates and repair the Circuit of the Ramas. We will ensure that Farimir's Ithilian Company provides us the best possible intelligence of the Enemy's next move against us. Forearmed with this knowledge, we will be able to make this city invincible, however long Sauron's army lays siege to it. We will not attack Sauron. But once he attacks us, we will defend this City of Minas Tirith to the last stone.
When reached for comment, Saruman the White is reported to have said, "Nuanced. Very nuanced. And sophisticated."
Gandalf is rumored to have taken refuge with Galadriel and Celeborn in the Forest of Lothlorien.
Pshop talent busting out all over the place
The Cranky Neocon has John Edwards serving a subpoena on Osama's cave.
The Cranky Neocon has John Edwards serving a subpoena on Osama's cave.
Texas Best Grok discovers the joy that is Pshop
John Kerry as Mary Poppins.
Trust me, the waltzing penguins seal the deal!
John Kerry as Mary Poppins.
Trust me, the waltzing penguins seal the deal!
Not just full of hate, but with extra mongering to boot!
Only the crack young staff at the HMQ is willing to take on the greatest threat ever to face the vitality of the republic: I am of course speaking of the smiley emoticon pandemic.
Something. Must. Be. Done.
I suggest sending the USS Reagan for a full tactical strike against Redmond.
Only the crack young staff at the HMQ is willing to take on the greatest threat ever to face the vitality of the republic: I am of course speaking of the smiley emoticon pandemic.
Something. Must. Be. Done.
I suggest sending the USS Reagan for a full tactical strike against Redmond.
DOH!
For one brief, shining moment there, I thought Sully was going to sober up. No such luck. FMA! FMA! George Torquemada Bush is gunning fer ya!
Here's the thing, Andrew: When you're dead, the question of who you choose to boink becomes rather moot.
For one brief, shining moment there, I thought Sully was going to sober up. No such luck. FMA! FMA! George Torquemada Bush is gunning fer ya!
Here's the thing, Andrew: When you're dead, the question of who you choose to boink becomes rather moot.
The Speech
I haven't ready anybody else's reaction to J. Francois's Public Rollout last night yet because I wanted to get my reactions down first:
- While I'm not absolutely, positively, sure of it, I rather get the impression that Kerry might have, well, just possibly served in Vietnam. Just a hunch. Quere for the Llama Military Correspondent: Does JFK v. 2.0 really think this kind of hokum is going to go over well with the folks serving now?
- Seriously tho', during that Love-Fest of an introduction, for a minute there I thought Kerry was going to pull an Al Gore and start slipping the tongue to those ex-Navy and Marine guys. And as far as Max Cleland goes, I'm sure he would have reciprocated a lot more passionately than, say, Theya-RAY-suh. What a kook.
- Kerry's little "reporting for duty" bit immediately sparked two things in my brain. One was, "Oh, he's gonna play the McClellan Gambit." (Someone should point out to Kerry's folks that McClellan lost.) The other was, "Well it's about bloody time - you've been AWOL for thirty years." Seriously - wasn't it strange how whenever Kerry's biography was being plugged there was almost a solid blackout of events between 1974 and 2004? There's a good reason for that and if the Republicans have any sense they'll shine as much light on that period as possible.
- I thought it the height of gall to flat out call Dubya a liar at one point and then cry out for more post 9/11 unity at another.
- I thought it downright bizarre to paint such a gloomy picture of life in America in 2004 and then turn around and insist that he (Kerry) was an optimist.
- I love Kerry's nuanced foreign policy approach. From what I gather, just to be safe, he's going to wait until Chicago gets nuked before taking any decisive action against the bad guys. Also, if I were a Brit or an Aussie or a Pole or an Italian or one of many other different nationalities, I'd be cheesed as hell every time Kerry claims the United States is acting like a unilateralist cowboy. Exactly how is Kerry going to explain himself to Blair et al. if he does get elected? Or has he simply calculated that these countries have no choice but to follow our lead any way, so he can diss them while he's kissing French butt. But hey - what do I know about nuanced international relations?
- As for the domestic stuff, it struck me as the usual Dem pablum. Vote for us and we'll get you all jobs while destroying all those eviiiil corporations that produce them. And we'll tax the Rich! AND we'll cure AIDS!
- I was watching the crowd pretty intently. The only times they perked up was when Kerry started throwing them the more putrid kind of anti-Dubya meat. When he talked about himself, they went quite flat. At the end, Edwards got a bigger hand coming on stage than Kerry had got.
- As for person-in-the-street reaction: The Missus dozed off about half-way through. She's more terrified of the idea of Hillary in '08 than Kerry now. I also talked to my secretary this morning. She is very middle of the road and not much interested in politics, but she said that after last night Kerry lost her. "All Dubya has to do is sit down and watch Kerry fall," was her summation.
Take it for what you will.
UPDATE: The local moonbats are discussing and dissecting right now. "Adequate" appears to be the keyword. Oh, and they're lamenting the power of Republican spin-doctors. I smell uncertainty.
Meanwhile, James Joyner has a big blogsphere round up. From what I've seen so far, my take was far from unique.
And yes, I noticed the balloon screw-up too.
I haven't ready anybody else's reaction to J. Francois's Public Rollout last night yet because I wanted to get my reactions down first:
- While I'm not absolutely, positively, sure of it, I rather get the impression that Kerry might have, well, just possibly served in Vietnam. Just a hunch. Quere for the Llama Military Correspondent: Does JFK v. 2.0 really think this kind of hokum is going to go over well with the folks serving now?
- Seriously tho', during that Love-Fest of an introduction, for a minute there I thought Kerry was going to pull an Al Gore and start slipping the tongue to those ex-Navy and Marine guys. And as far as Max Cleland goes, I'm sure he would have reciprocated a lot more passionately than, say, Theya-RAY-suh. What a kook.
- Kerry's little "reporting for duty" bit immediately sparked two things in my brain. One was, "Oh, he's gonna play the McClellan Gambit." (Someone should point out to Kerry's folks that McClellan lost.) The other was, "Well it's about bloody time - you've been AWOL for thirty years." Seriously - wasn't it strange how whenever Kerry's biography was being plugged there was almost a solid blackout of events between 1974 and 2004? There's a good reason for that and if the Republicans have any sense they'll shine as much light on that period as possible.
- I thought it the height of gall to flat out call Dubya a liar at one point and then cry out for more post 9/11 unity at another.
- I thought it downright bizarre to paint such a gloomy picture of life in America in 2004 and then turn around and insist that he (Kerry) was an optimist.
- I love Kerry's nuanced foreign policy approach. From what I gather, just to be safe, he's going to wait until Chicago gets nuked before taking any decisive action against the bad guys. Also, if I were a Brit or an Aussie or a Pole or an Italian or one of many other different nationalities, I'd be cheesed as hell every time Kerry claims the United States is acting like a unilateralist cowboy. Exactly how is Kerry going to explain himself to Blair et al. if he does get elected? Or has he simply calculated that these countries have no choice but to follow our lead any way, so he can diss them while he's kissing French butt. But hey - what do I know about nuanced international relations?
- As for the domestic stuff, it struck me as the usual Dem pablum. Vote for us and we'll get you all jobs while destroying all those eviiiil corporations that produce them. And we'll tax the Rich! AND we'll cure AIDS!
- I was watching the crowd pretty intently. The only times they perked up was when Kerry started throwing them the more putrid kind of anti-Dubya meat. When he talked about himself, they went quite flat. At the end, Edwards got a bigger hand coming on stage than Kerry had got.
- As for person-in-the-street reaction: The Missus dozed off about half-way through. She's more terrified of the idea of Hillary in '08 than Kerry now. I also talked to my secretary this morning. She is very middle of the road and not much interested in politics, but she said that after last night Kerry lost her. "All Dubya has to do is sit down and watch Kerry fall," was her summation.
Take it for what you will.
UPDATE: The local moonbats are discussing and dissecting right now. "Adequate" appears to be the keyword. Oh, and they're lamenting the power of Republican spin-doctors. I smell uncertainty.
Meanwhile, James Joyner has a big blogsphere round up. From what I've seen so far, my take was far from unique.
And yes, I noticed the balloon screw-up too.
Someone is REALLY disappointed
A viewer just came to visit after searching for:
guns nude blondestar
I mean, I appreciate the initiative, you're sitting there, eating your cheerios, thinking, "dude, what would go over really well at the moment is some second amendment porn."
That's the Llamabutchers for you: your internet home for second amendment porn and Dolly Madison nudie pics!
A viewer just came to visit after searching for:
guns nude blondestar
I mean, I appreciate the initiative, you're sitting there, eating your cheerios, thinking, "dude, what would go over really well at the moment is some second amendment porn."
That's the Llamabutchers for you: your internet home for second amendment porn and Dolly Madison nudie pics!
What I learned at the DNC, Day 4
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Absolutely Required Reading
A 9/11 Liberal speaks his mind. Go and read it right now. This man gets it.
Yips! to Glenn.
A 9/11 Liberal speaks his mind. Go and read it right now. This man gets it.
Yips! to Glenn.
More On Ricky Williams
Mark Hasty tells us Dolphin fans to get over it, that the guy is entitled to do what he wants.
No doubt. But to me, the chief monstrosity of this is the timing - right before camp and long after the Dolphins can do anything in the draft to try and compensate.
This resonates with me for a very particular reason.
As I have mentioned a few times before, I rowed crew in college. Now I never was really big enough to do so, even in the lightweight (under 160 pounds) category. (I am just under 5'11'' and in school my racing weight was about 150 pounds). I was able to stay in the program because I went to a very small Division III school that didn't have a lot of depth in its talent pool. Nonetheless, I worked very, very hard to stay in the boats. And loved it.
My senior year, I was up against another oarsman (we'll call him Ted) for the last spot in the third eight. We were about even in seat races during spring training, and were alternated in the seat during the first few races of the year. Finally, however, the coach decided to go with Ted, leaving me as the spare.
I spent most of the rest of the season working out on the ergs and trying to keep my enthusiasm up, because I knew for the final two races, at the New Englands and the Dad Vails, the school would only be taking two eights. The third eight was a mixed-weight boat and, with both me and Ted rowing, it would be possible to break it down into a lightweight four and a heavyweight four. I knew the coach was thinking this way too, so I stuck with it, despite the fact that I was often alone.
Finally, the week before the New Englands, the coach announced that we were, indeed, going to make up two fours - a lightweight, with Ted, me and two other guys, and a heavyweight. I was extremely psyched because I had rowed with the other two lightweights and our very own Steve-O in a lightweight four my junior year (Best. Experience. Ever.), and knew what we were capable of doing.
Came the afternoon for the first practice of our new four and three of us plus the cox were hanging around the boathouse. But no Ted.
Then the phone rang.
It was Ted.
He'd decided he didn't want to row anymore.
Oh.
Yes. It seemed that he really didn't enjoy what he was doing and felt he'd be happier pursuing other things.
Um, and he waited until the afternoon of the first practice for the championship races to decide this?
Yep.
And it didn't bother him that without him we did not have enough lightweights to make up a four?
Nope.
I see.
Well, we did our best, bringing one of the heavies into our boat to make it up. Unfortunately, this disqualified us from rowing in the lightweight category. We had to row against heavy fours at the New Englands and got crushed. We didn't even bother with the Vails. In short, my rowing career ended not with a bang, but with a whimper all because Ted decided at the last moment that he didn't really feel like it any more.
Bastard.
While I dislike a great many people, I only genuinely hate one or two. He's one of them.
So don't tell me that it's fine for Ricky to suddenly decide to go find himself. It isn't. You make those choices at the right time, when nobody's counting on you. I may just be a fan in this case, but I know what I'm talking about.
Bastard.
(Yips! to James Joyner.)
Mark Hasty tells us Dolphin fans to get over it, that the guy is entitled to do what he wants.
No doubt. But to me, the chief monstrosity of this is the timing - right before camp and long after the Dolphins can do anything in the draft to try and compensate.
This resonates with me for a very particular reason.
As I have mentioned a few times before, I rowed crew in college. Now I never was really big enough to do so, even in the lightweight (under 160 pounds) category. (I am just under 5'11'' and in school my racing weight was about 150 pounds). I was able to stay in the program because I went to a very small Division III school that didn't have a lot of depth in its talent pool. Nonetheless, I worked very, very hard to stay in the boats. And loved it.
My senior year, I was up against another oarsman (we'll call him Ted) for the last spot in the third eight. We were about even in seat races during spring training, and were alternated in the seat during the first few races of the year. Finally, however, the coach decided to go with Ted, leaving me as the spare.
I spent most of the rest of the season working out on the ergs and trying to keep my enthusiasm up, because I knew for the final two races, at the New Englands and the Dad Vails, the school would only be taking two eights. The third eight was a mixed-weight boat and, with both me and Ted rowing, it would be possible to break it down into a lightweight four and a heavyweight four. I knew the coach was thinking this way too, so I stuck with it, despite the fact that I was often alone.
Finally, the week before the New Englands, the coach announced that we were, indeed, going to make up two fours - a lightweight, with Ted, me and two other guys, and a heavyweight. I was extremely psyched because I had rowed with the other two lightweights and our very own Steve-O in a lightweight four my junior year (Best. Experience. Ever.), and knew what we were capable of doing.
Came the afternoon for the first practice of our new four and three of us plus the cox were hanging around the boathouse. But no Ted.
Then the phone rang.
It was Ted.
He'd decided he didn't want to row anymore.
Oh.
Yes. It seemed that he really didn't enjoy what he was doing and felt he'd be happier pursuing other things.
Um, and he waited until the afternoon of the first practice for the championship races to decide this?
Yep.
And it didn't bother him that without him we did not have enough lightweights to make up a four?
Nope.
I see.
Well, we did our best, bringing one of the heavies into our boat to make it up. Unfortunately, this disqualified us from rowing in the lightweight category. We had to row against heavy fours at the New Englands and got crushed. We didn't even bother with the Vails. In short, my rowing career ended not with a bang, but with a whimper all because Ted decided at the last moment that he didn't really feel like it any more.
Bastard.
While I dislike a great many people, I only genuinely hate one or two. He's one of them.
So don't tell me that it's fine for Ricky to suddenly decide to go find himself. It isn't. You make those choices at the right time, when nobody's counting on you. I may just be a fan in this case, but I know what I'm talking about.
Bastard.
(Yips! to James Joyner.)
Tolkien Geekfest!
Think you can pass yourself off as an expert on The Lord of the Rings? Try testing your Knowledge of Middle Earth. The beginning questions are pretty silly and can even be enjoyed by those wretched naffs who only saw the movies. The advanced questions were obviously written by someone who has read the books (including The Silmarillion) very carefully indeed. (I've often wondered about that "Mouth of Sauron" slip myself.)
Then, when you get done with that, check out the
Tolkien Crackpot Theories Page, which is chock-a-block with coffee-snarf inducing, screamingly funny and very intelligent humor. Here is a great sample:
Think you can pass yourself off as an expert on The Lord of the Rings? Try testing your Knowledge of Middle Earth. The beginning questions are pretty silly and can even be enjoyed by those wretched naffs who only saw the movies. The advanced questions were obviously written by someone who has read the books (including The Silmarillion) very carefully indeed. (I've often wondered about that "Mouth of Sauron" slip myself.)
Then, when you get done with that, check out the
Tolkien Crackpot Theories Page, which is chock-a-block with coffee-snarf inducing, screamingly funny and very intelligent humor. Here is a great sample:
Ten Rejected Lord of the Rings Plot Twists:
1. Balin emerges from the depths of Moria, claiming he "fell asleep in the tub".
2. Galadriel discovers Pippin singing the praises of a bath while he takes one in her mirror.
3. Boromir uses the ring, saves Gondor, destroys Sauron and becomes a wise and benevolent ruler. Book ends 40 chapters sooner.
4. Orc-slaughter competition between Legolas and Gimli becomes so fierce, they take to killing some of the smaller, uglier men of Gondor.
5. Farmer Giles of Ham shows up at the Pelennor Fields and saves Gandalf's life.
6. Pippin hits on Eowyn in a dark corner of the Houses of Healing: "The hands of a Hobbit are the hands of a healer too, you know..."
7. In the happy days after the defeat of Sauron, Gimli keeps his promise and visits Mirkwood with Legolas -- where they are eaten by giant spiders, whom everyone had forgotten about.
8. Aragorn discovers that he is not, in fact, Elendil's heir. His older brother Mutt, after having lived with Ghan-Buri-Ghan & Co. for decades, lays claim to the throne after all the "dirty work" is done.
9. Ents and Elves dispute over title of "first-born". Elrond has Quickbeam made into an armoire; Treebeard grinds Glorfindel into mulch.
10. The Shire, mobilized by Merry and Pippin and now hungry for vengeance, annexes Bree and slaughters "the big folk".
Special bonus plot twist:
11. Gollum adapts to molten Mt. Doom environment, and later plays a critical role in Fourth Age crisis.
These and many more great things can be found at the
Tolkien Sarcasm Page. Go and indulge yourself!
Yips! again to TexasBestGrok. Jeez, John, you told me about the movie, but not about this!
Here's A Bit of Good News
Bob Edwards, recently booted as host of NPR's "Morning Edition", is leaving the network altogether to do his own gig on XM satellite radio.
As much as I loathe NPR, I used to listen to M.E. just about every day as part of my morning routine in law school. (For you young'uns, this was long before the advent of blogs and other news sources.)
In fact, one time it more or less saved my life.
At Thanksgiving one year, I was driving from Lexington, Virginia to my parents' place on Hilton Head. It's about a seven and a half hour drive. I had left school in the middle of the night, as was my custom, because there was less traffic and the time seemed to go faster when it was dark.
I usually had no problem staying awake during these drives. But this time, for whatever reason, my internal staying-awake mechanism was all fouled up. Passing through Charlotte, I was starting to fade, even after an emergency coffee stop. By the time I hit Columbia, the sun was coming up but I was just barely holding on to consciousness. (I remember the oddest sensation of tunnel-vision as I was tooling along.) The truth of the matter is that I really should have pulled over.
I started fiddling with the radio looking for something to bolster me when all of a sudden the Morning Edition theme music floated out of it, along with Edwards' voice. I suppose I was so used to listening to him while getting ready for class that my body started pumping adrenaline, because I perked right back up and made it the rest of the way home without incident.
So good luck to ya, Bob!
Bob Edwards, recently booted as host of NPR's "Morning Edition", is leaving the network altogether to do his own gig on XM satellite radio.
As much as I loathe NPR, I used to listen to M.E. just about every day as part of my morning routine in law school. (For you young'uns, this was long before the advent of blogs and other news sources.)
In fact, one time it more or less saved my life.
At Thanksgiving one year, I was driving from Lexington, Virginia to my parents' place on Hilton Head. It's about a seven and a half hour drive. I had left school in the middle of the night, as was my custom, because there was less traffic and the time seemed to go faster when it was dark.
I usually had no problem staying awake during these drives. But this time, for whatever reason, my internal staying-awake mechanism was all fouled up. Passing through Charlotte, I was starting to fade, even after an emergency coffee stop. By the time I hit Columbia, the sun was coming up but I was just barely holding on to consciousness. (I remember the oddest sensation of tunnel-vision as I was tooling along.) The truth of the matter is that I really should have pulled over.
I started fiddling with the radio looking for something to bolster me when all of a sudden the Morning Edition theme music floated out of it, along with Edwards' voice. I suppose I was so used to listening to him while getting ready for class that my body started pumping adrenaline, because I perked right back up and made it the rest of the way home without incident.
So good luck to ya, Bob!
Today's Required Reading
The New England Republican has some questions for the Smiley-Face Campaign.
I already know the answer to all of them: Nuance, me boy, nuance.
The New England Republican has some questions for the Smiley-Face Campaign.
I already know the answer to all of them: Nuance, me boy, nuance.
Remember - Three Aspirin and Three Glasses of Water Before You Pass Out
Our pal Jen (scroll down a bit) has got a great drinking game to play while watching John Effin' Kerry's 55-minute infomercial tonight:
1. Chug when he says "Vietnam"
2. Drink twice when he says "purple heart"
3. Drink when he says "two Americas"
4. Chug when he says "restore respect"
5. You get the point...
Good luck!
Our pal Jen (scroll down a bit) has got a great drinking game to play while watching John Effin' Kerry's 55-minute infomercial tonight:
1. Chug when he says "Vietnam"
2. Drink twice when he says "purple heart"
3. Drink when he says "two Americas"
4. Chug when he says "restore respect"
5. You get the point...
Good luck!
Cookie-gate heats up
What I learned at the DNC, Day Three
Speaking Of Kerry The Film Star....
Drudge is digging deeper into this business of faked combat footage. Apparently, the director of tonight's homage is admitting that shots (pardon) of bullets clipping the water near Our Hero are merely "illustrative".
Let me make abundantly clear here and now: I have nothing but respect for the actual service Kerry performed in Vietnam, although a good many of his former comrades in arms have very different opinions. Having said that, I believe this claim - if substantiated - illustrates a shallow, tawdry and counterfeit streak in JFK v. 2.0 that is nothing short of contemptible, especially as the film is going to be used to shore up the sole plank on which Kerry claims to be qualified to serve as Commander in Chief.
We'll see where this goes.
Drudge is digging deeper into this business of faked combat footage. Apparently, the director of tonight's homage is admitting that shots (pardon) of bullets clipping the water near Our Hero are merely "illustrative".
Let me make abundantly clear here and now: I have nothing but respect for the actual service Kerry performed in Vietnam, although a good many of his former comrades in arms have very different opinions. Having said that, I believe this claim - if substantiated - illustrates a shallow, tawdry and counterfeit streak in JFK v. 2.0 that is nothing short of contemptible, especially as the film is going to be used to shore up the sole plank on which Kerry claims to be qualified to serve as Commander in Chief.
We'll see where this goes.
More Crushing of Dissent in America
NASA ordered to yank Kerry "Bunny" photos from its website.
Actually, this is more Machiavellian than it appears - what better way to generate a fresh round of publication of pics of J. Francois looking like a teletubbie on steroids than by demanding their suppression - all while looking as if you're trying to preserve him from further embarrassment.
Karl Rove must've had a good chuckle over his cigar and martini after thinking that one up.
NASA ordered to yank Kerry "Bunny" photos from its website.
Actually, this is more Machiavellian than it appears - what better way to generate a fresh round of publication of pics of J. Francois looking like a teletubbie on steroids than by demanding their suppression - all while looking as if you're trying to preserve him from further embarrassment.
Karl Rove must've had a good chuckle over his cigar and martini after thinking that one up.
So Much For Helping The Little Guy
The Boston Herald is reporting that the DNC Convention has been brutal for local business. P'raps Bubba Clinton could go round to all those Mom & Pop businesses and dole out some of that cash he feels so guilty about keeping.
The Boston Herald is reporting that the DNC Convention has been brutal for local business. P'raps Bubba Clinton could go round to all those Mom & Pop businesses and dole out some of that cash he feels so guilty about keeping.
"Your elbow patches rumble with a fear reminiscent of mayonnaise sidecars cradled in scotchguard."
Behold the Surrealist Compliment Generator.
Yips! to the Flying Space Monkey Chronicles.
Behold the Surrealist Compliment Generator.
Yips! to the Flying Space Monkey Chronicles.
Double Heh
Beautiful Atrocities has a great Idiot's Guide To Bumperstickers. Jeff also coins a jewel of a phrase: "The Dopplar Shift Left." Magic.
Yips! to Viking Pundit.
Beautiful Atrocities has a great Idiot's Guide To Bumperstickers. Jeff also coins a jewel of a phrase: "The Dopplar Shift Left." Magic.
Yips! to Viking Pundit.
Garn!
Humphrey Bogart as Frodo Baggins? John at TexasBestGrok has the goods.
Unfortunately, I can't get the bloody thing open because I don't have QuickTime, but yes, this seems like something even I could enjoy. Go over and have a look and tell me what you think. I will sit here, Gollum-like, watching as you munch on your lembas.
Humphrey Bogart as Frodo Baggins? John at TexasBestGrok has the goods.
Unfortunately, I can't get the bloody thing open because I don't have QuickTime, but yes, this seems like something even I could enjoy. Go over and have a look and tell me what you think. I will sit here, Gollum-like, watching as you munch on your lembas.
Set Coffee On Snarf
Big Stupid Tommy is channeling his Inner Gary Busey. Pardon me while I go get a paper towel to clean up my screen.
Big Stupid Tommy is channeling his Inner Gary Busey. Pardon me while I go get a paper towel to clean up my screen.
The Caspian Guard
I really, really like that name. There is almost a heraldic quality to it. I also really, really like the strategic idea behind it. Go and read all about it, together with the PSI, here. It is reassuring to see what can be done when adults are in charge of things, rather than people whose definition of multilateralism consists of nothing but craven kowtowing to the French.
UPDATE: Pejman has an outstanding post up discussing the nuances of multinationalism in the context of nation-state interests and the importance of understanding these interests in forming effective foreign policy.
I really, really like that name. There is almost a heraldic quality to it. I also really, really like the strategic idea behind it. Go and read all about it, together with the PSI, here. It is reassuring to see what can be done when adults are in charge of things, rather than people whose definition of multilateralism consists of nothing but craven kowtowing to the French.
UPDATE: Pejman has an outstanding post up discussing the nuances of multinationalism in the context of nation-state interests and the importance of understanding these interests in forming effective foreign policy.
I Dunnit Again*
It's official: If you go to edit a .jpg file on Blogger, the system automatically throws a monkey-wrench into the code. (Unfortunately, I don't know enough about coding to figure out which is the rogue bit.)
Thus, when I went to shrink the width of Steve-O's latest photoshop masterpiece so as to stop it from blocking out the right-hand column, I managed to blot the picture out altogether.
Stupid Blogger.
*Today's Llama Movie Triva Quiz: Identify the quote. I can't think of any clue that wouldn't give it away, so you're on your own, pardners. Well, okay, just one - It ain't Moonstruck.
UPDATE: Okay, it's back. Whether Steve-O is doing these fixes or whether Blogger just sorts it out by itself, I have no idea.
It's official: If you go to edit a .jpg file on Blogger, the system automatically throws a monkey-wrench into the code. (Unfortunately, I don't know enough about coding to figure out which is the rogue bit.)
Thus, when I went to shrink the width of Steve-O's latest photoshop masterpiece so as to stop it from blocking out the right-hand column, I managed to blot the picture out altogether.
Stupid Blogger.
*Today's Llama Movie Triva Quiz: Identify the quote. I can't think of any clue that wouldn't give it away, so you're on your own, pardners. Well, okay, just one - It ain't Moonstruck.
UPDATE: Okay, it's back. Whether Steve-O is doing these fixes or whether Blogger just sorts it out by itself, I have no idea.
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
I think INDC Bill has to keep it in perspective
Our old pal INDCent Bill has his shorts in a twist over the coverage last night showing Farenheit 12/7 auteur Mike "Twinkletoes" Moore sitting in the Carter's box.
Actually, on further review, it appears that the Carters were guests of Moore:
The evening took a tragic turn, however, when the cute young senate candidate from Illinois crashed his pod racer into a giant canyon wall....
Our old pal INDCent Bill has his shorts in a twist over the coverage last night showing Farenheit 12/7 auteur Mike "Twinkletoes" Moore sitting in the Carter's box.
Actually, on further review, it appears that the Carters were guests of Moore:
The evening took a tragic turn, however, when the cute young senate candidate from Illinois crashed his pod racer into a giant canyon wall....
Is Little John At The Wrong Convention?
According to the AP, John Edwards is supposed to have this to say in his big speech tonight:
Um, yeaaaah. That's why I'm backing Dubya.
According to the AP, John Edwards is supposed to have this to say in his big speech tonight:
"Decisive. Strong. Aren't those the traits you want in a commander in chief?"
Um, yeaaaah. That's why I'm backing Dubya.
CookieGate!
Teya-RAY-Suh Heinz Kerry, busted over a third-rate cookie recipe, blames rogue staffers.
Steve-O, why am I envisioning a photoshop that has something to do with tollhouse chocolate chips and the words "Shove it!"?
Teya-RAY-Suh Heinz Kerry, busted over a third-rate cookie recipe, blames rogue staffers.
Steve-O, why am I envisioning a photoshop that has something to do with tollhouse chocolate chips and the words "Shove it!"?
Spot The Phony
Moxie has today's trick question.
By the way, someone comes over here pretty regularly from her site. I don't know if it's The Mox herself, but if so, we've always got a pitcher of sangria standing by in the fridge.
Moxie has today's trick question.
By the way, someone comes over here pretty regularly from her site. I don't know if it's The Mox herself, but if so, we've always got a pitcher of sangria standing by in the fridge.
Heh, Indeed, O Ineffable One!
I really really like Steve-O's photoshop of John-John and Mikey below, but I'll tell ya - it's foolish to go up against a major deity.
I really really like Steve-O's photoshop of John-John and Mikey below, but I'll tell ya - it's foolish to go up against a major deity.
Completely Random Mid-Afternoon Thought....
The AARP is running a tee-vee commercial featuring some guy getting pulled over by this hot looking motorcycle cop chick. I think this might be a slight marketing error, because damme if I can tell you what the commercial is actually about.
Then again, I haven't yet crept into the bracket they're presumably targeting. God help me if I ever reach the point where I'm more interested in the bennies of joining the Old Folks' Union than I am in a babe in a helmet, sunglasses and leather.
Just saying.
The AARP is running a tee-vee commercial featuring some guy getting pulled over by this hot looking motorcycle cop chick. I think this might be a slight marketing error, because damme if I can tell you what the commercial is actually about.
Then again, I haven't yet crept into the bracket they're presumably targeting. God help me if I ever reach the point where I'm more interested in the bennies of joining the Old Folks' Union than I am in a babe in a helmet, sunglasses and leather.
Just saying.
I Smell Trouble
Drudge is all over a new book written by one of Jean Francois Kerry's Vietnam contemporaries that claims Kerry staged recreations of combat incidents for filming on his 8 mm camera, specifically with the purpose of using them for political ends later on. I dunno if this is true, but it becomes rather choice, as clips from this film are going to be used tomorrow night as part of the introduction to Kerry's acceptance speech.
Lemme see. In the past couple days, Kerry's been accused of faking combat movies, claimed that NASA is part of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, staged a ridiculously bad (and possibly pro-French) rally in Norfolk and blamed his girlie-man pitching style on a National Guardsman.
Not too shabby. And this is all in the four or five days leading up to his big Prime Time unveiling.
See, I continue to believe that once John Effin' really hits the market, as it were, the true weakness of his candidacy will be unmasked at last. These incidents, coupled with others such as the great Secret Service Snowboard Debacle of last fall, demonstrate, variously, that Kerry is overly ambitious, completely unprincipled, politically tone-deaf, arrogant, aloof and not a serious choice for Leader One in the great global War on Terrorism. Remember how AlGore got tagged as a liar very early on and was never quite able to shake the image? I think these sorts of things are going to haunt John John, defining him and putting him on the defensive. And it ain't going to be pretty.
As I said yesterday, I think the tightness of the polls represents a referendum on Dubya's performance. About half the people approve of it, about half the people do not. For this latter group, the idea of a Kerry Presidency looks pretty good. But I think once they are brought face to face with the actual man they would be electing, that number is going to slide. Nothing will ever induce the Anybody But Bush crowd to desert, but all those folks standing around the 50 yard line are a different matter.
Call me a rosy-eyed optimist, but I believe, looking back, that Kerry is going to turn out to be nothing more than a summer thing.
Drudge is all over a new book written by one of Jean Francois Kerry's Vietnam contemporaries that claims Kerry staged recreations of combat incidents for filming on his 8 mm camera, specifically with the purpose of using them for political ends later on. I dunno if this is true, but it becomes rather choice, as clips from this film are going to be used tomorrow night as part of the introduction to Kerry's acceptance speech.
Lemme see. In the past couple days, Kerry's been accused of faking combat movies, claimed that NASA is part of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, staged a ridiculously bad (and possibly pro-French) rally in Norfolk and blamed his girlie-man pitching style on a National Guardsman.
Not too shabby. And this is all in the four or five days leading up to his big Prime Time unveiling.
See, I continue to believe that once John Effin' really hits the market, as it were, the true weakness of his candidacy will be unmasked at last. These incidents, coupled with others such as the great Secret Service Snowboard Debacle of last fall, demonstrate, variously, that Kerry is overly ambitious, completely unprincipled, politically tone-deaf, arrogant, aloof and not a serious choice for Leader One in the great global War on Terrorism. Remember how AlGore got tagged as a liar very early on and was never quite able to shake the image? I think these sorts of things are going to haunt John John, defining him and putting him on the defensive. And it ain't going to be pretty.
As I said yesterday, I think the tightness of the polls represents a referendum on Dubya's performance. About half the people approve of it, about half the people do not. For this latter group, the idea of a Kerry Presidency looks pretty good. But I think once they are brought face to face with the actual man they would be electing, that number is going to slide. Nothing will ever induce the Anybody But Bush crowd to desert, but all those folks standing around the 50 yard line are a different matter.
Call me a rosy-eyed optimist, but I believe, looking back, that Kerry is going to turn out to be nothing more than a summer thing.
Robbo The Techno-Dumbhead Strikes Again....
Because I think it's so funny, I went to move Steve-O's John n' Mike photoshop to the top of the page. Even though I didn't do anything but change the post time, my fiddling still seems to have screwed up the html and I have no idea how to fix it. The same thing happened yesterday when I went to add some comment to another of his photoshop posts.
Seems to me there's some quirk lurking within the bowels of Blogger that's responsible for this. I swear, it wasn't my fault!
(Of course, if the picture is back by the time you read this, then nevermind.)
Because I think it's so funny, I went to move Steve-O's John n' Mike photoshop to the top of the page. Even though I didn't do anything but change the post time, my fiddling still seems to have screwed up the html and I have no idea how to fix it. The same thing happened yesterday when I went to add some comment to another of his photoshop posts.
Seems to me there's some quirk lurking within the bowels of Blogger that's responsible for this. I swear, it wasn't my fault!
(Of course, if the picture is back by the time you read this, then nevermind.)
Well, SOMEBODY had to go and do it!
Everybody's making the joke about the goofy Kerry NASA pics being the equivalent of the Duke in the tank, yet no one's bothered to go and do the hard pshop work of mockery. What has this country come to? Fortunately, the Llamabutchers are on the case:
Everybody's making the joke about the goofy Kerry NASA pics being the equivalent of the Duke in the tank, yet no one's bothered to go and do the hard pshop work of mockery. What has this country come to? Fortunately, the Llamabutchers are on the case:
Less Than All-Encompassing
Remember those silly little toy compasses you played with when you were a kid that had the very wobbly needle that could never make up its mind which way it was pointing? Well here's a political version of that toy that purports to break the traditional left-right dichotomy for something more two-dimensional. According to this test, I am just a lil' bit right, economically and just a lil' bit authoritarian, socially, putting me within spitting distance of Gerhard Shroeder and Paul Martin.
I call this thing a toy because there are a great many "have you stopped beating your wife" questions in it that skew the results pretty badly. (I understand the analysis goes for the global long-view of political temperaments and that the differences among American Democrats and Republicans is relatively narrow on this scale, but anything that puts me in the same political position as John Kerry is prima facie worthless. Also, I notice the scale has no problem assigning Dubya to a slot in deep right field.) For example, I wouldn't agree with the statement that "Abortion, when the woman's life is not threatened, should always be illegal." But answering accordingly doesn't reflect my opinion that such abortion should be severely restricted. Or "What's good for the most successful corporations is always, ultimately, good for all of us." Well, of course not. But answering that way sends me farther left than it should because I believe that many times we all do benefit from corporate successes, often in unforeseen ways. There's no way to relate that in the answers. Guess it's that European nuance they're always talking about.
Anyway, have some fun with it.
Yips! to The Enviropundit, who recently put us on their blogroll too. A glance around their place reveals a rather refreshing take on conservation that has much less to do with burning down civilization and returning to our hunter/gatherer roots than most such sites and instead concentrates on exploring ways in which economics, technology and environmental policies can work together to achieve a desirable result.
Remember those silly little toy compasses you played with when you were a kid that had the very wobbly needle that could never make up its mind which way it was pointing? Well here's a political version of that toy that purports to break the traditional left-right dichotomy for something more two-dimensional. According to this test, I am just a lil' bit right, economically and just a lil' bit authoritarian, socially, putting me within spitting distance of Gerhard Shroeder and Paul Martin.
I call this thing a toy because there are a great many "have you stopped beating your wife" questions in it that skew the results pretty badly. (I understand the analysis goes for the global long-view of political temperaments and that the differences among American Democrats and Republicans is relatively narrow on this scale, but anything that puts me in the same political position as John Kerry is prima facie worthless. Also, I notice the scale has no problem assigning Dubya to a slot in deep right field.) For example, I wouldn't agree with the statement that "Abortion, when the woman's life is not threatened, should always be illegal." But answering accordingly doesn't reflect my opinion that such abortion should be severely restricted. Or "What's good for the most successful corporations is always, ultimately, good for all of us." Well, of course not. But answering that way sends me farther left than it should because I believe that many times we all do benefit from corporate successes, often in unforeseen ways. There's no way to relate that in the answers. Guess it's that European nuance they're always talking about.
Anyway, have some fun with it.
Yips! to The Enviropundit, who recently put us on their blogroll too. A glance around their place reveals a rather refreshing take on conservation that has much less to do with burning down civilization and returning to our hunter/gatherer roots than most such sites and instead concentrates on exploring ways in which economics, technology and environmental policies can work together to achieve a desirable result.
Zo, You Ist Vell Adjusted. I Zink Dot Is Der Problem.
Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Yips! to Impenetrable Prose and Poesy.
Freudian Inventory Results |
| Genital (76%) you appear to have a progressive and constructive outlook on life.
Latency (43%) you appear to have a good balance of knowledge seeking and practicality. Phallic (50%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure. Anal (63%) you appear to be overly self controlled, organized, and subservient to authority. Oral (46%) you appear to have a good balance of independence and interdependence. |
personality tests by similarminds.com
Yips! to Impenetrable Prose and Poesy.
It's official.....
(of course, the problem is if you get this gag, you really, really, REALLY need to get a hobby...)
(of course, the problem is if you get this gag, you really, really, REALLY need to get a hobby...)
What I learned at the Democratic National Convention, Day Two
UPDATE: Here are the links for the Monday and Sunday editions of the series. Tonight, I have a strong feeling I'll be desparately searching Google for just the right Jerry Mathers picture....
UPDATE: Here are the links for the Monday and Sunday editions of the series. Tonight, I have a strong feeling I'll be desparately searching Google for just the right Jerry Mathers picture....
Gratuitous Domestic Post (I smell T-R-O-U-B-L-E)
My four year old, who happens to be Steve-O's goddaughter, is developing traits that are going to do nobody any good down the road. For instance, her elder sister has a rather short chain, the yanking of which has proved increasingly irresistible of late. This has been getting both of them in a bit of trouble, the one being busted for fits of rage, the other for teasing.
But what is really alarming is the way the 4 y.o. is learning to vamp her way out of things. This morning we were fooling about when all of a sudden she hauled off and kicked me hard on the shin. When I took her to task for this, her eyes got all round, solemn and slightly teary and she said, "Oh, Daddy, I'm so sorry," in a way that would melt the polar caps. Of course I had to give her a hug and say, "Well, just don't do it again". Next thing I knew, however, she batted her lashes at me, flashed a wicked grin and scurried off.
As much as I fret in a general way about how my girls are going to face the challenges and pitfalls of teenaged and adult life, there is a certain part of my brain that is already feeling sorry for the poor shmucks who get mixed up with them. From what I see, these guys don't stand a chance.
My four year old, who happens to be Steve-O's goddaughter, is developing traits that are going to do nobody any good down the road. For instance, her elder sister has a rather short chain, the yanking of which has proved increasingly irresistible of late. This has been getting both of them in a bit of trouble, the one being busted for fits of rage, the other for teasing.
But what is really alarming is the way the 4 y.o. is learning to vamp her way out of things. This morning we were fooling about when all of a sudden she hauled off and kicked me hard on the shin. When I took her to task for this, her eyes got all round, solemn and slightly teary and she said, "Oh, Daddy, I'm so sorry," in a way that would melt the polar caps. Of course I had to give her a hug and say, "Well, just don't do it again". Next thing I knew, however, she batted her lashes at me, flashed a wicked grin and scurried off.
As much as I fret in a general way about how my girls are going to face the challenges and pitfalls of teenaged and adult life, there is a certain part of my brain that is already feeling sorry for the poor shmucks who get mixed up with them. From what I see, these guys don't stand a chance.
A Ha Ha HAAAAA!!!!
NASA joins the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy! Welcome aboard, comrades Good work on the ambush photos! I guess Kerry's Botox injections are what kept him smiling against his will.
UPDATE: Glenn has a nifty round-up, as usual.
NASA joins the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy! Welcome aboard, comrades Good work on the ambush photos! I guess Kerry's Botox injections are what kept him smiling against his will.
UPDATE: Glenn has a nifty round-up, as usual.
Movers N Shakers
John Hawkins over at Right Wing News did another one of his blogger polls recently, this time asking people to turn in lists of the world's most influential people. (You may recall that his last poll, that of favorite fictional characters, was the causus belli from which arose the Stone-Cold Jane Austen Cage Match between Kathy the Cake Eater and your humble Llama. Then again, you may not. Very few people offered any feedback on it. Humph, I say. Humph.)
Anyhoo, here is the list of folks who made the cut:
20) Moses (10)
20) John Locke (10)
20) Buddha (10)
17) Martin Luther (11)
17) Albert Einstein (11)
17) Alexander the Great (11)
15) Adam Smith (12)
15) Thomas Jefferson (12)
12) Sir Isaac Newton (13)
12) Thomas Edison (13)
12) Christopher Columbus (13)
11) Joseph Stalin (14)
10) Johann Gutenberg (15)
7) Ronald Reagan (17)
7) Abraham Lincoln (17)
7) Aristotle (17)
6) George Washington (18)
5) Mohammed (20)
4) Winston Churchill (20)
3) Karl Marx (24)
2) Adolph Hitler (26)
1) Jesus Christ (33)
Honorable Mentions go to William Shakespeare (7), Genghis Khan (7), Mahatma Ghandi (7), Galileo (7), Emperor Constantine (7), Franklin Delano Roosevelt (9), Napoleon Bonaparte (9), Mao Zedong (9).
I didn't get my responses done in time, but Steve-O did. Here is his list:
10 who've f*cked things up pretty bad:
Ghengis Khan (KAAAAHNNNNN!)
Attila the Hun
Napoleon Bonaparte
Adolf Hitler
Stalin
Mao
Pope Innocent IV
the dude who burned the library of Alexandria
the Dutch sea captain who introduced slavery toAmerica, and
Commissioner Bowie Kuhn, for introducing astroturf and the designated hitter to baseball
10 who've made a real difference:
Galileo
Winston Churchill
Aristotle
George Washington
the dude who invented air conditioning
my Mom
Neil Armstrong
Mark Spitz
Mozart
and, of course, Kurt Russell
I can go with those.
John Hawkins over at Right Wing News did another one of his blogger polls recently, this time asking people to turn in lists of the world's most influential people. (You may recall that his last poll, that of favorite fictional characters, was the causus belli from which arose the Stone-Cold Jane Austen Cage Match between Kathy the Cake Eater and your humble Llama. Then again, you may not. Very few people offered any feedback on it. Humph, I say. Humph.)
Anyhoo, here is the list of folks who made the cut:
20) Moses (10)
20) John Locke (10)
20) Buddha (10)
17) Martin Luther (11)
17) Albert Einstein (11)
17) Alexander the Great (11)
15) Adam Smith (12)
15) Thomas Jefferson (12)
12) Sir Isaac Newton (13)
12) Thomas Edison (13)
12) Christopher Columbus (13)
11) Joseph Stalin (14)
10) Johann Gutenberg (15)
7) Ronald Reagan (17)
7) Abraham Lincoln (17)
7) Aristotle (17)
6) George Washington (18)
5) Mohammed (20)
4) Winston Churchill (20)
3) Karl Marx (24)
2) Adolph Hitler (26)
1) Jesus Christ (33)
Honorable Mentions go to William Shakespeare (7), Genghis Khan (7), Mahatma Ghandi (7), Galileo (7), Emperor Constantine (7), Franklin Delano Roosevelt (9), Napoleon Bonaparte (9), Mao Zedong (9).
I didn't get my responses done in time, but Steve-O did. Here is his list:
10 who've f*cked things up pretty bad:
Ghengis Khan (KAAAAHNNNNN!)
Attila the Hun
Napoleon Bonaparte
Adolf Hitler
Stalin
Mao
Pope Innocent IV
the dude who burned the library of Alexandria
the Dutch sea captain who introduced slavery toAmerica, and
Commissioner Bowie Kuhn, for introducing astroturf and the designated hitter to baseball
10 who've made a real difference:
Galileo
Winston Churchill
Aristotle
George Washington
the dude who invented air conditioning
my Mom
Neil Armstrong
Mark Spitz
Mozart
and, of course, Kurt Russell
I can go with those.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Well, THAT'S weird...
I don't know what's more bizarre: that someone searched Yahoo for "Miranda, diapers, prostitute, nazi", or that upon commencing that search, they found us.
Let's chum the waters more: troll, poll, jelly roll, mary jo kopechne, anne heche arrest me, throw like a girl John Kerry his running mate Luke Perry, Olsen Twins, bowling pins, INDC Bill al-Jazeera's bitch, Teh-RAY-zah is a witch, Ben Affleck career in toilet Nancy Pelosi "tax cuts? we'll spoil it", Illuminati in Slurpee cup quoth Marion Barry "the bitch set me up." Osama pics dead Kerry's a red smoothie in the morn, Carter malaise, cheese fries, Saddam loves goat porn.
I don't know what's more bizarre: that someone searched Yahoo for "Miranda, diapers, prostitute, nazi", or that upon commencing that search, they found us.
Let's chum the waters more: troll, poll, jelly roll, mary jo kopechne, anne heche arrest me, throw like a girl John Kerry his running mate Luke Perry, Olsen Twins, bowling pins, INDC Bill al-Jazeera's bitch, Teh-RAY-zah is a witch, Ben Affleck career in toilet Nancy Pelosi "tax cuts? we'll spoil it", Illuminati in Slurpee cup quoth Marion Barry "the bitch set me up." Osama pics dead Kerry's a red smoothie in the morn, Carter malaise, cheese fries, Saddam loves goat porn.
The poor fly never stood a chance
(Pic courtesy of INDCent Bill)
(Pic courtesy of INDCent Bill)
Jabba The Gut vs. That Bottomless Pit Thingy From Return of the Jedi
This is a prime example of why I pay no attention whatsoever to talking heads pundit shows. Ya call this a debate? This is a school-yard shouting match between a slick, nihilistic, smart ass and a geek with a thyroid problem. I can sort of see where O'Reilly is trying to go, although he squanders many debating points in his effort to shout down Moore. Moore, on the other hand, being devoid of any decency, maturity or self-respect, can dance around all he wants, for example totally glossing over the obvious difference between a mistake and a lie, and tossing off his "would you sacrifice your child to secure Fallujah" b.s. in exactly the manner of an overly-clever 15 year old.
Brrr. What's scary is that this is about as deep into the debate as most people ever get, even people who consider themselves to be well-informed. My advice? Turn off the tube and stick to reading blogs.
This is a prime example of why I pay no attention whatsoever to talking heads pundit shows. Ya call this a debate? This is a school-yard shouting match between a slick, nihilistic, smart ass and a geek with a thyroid problem. I can sort of see where O'Reilly is trying to go, although he squanders many debating points in his effort to shout down Moore. Moore, on the other hand, being devoid of any decency, maturity or self-respect, can dance around all he wants, for example totally glossing over the obvious difference between a mistake and a lie, and tossing off his "would you sacrifice your child to secure Fallujah" b.s. in exactly the manner of an overly-clever 15 year old.
Brrr. What's scary is that this is about as deep into the debate as most people ever get, even people who consider themselves to be well-informed. My advice? Turn off the tube and stick to reading blogs.
MeMeMeMeeee!!!
Winding down an interesting Tuesday afternoon, I thought I would appropriate the latest dose of Monday Madness from LDH's Impenetrable Prose and Poesy. Today, it's all about opposites. As always, this is only an exhibition, not a competition. Please - no wagering:
If you had your choice between this and that, what would you do?
1. Skipping and Running? Yeah, like my life-long desire is to be mistaken for Nathan Lane.
2. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi is for communists, so I guess I'd have to go with Coke. However, the only soda I ever genuinely enjoyed was Mr. Pibb (1st Generation).
3. Rock or Hip Hop Rock? Occassionally, rock lifts itself beyond its deadbeat hippie teenager roots and comes near to being genuine art. On the other hand, rap is nothing more than noise. Very loud noise.
4. Laptop or Desktop? Fabulous babes are welcome to my laptop. Books, papers, coffee cups and other objects should remain on the desktop.
5. Cold Weather or Hot Weather? For a Halloween Party in law school one year, I dressed up as Cold Miser while the Butcher's Wife dressed up as Heat Miser. That about says it all.
6. Swimming or Bicycling? A pool is nothing more than a large bathtub and should be used for lounging about and soaking, preferably with a drink within easy reach. If you want exercise, go for the bike.
7. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla.
8. Day or Night? I'm a night owl. We hates the Yellow Face! It sssspies on us, yes it does.
9. Looks or Brains? (I assume this means what I'm looking for in someone else.) A wise philosopher once remarked that in the dark, all cats are grey. Fortunately, I am privileged not to have to make such a choice.
10. Cable, DSL, or Dial-Up? As much of a techno-idiot as I am, even I don't enjoy having to use dial-up at home. As to the other two, beats me. DSL doesn't come out to my house yet, so it's rather a moot point if we decide to switch over.
Winding down an interesting Tuesday afternoon, I thought I would appropriate the latest dose of Monday Madness from LDH's Impenetrable Prose and Poesy. Today, it's all about opposites. As always, this is only an exhibition, not a competition. Please - no wagering:
If you had your choice between this and that, what would you do?
1. Skipping and Running? Yeah, like my life-long desire is to be mistaken for Nathan Lane.
2. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi is for communists, so I guess I'd have to go with Coke. However, the only soda I ever genuinely enjoyed was Mr. Pibb (1st Generation).
3. Rock or Hip Hop Rock? Occassionally, rock lifts itself beyond its deadbeat hippie teenager roots and comes near to being genuine art. On the other hand, rap is nothing more than noise. Very loud noise.
4. Laptop or Desktop? Fabulous babes are welcome to my laptop. Books, papers, coffee cups and other objects should remain on the desktop.
5. Cold Weather or Hot Weather? For a Halloween Party in law school one year, I dressed up as Cold Miser while the Butcher's Wife dressed up as Heat Miser. That about says it all.
6. Swimming or Bicycling? A pool is nothing more than a large bathtub and should be used for lounging about and soaking, preferably with a drink within easy reach. If you want exercise, go for the bike.
7. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla.
8. Day or Night? I'm a night owl. We hates the Yellow Face! It sssspies on us, yes it does.
9. Looks or Brains? (I assume this means what I'm looking for in someone else.) A wise philosopher once remarked that in the dark, all cats are grey. Fortunately, I am privileged not to have to make such a choice.
10. Cable, DSL, or Dial-Up? As much of a techno-idiot as I am, even I don't enjoy having to use dial-up at home. As to the other two, beats me. DSL doesn't come out to my house yet, so it's rather a moot point if we decide to switch over.
Damn You, Blogger!
I haven't the slightest idea why the template is suddenly all screwed up. Something like this happened to our friend Kathleen the Cake Eater last week. Do your best. The blogroll 'n stuff is now down at the bottoms somewhere.
UPDATE: Okay, think I fixed it. It seems that Blogger was being stubborn about not allowing a break in the line in the middle of a link. Stupid Blogger. (Thanks for the tip, Kathy!)
I haven't the slightest idea why the template is suddenly all screwed up. Something like this happened to our friend Kathleen the Cake Eater last week. Do your best. The blogroll 'n stuff is now down at the bottoms somewhere.
UPDATE: Okay, think I fixed it. It seems that Blogger was being stubborn about not allowing a break in the line in the middle of a link. Stupid Blogger. (Thanks for the tip, Kathy!)
Red Light Red Tape
Want to go to Canada to be a stripper? The guv'mint will be
happy to see you, eh.
Choice bit:
Want to go to Canada to be a stripper? The guv'mint will be
happy to see you, eh.
Choice bit:
The potential dancers have to prove they can dance in the nude, immigration
lawyer Mendel Green said yesterday.
"They can't be partially nude," he said. "If they don't have pictures in the
nude, they are not going to wiggle their bottoms in Canada."
Immigration lawyer Richard Kurland said the women have to show nude
pictures to ensure they're not abusing the system.
In related news, applications by 18 year old men to join the Canadian Immigration Service have skyrocketed.
(Link via Drudge. And notice that we Llamas resisted the urge to go for the obvious beaver joke here.)
Yee-OUCH!
The latest ABCNEWS/WaPo poll is full of horrible news for John Effin' Kerry going into the Convention. Even after months of naked Bush-bashing in the press and all the pre-convention hype, Kerry finds himself slipping in almost every category. Not what you want to see on the eve of the Party's big bash. (Perhaps that's why he skunked that throw at the Sox game the other night. UPDATE: Priceless! According to this, relayed by Rob A, Kerry's now blaming the National Guardsman who was catching for his girlie-man lob.)
The punchline is that, according to the poll, nearly half the respondents don't even know where Kerry stands on the issues. What that means is that these numbers reflect more of a referendum on Dubya's performance to date than anything else. Given the continual improvement in the economy, the progress in Iraq and our ongoing war against the bad guys, I think the recent upticks indicate that the scope of Dubya's successes is starting to sink in on folks. Barring some unforeseen circumstances, there's no good reason to think this trend won't continue.
Of course, this week primarily marks Kerry's opportunity to stop skulking in the shadows and to finally tell the world just who the hell he really is and why anybody should vote for him. Well, good luck with that. I believe Kerry has done as well as he has so far precisely because he has stayed out of the spotlight. What the polls reflect now is some support for the idea of a Kerry Presidency. But that's a very different thing from wanting to pull the lever for the man himself. It's the same as looking at one of those personal ads: "Tall, dark, handsome and rich, interested in progressive social policy and weekends in the Vineyard" looks pretty good on paper. But wait till you actually see the guy on your doormat before you actually make up your mind whether you want to marry him. I believe once people see the Real Kerry, they're going to be turned off in a big way and start making noises about having forgotten they need to wash their hair while fumbling for the deadbolt. Kerry is politically tone-deaf. He's cold and remote. As for policy, his record is practically a parody (that is, when he bothers to vote at all) and his flipfloppery makes Clinton's triangulation look downright Churchillian in comparison.
This is why I am not yet overly concerned about all the Donk glee in the past couple of days over the thought that Kerry might just win it. All this glee reflects is the fact that the various nuts, fruits and flakes within the party's hard-core Anybody But Bush cadre have made a bargain not to knife-fight with each other in front of the cameras. The Very Important Persons in the Party are hoping that this Potemkin Unity will be enough to sell their boy to the Center and get him over the finish line. As I say, I don't think this is going to do it, given Kerry's very real personal defects.
Way back when nobody read us, I coined the term "Maginot Candidate" to describe Kerry. I still think it is apt: He looks strong and solid and unbeatable, especially on paper and especially if you think like a Frenchman. But when actually put to the test of serious combat, I think he is going to be worse than useless, showing himself to be obsolete, immobile and unable to deal with a smart, fast-moving opponent.
The latest ABCNEWS/WaPo poll is full of horrible news for John Effin' Kerry going into the Convention. Even after months of naked Bush-bashing in the press and all the pre-convention hype, Kerry finds himself slipping in almost every category. Not what you want to see on the eve of the Party's big bash. (Perhaps that's why he skunked that throw at the Sox game the other night. UPDATE: Priceless! According to this, relayed by Rob A, Kerry's now blaming the National Guardsman who was catching for his girlie-man lob.)
The punchline is that, according to the poll, nearly half the respondents don't even know where Kerry stands on the issues. What that means is that these numbers reflect more of a referendum on Dubya's performance to date than anything else. Given the continual improvement in the economy, the progress in Iraq and our ongoing war against the bad guys, I think the recent upticks indicate that the scope of Dubya's successes is starting to sink in on folks. Barring some unforeseen circumstances, there's no good reason to think this trend won't continue.
Of course, this week primarily marks Kerry's opportunity to stop skulking in the shadows and to finally tell the world just who the hell he really is and why anybody should vote for him. Well, good luck with that. I believe Kerry has done as well as he has so far precisely because he has stayed out of the spotlight. What the polls reflect now is some support for the idea of a Kerry Presidency. But that's a very different thing from wanting to pull the lever for the man himself. It's the same as looking at one of those personal ads: "Tall, dark, handsome and rich, interested in progressive social policy and weekends in the Vineyard" looks pretty good on paper. But wait till you actually see the guy on your doormat before you actually make up your mind whether you want to marry him. I believe once people see the Real Kerry, they're going to be turned off in a big way and start making noises about having forgotten they need to wash their hair while fumbling for the deadbolt. Kerry is politically tone-deaf. He's cold and remote. As for policy, his record is practically a parody (that is, when he bothers to vote at all) and his flipfloppery makes Clinton's triangulation look downright Churchillian in comparison.
This is why I am not yet overly concerned about all the Donk glee in the past couple of days over the thought that Kerry might just win it. All this glee reflects is the fact that the various nuts, fruits and flakes within the party's hard-core Anybody But Bush cadre have made a bargain not to knife-fight with each other in front of the cameras. The Very Important Persons in the Party are hoping that this Potemkin Unity will be enough to sell their boy to the Center and get him over the finish line. As I say, I don't think this is going to do it, given Kerry's very real personal defects.
Way back when nobody read us, I coined the term "Maginot Candidate" to describe Kerry. I still think it is apt: He looks strong and solid and unbeatable, especially on paper and especially if you think like a Frenchman. But when actually put to the test of serious combat, I think he is going to be worse than useless, showing himself to be obsolete, immobile and unable to deal with a smart, fast-moving opponent.
Searching the waterfront, and bringing back the tasty bit rat-ka-bobs with a nice pesto sauce
Wacky new blog of the week: say hello to Lord Floppington down at Imaginary Conversations and Random Thoughts. His Excellency makes the crack young staff of the HMQ seem, well, sane, and us, well, positively suburban. Go visit, so you can tell all your cool friends, "yeah, I was reading Floppington back when he was an insignificant microbe!"
Yips! from Robbo. Let me also take a moment to give some Llama Yips to the newest members of our blogroll:
The California Yankee
Naked Villainy
The Resplendent Mango
The Barely Attentive Mother
Even a casual perusal of these sites will indicate that when we say we're searching the waterfront, we ain't foolin' around. There are benefits in being a quadruped.
Wacky new blog of the week: say hello to Lord Floppington down at Imaginary Conversations and Random Thoughts. His Excellency makes the crack young staff of the HMQ seem, well, sane, and us, well, positively suburban. Go visit, so you can tell all your cool friends, "yeah, I was reading Floppington back when he was an insignificant microbe!"
Yips! from Robbo. Let me also take a moment to give some Llama Yips to the newest members of our blogroll:
The California Yankee
Naked Villainy
The Resplendent Mango
The Barely Attentive Mother
Even a casual perusal of these sites will indicate that when we say we're searching the waterfront, we ain't foolin' around. There are benefits in being a quadruped.
What we learned at the DNC, Day One
UPDATE: Welcome Indecent Bill fans!
UPDATE DEUX: Somehow the html got screwed up on that, hopefully it's okay on your browser. A big sloppy Llama smooch to Bill for pointing out (yet again) the error in our ways...
UPDATE: Welcome Indecent Bill fans!
UPDATE DEUX: Somehow the html got screwed up on that, hopefully it's okay on your browser. A big sloppy Llama smooch to Bill for pointing out (yet again) the error in our ways...
Full Frontal Llama Disclosure
I did not watch the Donks' convention last night and probably won't bother until Kerry gives his speech on Thursday. To me, that's all that really matters as far as the actual election goes and I've got plenty of better things to do with my time than watch Bubba et Al (get it?) doling out a little eye-candy to the Party Faithful.
(Which doesn't mean that I might not snark about someone else's review, of course.)
UPDATE: Oh, just so the Tasty Bits (TM) Mail Sack doesn't get swamped with moonbat hatemail (again), let me just point out that I'll probably take the same approach with the GOP convention as well.
I did not watch the Donks' convention last night and probably won't bother until Kerry gives his speech on Thursday. To me, that's all that really matters as far as the actual election goes and I've got plenty of better things to do with my time than watch Bubba et Al (get it?) doling out a little eye-candy to the Party Faithful.
(Which doesn't mean that I might not snark about someone else's review, of course.)
UPDATE: Oh, just so the Tasty Bits (TM) Mail Sack doesn't get swamped with moonbat hatemail (again), let me just point out that I'll probably take the same approach with the GOP convention as well.
Monday, July 26, 2004
I'm not sure this is what Dean Esmay had in mind, but hey, we're the Llamabutchers....
In a paean for peace and understanding and blogosphere balance and sanity, our old friend Dean Esmay proposes "disagree with a blogger you respect" day. (OKAY, I'M A CHOWDA-HEAD: IT WAS THE COMMISSAR WHO CALLED FOR DISAGREE WITH A BLOGGER YOU RESPECT DAY, AND DEAN WHO CALLED FOR THE "WHOEVER IS ELECTED WILL BE MY PRESIDENT" PLEDGE. SORRY---THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH HUFFING GLUE WHILE PSHOPPING IS THAT IT SOMETIMES FOGS UP YOUR GLASSES)
So without further ado, our bone to pick with Andrew Sullivan.
I like Andrew Sullivan's blog, at least until it became "Post-Modern Bride" over the winter. Seriously, I never have to donate in his pledge drives because two years ago I twisted arms around campus and got the college to shell out ten large for him to come and talk. It was outrageously great---he was hilarious, passionate, witty, all the things you would expect if you are a regular reader. Sure, he goes on about exploding toilets, the beagle's gas, and karaoke, but hey, it's not like we can complain about absurd idiosyncratic blogging.
But sometime over the winter he went around the bend. We did a series at the time "Sullivan Agonistes" (I'm too lazy at the moment to find it in the archive found it--March 4, back when we were crawly amphibians), in which we pondered the situation and came to the conclusion that hopefully the famous Cox and Forkum cartoon of that week, showing two men in tuxedos arguing vehemently with a preacher standing atop a huge hydrogen bomb labeled "Iranian Nukes", would put things in perspective. Sully would come around, we hoped.
Alas, we were wrong. I respect his writing, but have increasingly drifted away from his blog, checking in now maybe once every other week to see if he was back on course. It looks like we are going our separate ways, intellectually, ideologically, and politically, but hey, it's America and that's okay.
So, in the spirit of the Commissar's call for the blogging olive branch, the Llamabutchers present our "disagree with a blogger you respect" moment: our analysis of how John Kerry secured Sully's endorsement:
In a paean for peace and understanding and blogosphere balance and sanity, our old friend Dean Esmay proposes "disagree with a blogger you respect" day. (OKAY, I'M A CHOWDA-HEAD: IT WAS THE COMMISSAR WHO CALLED FOR DISAGREE WITH A BLOGGER YOU RESPECT DAY, AND DEAN WHO CALLED FOR THE "WHOEVER IS ELECTED WILL BE MY PRESIDENT" PLEDGE. SORRY---THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH HUFFING GLUE WHILE PSHOPPING IS THAT IT SOMETIMES FOGS UP YOUR GLASSES)
So without further ado, our bone to pick with Andrew Sullivan.
I like Andrew Sullivan's blog, at least until it became "Post-Modern Bride" over the winter. Seriously, I never have to donate in his pledge drives because two years ago I twisted arms around campus and got the college to shell out ten large for him to come and talk. It was outrageously great---he was hilarious, passionate, witty, all the things you would expect if you are a regular reader. Sure, he goes on about exploding toilets, the beagle's gas, and karaoke, but hey, it's not like we can complain about absurd idiosyncratic blogging.
But sometime over the winter he went around the bend. We did a series at the time "Sullivan Agonistes" (I'm too lazy at the moment to find it in the archive found it--March 4, back when we were crawly amphibians), in which we pondered the situation and came to the conclusion that hopefully the famous Cox and Forkum cartoon of that week, showing two men in tuxedos arguing vehemently with a preacher standing atop a huge hydrogen bomb labeled "Iranian Nukes", would put things in perspective. Sully would come around, we hoped.
Alas, we were wrong. I respect his writing, but have increasingly drifted away from his blog, checking in now maybe once every other week to see if he was back on course. It looks like we are going our separate ways, intellectually, ideologically, and politically, but hey, it's America and that's okay.
So, in the spirit of the Commissar's call for the blogging olive branch, the Llamabutchers present our "disagree with a blogger you respect" moment: our analysis of how John Kerry secured Sully's endorsement:
Gas Grillers, Just Look Away
Our pal the Chai-Rista is back and she's BBQ-blogging something fierce.
It's def, I'm telling ya, stupid def!
Our pal the Chai-Rista is back and she's BBQ-blogging something fierce.
It's def, I'm telling ya, stupid def!
HMQ Watch
Put down your coffee cups, Ladies and Gentlemen, because the Crack Young Staff of the Hatemonger's Quarterly are back from vacation, tanned, ready and rested, and eager to return to the business of serving up daily helpings of quality crankiness. Personally, we Llamas were getting a bit jittery and irritable trying to make do with the summer schedule, to say nothing of our jealousy over the CYS's constant references to junkets to Rome (IT). (Wish we had that kind of research budget.)
Put down your coffee cups, Ladies and Gentlemen, because the Crack Young Staff of the Hatemonger's Quarterly are back from vacation, tanned, ready and rested, and eager to return to the business of serving up daily helpings of quality crankiness. Personally, we Llamas were getting a bit jittery and irritable trying to make do with the summer schedule, to say nothing of our jealousy over the CYS's constant references to junkets to Rome (IT). (Wish we had that kind of research budget.)
Gratuitous Llama Gardening Post
One of the most amiable customs I know of is the practice of gardeners of giving plant specimens to other gardeners to put in their own beds. It's especially nice when there is some kind of backstory, so that the recipient might be able to say, "Oh, that such-and-such came from my dear friend Jane" or "That so-and-so is from my father's garden in Pennsylvania". Last year, I tried to bring a couple of small roses down from my parents' place in Maine. They were rather small and a bit sickly and, unfortunately, did not survive the winter.
Well after spending a very relaxing weekend at my godparents' place out in the country, I came home armed with some specimens of Blackberry Lily and Russian sage from their garden. Very nice. Very nice.
One of the most amiable customs I know of is the practice of gardeners of giving plant specimens to other gardeners to put in their own beds. It's especially nice when there is some kind of backstory, so that the recipient might be able to say, "Oh, that such-and-such came from my dear friend Jane" or "That so-and-so is from my father's garden in Pennsylvania". Last year, I tried to bring a couple of small roses down from my parents' place in Maine. They were rather small and a bit sickly and, unfortunately, did not survive the winter.
Well after spending a very relaxing weekend at my godparents' place out in the country, I came home armed with some specimens of Blackberry Lily and Russian sage from their garden. Very nice. Very nice.
Blogging Nation
This is cool. I discovered last evening at a party that one of our friends is a fellow blogger. This is the first time I have actually talked to a real live person about blogging and not seen a look of boredom, alarm or bewilderment come into their eyes. (Of course, I did see various combinations of these looks coming into the eyes of the people sitting around us while we were chatting, but you can't expect everything.)
So in the spirit of fellowship, may I present to you Anne, the Barely Attentive Mother.
This is cool. I discovered last evening at a party that one of our friends is a fellow blogger. This is the first time I have actually talked to a real live person about blogging and not seen a look of boredom, alarm or bewilderment come into their eyes. (Of course, I did see various combinations of these looks coming into the eyes of the people sitting around us while we were chatting, but you can't expect everything.)
So in the spirit of fellowship, may I present to you Anne, the Barely Attentive Mother.
Play Ball!
Aha-ha, ha! I missed the opening pitch of last night's Red Sox/Yankees game, but even the radio jocks were calling Kerry a girlie-man this morning for one-hopping the damn thing, even though he was standing well in front of the mound.
On the other hand, I saw the ESPN announcers interviewing Kerry round about the 5th inning or so. Oddly enough, for all that I am following politics these days, this was the first time I've actually seen or heard Kerry speak, rather than reading the transcripts. My reaction? You've....got....to...be....kidding! The announcers were trying to get him to say something about letting Pete Rose into the Hall of Fame and all he could come up with was, "well....that's...a....decision...............for....the....writers...."
Wake me when it's over, please! Now I have a theory that there are an awful lot of people around the country who, like me, are plenty aware of the idea of the Kerry candidacy, but don't know that much about the real, live guy behind it. Peggy Noonan was absolutely right last week when she said that Kerry's acceptance speech is going to be a hugely defining moment for his campaign. If he appears as wooden and lifeless there as he did last night, he's going to have some serious problems this fall.
UPDATE: David Frum notices the same thing.
Aha-ha, ha! I missed the opening pitch of last night's Red Sox/Yankees game, but even the radio jocks were calling Kerry a girlie-man this morning for one-hopping the damn thing, even though he was standing well in front of the mound.
On the other hand, I saw the ESPN announcers interviewing Kerry round about the 5th inning or so. Oddly enough, for all that I am following politics these days, this was the first time I've actually seen or heard Kerry speak, rather than reading the transcripts. My reaction? You've....got....to...be....kidding! The announcers were trying to get him to say something about letting Pete Rose into the Hall of Fame and all he could come up with was, "well....that's...a....decision...............for....the....writers...."
Wake me when it's over, please! Now I have a theory that there are an awful lot of people around the country who, like me, are plenty aware of the idea of the Kerry candidacy, but don't know that much about the real, live guy behind it. Peggy Noonan was absolutely right last week when she said that Kerry's acceptance speech is going to be a hugely defining moment for his campaign. If he appears as wooden and lifeless there as he did last night, he's going to have some serious problems this fall.
UPDATE: David Frum notices the same thing.
Llama Movie Review
Our Llama Military Correspondent checks in with his thoughts on Cat Woman:
Our Llama Military Correspondent checks in with his thoughts on Cat Woman:
Now despite all the heckling I get from some folks about trying to turn the Butcher's Shop into Fraser Crane's Bree N' Beaujolais Blog Cafe, I am proud to say that I can be as shallow a moviegoer as the next guy. Given that, this review makes me sad. I'm hard pressed to understand how anyone could have shanked a flick involving Halle Barre, skin-tight leather, Sharon Stone and catfighting so badly. It seems to me the thing would write itself. I think I'll wait for the special "Dude's Cut" DVD edition recommended by our correspondent.Friday night, Mrs. LMC and I lined up our superstar fifteen year-old babysitter to watch the Crown Prince and went out to the movies to see "Catwoman." As you know, I am proud to call myself the World's Shallowest Moviegoer--all I ask is for good-looking women, great special effects, a barely plausible plot, and a high body count. I do not want to think deep thoughts of college classes involving 19th century American literature, Shakespeare, or anything else--in short, I do not want to think at all. I want to escape and at $7.50 a pop per ticket, plus junk feed, and the superstar fifteen year-old babysitter's meter clicking at $5 per hour, I am not asking too much. A movie with Halle Barre in a skintight leather cat suit alongside superskank Sharon Stone looked like it would fit the bill.
What a letdown. The first forty-five minutes were consumed with the development of Halle's character, Patience, who was done in by an evil cosmetics mogul peddling toxic skin products, resurrected by a "temple cat" from ancient Egypt, and the rantings of some middle-aged ex-college professor cat expert denied tenure by the, you guessed it, "male patrimony". All of this was woven into some improbable love story involving Julia Roberts' ex. It was all very tedious and by the time we finally got to the requisite fight scene between Sharon and Halle, my Patience was gone and I was practically unconscious. I will not spoil the ending for you but the DVD version of the movie would be infinite improved if the producer cut out all but the fight scene and looped it so it would run continuously for an hour and forty-five minutes.
Sunday, July 25, 2004
You really can't go home again
Thomas Wolfe spoke the truth, as the disemodied head of Frank J. found out this week while vacationing in his homeland of France.
On further review, it looks like the "Blogger Hooligan" T-shirts being hawked by INDC Bill are finding their market!
Thomas Wolfe spoke the truth, as the disemodied head of Frank J. found out this week while vacationing in his homeland of France.
On further review, it looks like the "Blogger Hooligan" T-shirts being hawked by INDC Bill are finding their market!
Classic Llamabutcher
In honor of the Democratic Convention, we are pulling out all the stops to present our brand of pure partisan hackery. To kick things off, here's a classic llamabutcher description of John Kerry's foreign policy:
In honor of the Democratic Convention, we are pulling out all the stops to present our brand of pure partisan hackery. To kick things off, here's a classic llamabutcher description of John Kerry's foreign policy:
Ut-oh, Robbo's not going to like this one...
Following up on my response earlier in the week to Robbo's description of life as a Miami Dolphins fan (in which I argued that the Fins are becoming the Boston Red Sox of the NFL, which built on an earlier post in which I argued that the Sawx are the French of Major League Baseball---ie loud, obnoxious, arrogant, tied to an antiquated facility and haplessly beaten like a rented mule by their arch-rivals for approximatley 100 years), Fins star running back Ricky Williams announces his retirement at age 27.
Perhaps he heard about the coming crisis to Social Security by the impending retirement of the baby boom and wanted to get a head start.
Williams announced that he was going to "travel in Asia" next, which means the Fins can wire his checks to that opium den in Bangkok that's hired Mike Tyson as a waitress.
Tip o' the hat to Paul at Wizbang.
Following up on my response earlier in the week to Robbo's description of life as a Miami Dolphins fan (in which I argued that the Fins are becoming the Boston Red Sox of the NFL, which built on an earlier post in which I argued that the Sawx are the French of Major League Baseball---ie loud, obnoxious, arrogant, tied to an antiquated facility and haplessly beaten like a rented mule by their arch-rivals for approximatley 100 years), Fins star running back Ricky Williams announces his retirement at age 27.
Perhaps he heard about the coming crisis to Social Security by the impending retirement of the baby boom and wanted to get a head start.
Williams announced that he was going to "travel in Asia" next, which means the Fins can wire his checks to that opium den in Bangkok that's hired Mike Tyson as a waitress.
Tip o' the hat to Paul at Wizbang.
Saturday, July 24, 2004
WARNING, PEOPLE: HEADS UP AND SET B.S. PHASERS TO STUN!
Freakin' Jen reports on a virus making its way around the internet promising the gullible pics of our old buddy Osama in various states of dead-itude. The nice twist is the disclaimer that it hasn't made the main press yet because the Bush administration is trying to hush it up (insert paranoid explanations here).
Of course, people trying to open up the link and download the pics get infected with a Trojan Horse virus doing the usual nasties to your hard drive.
Common sense, people!
We now return to our usual fare of overwrought predictions, snide and snarky analysis, and paint-thinner fumes induced pshopping.
UPDATE: We have quite a number (okay, three) regular readers who are a wee bit dainty on the technical side but quite heavy hitters when Robbo rolls in with all his classical stuff.
So for the technically impaired but classically literate audience, here is my explanation of the above post.
Do this:
and this is what will happen to your computer:
Any questions?
Freakin' Jen reports on a virus making its way around the internet promising the gullible pics of our old buddy Osama in various states of dead-itude. The nice twist is the disclaimer that it hasn't made the main press yet because the Bush administration is trying to hush it up (insert paranoid explanations here).
Of course, people trying to open up the link and download the pics get infected with a Trojan Horse virus doing the usual nasties to your hard drive.
Common sense, people!
We now return to our usual fare of overwrought predictions, snide and snarky analysis, and paint-thinner fumes induced pshopping.
UPDATE: We have quite a number (okay, three) regular readers who are a wee bit dainty on the technical side but quite heavy hitters when Robbo rolls in with all his classical stuff.
So for the technically impaired but classically literate audience, here is my explanation of the above post.
Do this:
and this is what will happen to your computer:
Any questions?
Hmmm, but it doesn't say anything about needing to be fat and wearing ridiculous berets....
I'm forwarding this internship listing to our director of career services.
(Hat tip to the Galvin Opinion).
I'm forwarding this internship listing to our director of career services.
(Hat tip to the Galvin Opinion).
Two Lists from Sheila
First, Movies (a list she picked up from our old friend Big Stupid Tommy):
1) What moment from what movie still makes you laugh out loud - no matter how many times you see it?
David Spade hitting Farley in the head with a two by four in Tommy Boy.
When the Death Mobile appears out of the cake in the parade scene in Animal House, bent on ramming the viewing stand. I can't tell you how many times I've thought of doing that at work to our current Dean.
2) What moment from what movie still makes you cry like a baby - no matter how many times you see it?
I hate to be derivative, but I'm going to have to agree with Tommy and Sheila on this one and go with catch scene at the end of Field of Dreams.
The landing scene of Private Ryan---I work a short distance from Bedford Virginia, and it just tears me up thinking of those guys from the 29th piling off in the first wave.
The scene in Shawshank Redemption when you realize he's broken out of prison and not committed suicide.
3) What moment from what movie made you actually turn your head from the screen - either in fear, revulsion, or contempt for the fact that you actually paid money to see the film?
All three for the hat trick: Pearl Harbor, Mister Wrong, and Exit to Eden (here's my review of those two cinematic gems).
At least until CHIPS 04: The Movie comes out! (Or, The Passion 2 for that matter).
BONUS) What is one single moment from a film that is indelibly etched in your brain? Not a scene or a sequence exactly, but three or four seconds from a movie that contain an image or phrase or concept that transcends normal movies?
One of the single best movie shots of all time: the profile of Indiana Jones, standing on the hill housing the well of souls, with the hard Egyptian sun setting right behind him, the wind is blowing, he bends down and puts on his hat.
DAMN, that's an indelible shot.
Second, High School Dance music burned in your brain.
For me, I don't remember those quite as much, mainly because I was something of a sullen punk. Jr. High, however, is etched by Meat Loaf and Donna Summer, while college, my very first party I remember Debbie Guss dancing on top of a table to Sheila E.'s "Lush Life" at about 3 a.m. That's when I realized college was going to be a lot better than I had anticipated...
First, Movies (a list she picked up from our old friend Big Stupid Tommy):
1) What moment from what movie still makes you laugh out loud - no matter how many times you see it?
David Spade hitting Farley in the head with a two by four in Tommy Boy.
When the Death Mobile appears out of the cake in the parade scene in Animal House, bent on ramming the viewing stand. I can't tell you how many times I've thought of doing that at work to our current Dean.
2) What moment from what movie still makes you cry like a baby - no matter how many times you see it?
I hate to be derivative, but I'm going to have to agree with Tommy and Sheila on this one and go with catch scene at the end of Field of Dreams.
The landing scene of Private Ryan---I work a short distance from Bedford Virginia, and it just tears me up thinking of those guys from the 29th piling off in the first wave.
The scene in Shawshank Redemption when you realize he's broken out of prison and not committed suicide.
3) What moment from what movie made you actually turn your head from the screen - either in fear, revulsion, or contempt for the fact that you actually paid money to see the film?
All three for the hat trick: Pearl Harbor, Mister Wrong, and Exit to Eden (here's my review of those two cinematic gems).
At least until CHIPS 04: The Movie comes out! (Or, The Passion 2 for that matter).
BONUS) What is one single moment from a film that is indelibly etched in your brain? Not a scene or a sequence exactly, but three or four seconds from a movie that contain an image or phrase or concept that transcends normal movies?
One of the single best movie shots of all time: the profile of Indiana Jones, standing on the hill housing the well of souls, with the hard Egyptian sun setting right behind him, the wind is blowing, he bends down and puts on his hat.
DAMN, that's an indelible shot.
Second, High School Dance music burned in your brain.
For me, I don't remember those quite as much, mainly because I was something of a sullen punk. Jr. High, however, is etched by Meat Loaf and Donna Summer, while college, my very first party I remember Debbie Guss dancing on top of a table to Sheila E.'s "Lush Life" at about 3 a.m. That's when I realized college was going to be a lot better than I had anticipated...
STEP. BACK. FROM THE VCR. MS. O'MALLEY, AND NO ONE GETS HURT!
Sheila sings the praise of Pump Up the Volume, one of the truly greatest bad high school movies of all time. What makes PUTV so good is how it cut against the high school genre of the time, away from the wreckage that had become of "Brat Pack" oevre and took it in a startlingly new direction: setting it in suburban Arizona! Hey--that's new! Previously, all high school movies for the past 10 years seemed to be set either in Valley High, LA, or Evanston, IL. What makes it even more delicious now is knowing what's going to happen to Christian Slater, what a washed-up heroined-out has been he would become. Cruel? Of course--but it's the level of cruelty by proxy that makes the high school genre work.
BTW, Sheila's chock full of good stuff today, surpassing even her usual high level of quality red-headed ramblings.
Sheila sings the praise of Pump Up the Volume, one of the truly greatest bad high school movies of all time. What makes PUTV so good is how it cut against the high school genre of the time, away from the wreckage that had become of "Brat Pack" oevre and took it in a startlingly new direction: setting it in suburban Arizona! Hey--that's new! Previously, all high school movies for the past 10 years seemed to be set either in Valley High, LA, or Evanston, IL. What makes it even more delicious now is knowing what's going to happen to Christian Slater, what a washed-up heroined-out has been he would become. Cruel? Of course--but it's the level of cruelty by proxy that makes the high school genre work.
BTW, Sheila's chock full of good stuff today, surpassing even her usual high level of quality red-headed ramblings.
Now aint that special
The Silver Fox (bravely bringing us the Whiskey AND the Sexy!) has the pic showing the Frogs doing their best to imitate a bunch of Maryland fans after getting whupped yet again by Duke. (Via Sheila)
At some point today, I've got about 5 pshop ideas for this one--I'd like to find the right angle of a FDNY guy on 911, and put him there so the Frenchies can be giving him the finger. That (and maybe kicking a Jewish kid) about sums up the state of French "culture" today.
The Silver Fox (bravely bringing us the Whiskey AND the Sexy!) has the pic showing the Frogs doing their best to imitate a bunch of Maryland fans after getting whupped yet again by Duke. (Via Sheila)
At some point today, I've got about 5 pshop ideas for this one--I'd like to find the right angle of a FDNY guy on 911, and put him there so the Frenchies can be giving him the finger. That (and maybe kicking a Jewish kid) about sums up the state of French "culture" today.
They don't call it Texas BEST Grok for nothing!
John Lanius has the scoop on perhaps the most bizarre LP of the 1960s that doesn't involve William Shatner.
John Lanius has the scoop on perhaps the most bizarre LP of the 1960s that doesn't involve William Shatner.
Even more bizarre than Trousergate
DownRange has the latest update on the strange story of the American soldier who went missing in the DMZ 39 years ago and has recently surfaced in Japan.
Somehow, I get the feeling that I'll be seeing this storyline in JAG next spring. Perhaps they can get Alec Baldwin to play the part: he seems to have gone missing behind enemy lines for an equally long time....
UPDATE: Yips to House of Payne for pointing out Alec is perhaps too plump for the "Dear Leader" South Inchon Beach Diet: what's Stephen Baldwin doing these days? Anybody?
DownRange has the latest update on the strange story of the American soldier who went missing in the DMZ 39 years ago and has recently surfaced in Japan.
Somehow, I get the feeling that I'll be seeing this storyline in JAG next spring. Perhaps they can get Alec Baldwin to play the part: he seems to have gone missing behind enemy lines for an equally long time....
UPDATE: Yips to House of Payne for pointing out Alec is perhaps too plump for the "Dear Leader" South Inchon Beach Diet: what's Stephen Baldwin doing these days? Anybody?
Well THAT'S a slogan that grabs your attention
From the Pudgy Pundit: "Make the whole map Red, or Wake Up Dead!"
From the Pudgy Pundit: "Make the whole map Red, or Wake Up Dead!"
A secret, private, answer to a question posed by the cranky neocon
We Llamas are WAY hotter!
(BTW, when I hear "Cranky Neocon," I always get this image of Gertrude Himmelfarb in an evil Pepperidge Farms commercial, rapping poor lil' Bill Kristol on the knuckles saying, "No, you aint gonna have no damn Milanos till you finish your translation of Herodotus, bitch!")
We Llamas are WAY hotter!
(BTW, when I hear "Cranky Neocon," I always get this image of Gertrude Himmelfarb in an evil Pepperidge Farms commercial, rapping poor lil' Bill Kristol on the knuckles saying, "No, you aint gonna have no damn Milanos till you finish your translation of Herodotus, bitch!")
Now I know why the mail moves so damn slow
Here's a (as we used to say in the old neighborhood) wicked funny blog that's new to me: BarCodeKing.
His motto, you ask?
"Philosopher. Curmudgeon. Postal Worker."
Good enough for me!
Here's a (as we used to say in the old neighborhood) wicked funny blog that's new to me: BarCodeKing.
His motto, you ask?
"Philosopher. Curmudgeon. Postal Worker."
Good enough for me!
Friday, July 23, 2004
That's no moon....IT'S A SPACE STATION!
Geek Empire writes about trying to explain what an "Instalanche" is to his girlfriend: I tried to do the same thing this afternoon to my wife, pointing out "See, see, there's no way Robbo's mom visited 10,000 times today!" She laughed that wry laugh she has, and said, "well, it could be worse: you could be a Civil War re-enactor."
Can you see why I married her?
(Actually, while I promised before we got married ten years ago today that I would never, ever, ever, become a Civil or Revolutionary War dress-up guy, you know, i conveniently left out mention of the War of 1812...)
Anyhoo, happy anniversary hon. And yes, I bought a lottery ticket today too. Because I'm feeling lucky......
Geek Empire writes about trying to explain what an "Instalanche" is to his girlfriend: I tried to do the same thing this afternoon to my wife, pointing out "See, see, there's no way Robbo's mom visited 10,000 times today!" She laughed that wry laugh she has, and said, "well, it could be worse: you could be a Civil War re-enactor."
Can you see why I married her?
(Actually, while I promised before we got married ten years ago today that I would never, ever, ever, become a Civil or Revolutionary War dress-up guy, you know, i conveniently left out mention of the War of 1812...)
Anyhoo, happy anniversary hon. And yes, I bought a lottery ticket today too. Because I'm feeling lucky......
Looks like a party to me
The Pamphleteer has purloined the agenda for the opening night of the Democratic Convention.
BTW, I love this blog---not only does it sound like an eighteenth century superhero (it's a bird, it's a donkey cart, its.....The Pamphleteer!), but he's exactly right about the origins of the freedom of the press in its protection of amateur journalism. So stop on by and give a rousing Yip! Yip! Yip!
The Pamphleteer has purloined the agenda for the opening night of the Democratic Convention.
BTW, I love this blog---not only does it sound like an eighteenth century superhero (it's a bird, it's a donkey cart, its.....The Pamphleteer!), but he's exactly right about the origins of the freedom of the press in its protection of amateur journalism. So stop on by and give a rousing Yip! Yip! Yip!
Aaaah.......
This is one of my favorite weekends of the year. Each summer, we set aside a weekend to go down to my godparents' house in the country outside of Fredericksburg. It's so relaxing and tranquil that even though we only go for one night, it feels like we've stayed for three or four. The kids play with the dogs and feed the cows and, if they're very good, get taken for a tractor ride down to the Rappahanock River. But the bulk of the time is just spent sitting about and chatting amiably of this and that, often with a glass full of some peculiar or obscure liquor that my uncle has dredged up from somewhere or other. There is absolutely no sight or sound of anyone else - no lights, no car noises, nothing. In my geekier moments, I sometimes think of it as a trip to Lothlorien.
I'm getting sleepy just thinking about it.....
This is one of my favorite weekends of the year. Each summer, we set aside a weekend to go down to my godparents' house in the country outside of Fredericksburg. It's so relaxing and tranquil that even though we only go for one night, it feels like we've stayed for three or four. The kids play with the dogs and feed the cows and, if they're very good, get taken for a tractor ride down to the Rappahanock River. But the bulk of the time is just spent sitting about and chatting amiably of this and that, often with a glass full of some peculiar or obscure liquor that my uncle has dredged up from somewhere or other. There is absolutely no sight or sound of anyone else - no lights, no car noises, nothing. In my geekier moments, I sometimes think of it as a trip to Lothlorien.
I'm getting sleepy just thinking about it.....
Go Tell The Spartans, Dude!
Allah debunks the notion of a gulf between the Ancient and the Modern. I don't think it's dumb, I think it's droll.
Allah debunks the notion of a gulf between the Ancient and the Modern. I don't think it's dumb, I think it's droll.
Another John Post
Kerry, this time. Steve den Beste thinks Dubya is setting him up for a good old fashion whuppin'. I believe there is a great deal to this.
Kerry, this time. Steve den Beste thinks Dubya is setting him up for a good old fashion whuppin'. I believe there is a great deal to this.
Speaking of Johns and Texas.....
My brother John forwarded me this article about the Civil War history of Matagorda Island, including the defense of Pass Cavallo, which is located about midway along the curve of the Texas Gulf Coast. This is very interesting to me because we fished Pass Cavallo and the back bays behind the island for years and years when I was growing up.
There is virtually nothing there now, just dunes and beach and the remains of an old Coast Guard station on the inland side that got destroyed in a hurricane in the late 60's. Hard to believe that this stretch of water was the scene of repeated skirmishes during the war.
And just to show how things can come around full circle, check out this picture of Fort Popham, Maine. It was built at the mouth of the Kennebec River to protect the Bath Iron Works, located upstream, from Confederate Raiders. It so happens that we now fish here every summer when we go up to visit my parents.
Having feet both in Texas and in Maine, I sometimes think I've become my own Bearded Spock.
My brother John forwarded me this article about the Civil War history of Matagorda Island, including the defense of Pass Cavallo, which is located about midway along the curve of the Texas Gulf Coast. This is very interesting to me because we fished Pass Cavallo and the back bays behind the island for years and years when I was growing up.
There is virtually nothing there now, just dunes and beach and the remains of an old Coast Guard station on the inland side that got destroyed in a hurricane in the late 60's. Hard to believe that this stretch of water was the scene of repeated skirmishes during the war.
And just to show how things can come around full circle, check out this picture of Fort Popham, Maine. It was built at the mouth of the Kennebec River to protect the Bath Iron Works, located upstream, from Confederate Raiders. It so happens that we now fish here every summer when we go up to visit my parents.
Having feet both in Texas and in Maine, I sometimes think I've become my own Bearded Spock.
"Operation Coffee Cup"
Our friend John over at TexasBestGrok has a nifty tribute to Ronald Reagan unlike any other I've seen. It may be a bit late, but well worth the wait. Go take a look.
Our friend John over at TexasBestGrok has a nifty tribute to Ronald Reagan unlike any other I've seen. It may be a bit late, but well worth the wait. Go take a look.
Way Cool
Check out the Apollo Image Gallery. Lots and lots and lots of fantastic photos.
Yips! to Reen.
Check out the Apollo Image Gallery. Lots and lots and lots of fantastic photos.
Yips! to Reen.
Forth, Eorlingas!
Katie of the Resplendent Mango calls herself an Eowyn voter. I love that.
Yips! to Dean.
Katie of the Resplendent Mango calls herself an Eowyn voter. I love that.
Yips! to Dean.
Sssssmokin'!
Sheila is running with a movie meme from Big Stupid Tommy that looks rather interesting. I'm not going to do it myself, but bring it up by way of intro to a related topic.
As I do every now and again just for the lazy, lightweight entertainment value, I popped my 99 cent used copy of The Mask into the ol' VCR last night. The high point of the movie, as far as I'm concerned, is Jim Carry and Cameron Diaz's big dance number. That scene jumps!
I've still got the music in my head today. Hey! Pachuco!
Oh, I will contribute one thought to Sheila and Tommy's meme that I also left in Tommy's comments. God help me, I think one of the most hysterically funny moments in the movies is the scene from Porky's where Miss Balbricker is trying to convince Principal Whatsisname to let her do a, er, John Thomas lineup of the boys while the two coachs try (unsuccessfully) not to lose it in the background. There is nothing so funny as watching someone else try not to laugh, and that scene regularly leaves me in tears.
Sheila is running with a movie meme from Big Stupid Tommy that looks rather interesting. I'm not going to do it myself, but bring it up by way of intro to a related topic.
As I do every now and again just for the lazy, lightweight entertainment value, I popped my 99 cent used copy of The Mask into the ol' VCR last night. The high point of the movie, as far as I'm concerned, is Jim Carry and Cameron Diaz's big dance number. That scene jumps!
I've still got the music in my head today. Hey! Pachuco!
Oh, I will contribute one thought to Sheila and Tommy's meme that I also left in Tommy's comments. God help me, I think one of the most hysterically funny moments in the movies is the scene from Porky's where Miss Balbricker is trying to convince Principal Whatsisname to let her do a, er, John Thomas lineup of the boys while the two coachs try (unsuccessfully) not to lose it in the background. There is nothing so funny as watching someone else try not to laugh, and that scene regularly leaves me in tears.
Forty-Two
Go read Tim Worstall's latest TechCentralStation column in which he muses on one of the more violent questions of Life, the Universe and Everything.
Tim built this column out of a post I did a little while back that jogged his memory of Mr. L. Prosser and his mighty ancestry. (How do I know this? Because Tim sent me an extremely nice note thanking me for it.)
I bring this up not to toot my own horn (well, okay, maybe just a leeetle bit), but because this is a perfect example of one of the things I love most about reading and writing blogs. We are such a vast web of interconnected sources of thoughts and ideas - almost a giant electronic brain, with each site representing a single cell. Here, an offhanded remark by me sparks an idea by someone else that turns into a column. Elsewhere, someone comes up with a meme that flashes all over the web, taking on hundreds of different permutations. Yonder, issues large and small are being debated and refined, washed, rinsed and dried and bent, folded and mutilated. Literally millions of times a day. And thanks to the electronic platform on which it takes place, all of it happens at the speed of light.
In short, the collective creative power of blogging is positively awe-inspiring. In THHGTTG, the Earth itself turns out to be a giant supercomputer built to figure out the actual question of Life, the Universe and Everything that goes with the answer forty-two. At the risk of sounding positively mushy, I believe the Blogsphere has taken on that role. I also like to think that Douglas Adams is smiling down on all of this from Somewhere.
UPDATE: Our good friend John L invites us to take a ride in the WayBack Machine. It is done. This means one of two things. Either we're operating on the same wavelength in a weirdo kind of cosmic harmony or else I've gone and done another one of those Essays in the Bleedin' Obvious. Perhaps both. You be the judge.
Go read Tim Worstall's latest TechCentralStation column in which he muses on one of the more violent questions of Life, the Universe and Everything.
Tim built this column out of a post I did a little while back that jogged his memory of Mr. L. Prosser and his mighty ancestry. (How do I know this? Because Tim sent me an extremely nice note thanking me for it.)
I bring this up not to toot my own horn (well, okay, maybe just a leeetle bit), but because this is a perfect example of one of the things I love most about reading and writing blogs. We are such a vast web of interconnected sources of thoughts and ideas - almost a giant electronic brain, with each site representing a single cell. Here, an offhanded remark by me sparks an idea by someone else that turns into a column. Elsewhere, someone comes up with a meme that flashes all over the web, taking on hundreds of different permutations. Yonder, issues large and small are being debated and refined, washed, rinsed and dried and bent, folded and mutilated. Literally millions of times a day. And thanks to the electronic platform on which it takes place, all of it happens at the speed of light.
In short, the collective creative power of blogging is positively awe-inspiring. In THHGTTG, the Earth itself turns out to be a giant supercomputer built to figure out the actual question of Life, the Universe and Everything that goes with the answer forty-two. At the risk of sounding positively mushy, I believe the Blogsphere has taken on that role. I also like to think that Douglas Adams is smiling down on all of this from Somewhere.
UPDATE: Our good friend John L invites us to take a ride in the WayBack Machine. It is done. This means one of two things. Either we're operating on the same wavelength in a weirdo kind of cosmic harmony or else I've gone and done another one of those Essays in the Bleedin' Obvious. Perhaps both. You be the judge.
D.C. Baseball?
James Joyner relays the latest buzz that the Montreal Expos are likely to move to the D.C. area.
I think this is terrific news. As for whether the team should locate in D.C. itself or out near Dulles, I believe Downtown is the better idea for the reasons outlined by James. Traffic heading out the Dulles Toll Road in the evenings - always heavy - gets snarled enough just by Wolftrap concerts - I shudder to think what a ball game would do. (On the other hand, this might just be the thing to hustle up construction of the new Metro line out to Dulles, with which folks have been dinking around for a long time now. But that's a solution that is still years away.)
Of course, there is no way a stadium can be built anywhere Downtown without some kind of parking facilities. I would think this would be obvious to the folks making proposals.
Oh, and Peter Angelos can go to hell.
YIPS from Steve: I absolutely concur with your assessment of Peter Angelos, and would only add a suggestion of things he can do with various orifices on the trip.
That said, here's my suggestions for the Top Ten Names for the Northern Virginia Baseball Team:
James Joyner relays the latest buzz that the Montreal Expos are likely to move to the D.C. area.
I think this is terrific news. As for whether the team should locate in D.C. itself or out near Dulles, I believe Downtown is the better idea for the reasons outlined by James. Traffic heading out the Dulles Toll Road in the evenings - always heavy - gets snarled enough just by Wolftrap concerts - I shudder to think what a ball game would do. (On the other hand, this might just be the thing to hustle up construction of the new Metro line out to Dulles, with which folks have been dinking around for a long time now. But that's a solution that is still years away.)
Of course, there is no way a stadium can be built anywhere Downtown without some kind of parking facilities. I would think this would be obvious to the folks making proposals.
Oh, and Peter Angelos can go to hell.
YIPS from Steve: I absolutely concur with your assessment of Peter Angelos, and would only add a suggestion of things he can do with various orifices on the trip.
That said, here's my suggestions for the Top Ten Names for the Northern Virginia Baseball Team:
10. The McMansions
9. The Holders of Worthless AOL Stock Options
8. The Road Ragers
7. The Souless Surbanites
6. The Paved Meadows
5. The Soccer Moms
4. The Toll Roaders (inside joke)
3. The Dulles Dudes
2. The Down-Loudons
and the number one name for the "new" Northern Virginia major league baseball team:
1. The San Juan Expos
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Sumbitch!
I'm practically speechless! Out of the blue, we get our first Instalanche this evening, owing to one of Steve-O's photoshop specials.
The punchline? I don't get it!
Help me, Spock!
UPDATE: Thanks for all the dope slaps. I feel enlightened now. (Don't mind me folks, I'm like the waiter at Milliways - so unhip it's a wonder my bum doesn't fall off.)
In the meantime, I think it's obvious from the timing of our Instalanche and Steve-O's announcement of the upcoming arrival of v. 4.0 that the only possible name for the child is "Glenn Reynolds (Llamabutcher)".
I'm practically speechless! Out of the blue, we get our first Instalanche this evening, owing to one of Steve-O's photoshop specials.
The punchline? I don't get it!
Help me, Spock!
UPDATE: Thanks for all the dope slaps. I feel enlightened now. (Don't mind me folks, I'm like the waiter at Milliways - so unhip it's a wonder my bum doesn't fall off.)
In the meantime, I think it's obvious from the timing of our Instalanche and Steve-O's announcement of the upcoming arrival of v. 4.0 that the only possible name for the child is "Glenn Reynolds (Llamabutcher)".
Sympathy for the Devil
Some gags just write themselves:
I wanted to do one with oversized Hagar slacks, but the effect wasn't the same.....
Some gags just write themselves:
I wanted to do one with oversized Hagar slacks, but the effect wasn't the same.....
A Long Time Ago, In Pants Far Away......
Put down your beverage, close and lock your door and click on this. Hi-freakin-larious.
Yips! to Pejman.
Put down your beverage, close and lock your door and click on this. Hi-freakin-larious.
Yips! to Pejman.
Are You Ready For Some Football?
Not many folks were reading our little screed last winter, so you may not know that I am and always have been a huge Miami Dolphins fan. I first got hooked on them back in the Griese/Csonka glory days and have never given up.
So I am interested that Don Banks is saying A. J. Feeley is going to get the nod over Jay Fiedler for starting QB this year. I have tried very hard to remain loyal to Fiedler the past couple years. He is a good to average QB. He is capable of some clutch performances. He is undoubtedly a team leader. Unfortunately, whenever he throws, you are never quite sure exactly what is going to happen. I don't really know anything about Feeley, but given the past couple years' results, I'm ready to try something else.
Not many folks were reading our little screed last winter, so you may not know that I am and always have been a huge Miami Dolphins fan. I first got hooked on them back in the Griese/Csonka glory days and have never given up.
So I am interested that Don Banks is saying A. J. Feeley is going to get the nod over Jay Fiedler for starting QB this year. I have tried very hard to remain loyal to Fiedler the past couple years. He is a good to average QB. He is capable of some clutch performances. He is undoubtedly a team leader. Unfortunately, whenever he throws, you are never quite sure exactly what is going to happen. I don't really know anything about Feeley, but given the past couple years' results, I'm ready to try something else.
World's Smallet Violin
Saddam has filed a complaint with the European Court of Human Rights that his Geneva Convention rights are being violated. (I'll pause here so you can wipe away that tear of grief. Or laughter. Whichever.)
The punchline is that Saddam is filing the complaint against France and expecting the French to turn around and make us comply.
Here's where that Choice of Leadership thing comes in, because by the time this case gets decided the elections will be well over. Which response would you rather have:
Kerry: Zut alors! You are right, my nuanced friends. We must do everything we can to maintain international harmony and respect the wishes of our moral betters in Europe. Perhaps Saddam would care for a new espresso machine to show our remorse, no?
Bush: Go piss up a rope, Jacques.
Saddam has filed a complaint with the European Court of Human Rights that his Geneva Convention rights are being violated. (I'll pause here so you can wipe away that tear of grief. Or laughter. Whichever.)
The punchline is that Saddam is filing the complaint against France and expecting the French to turn around and make us comply.
Here's where that Choice of Leadership thing comes in, because by the time this case gets decided the elections will be well over. Which response would you rather have:
Kerry: Zut alors! You are right, my nuanced friends. We must do everything we can to maintain international harmony and respect the wishes of our moral betters in Europe. Perhaps Saddam would care for a new espresso machine to show our remorse, no?
Bush: Go piss up a rope, Jacques.
Thanks, I Needed That.
J. McIntyre has a very good post up today over at Real Clear Politics in which he offers an analysis of the polls, the Donks' sudden sense of blood in the water and the likely dynamic of the race going into the fall. (Yips! to Marc Noonan.)
Go read it. I think the critical point, as made in the post, is that we do not have a head to head race yet and really won't until after the Conventions. The polls so far represent a referendum on Dubya's performance to date and they are about evenly split. But in the fall, people are going to have to focus front and center on the question which one of these men do you want to lead the country for the next four years. This is really a different question. Also, given the unique fact that we're in the midst of World War IV at the moment, I think all the current talk about which way middle-of-the-roaders will break, based on historical performance, is rather useless.
This may very well be the year of the Security Mom.
Anyway, come the fall, Kerry will no longer be able to skulk in the shadows and take potshots at the President, relying on the Anybody But Bush crowd to carry water for him. Instead, he will have to come forward into the light himself and argue why he should be elected. As the divine Peggy Noonan (mmmm.....Peggy) notes today, that process starts next week. And for all the current Donk gleefulness that they might actually have a chance, no one really knows how Kerry is going to play in primetime. I continue to believe the answer is going to be not very well.
J. McIntyre has a very good post up today over at Real Clear Politics in which he offers an analysis of the polls, the Donks' sudden sense of blood in the water and the likely dynamic of the race going into the fall. (Yips! to Marc Noonan.)
Go read it. I think the critical point, as made in the post, is that we do not have a head to head race yet and really won't until after the Conventions. The polls so far represent a referendum on Dubya's performance to date and they are about evenly split. But in the fall, people are going to have to focus front and center on the question which one of these men do you want to lead the country for the next four years. This is really a different question. Also, given the unique fact that we're in the midst of World War IV at the moment, I think all the current talk about which way middle-of-the-roaders will break, based on historical performance, is rather useless.
This may very well be the year of the Security Mom.
Anyway, come the fall, Kerry will no longer be able to skulk in the shadows and take potshots at the President, relying on the Anybody But Bush crowd to carry water for him. Instead, he will have to come forward into the light himself and argue why he should be elected. As the divine Peggy Noonan (mmmm.....Peggy) notes today, that process starts next week. And for all the current Donk gleefulness that they might actually have a chance, no one really knows how Kerry is going to play in primetime. I continue to believe the answer is going to be not very well.
Kill The Wabbit!
Someone googled in here on "how butcher rabbit".
"Slowly and painfully," is my advice.
Someone googled in here on "how butcher rabbit".
"Slowly and painfully," is my advice.
Bringing Out My Inner Geek
I really like this site because ever since I recently saw it for the first time, I've had that high, slightly hysterical voice in my head saying, "Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!"
Considering the way Joe Wilson has been able to sneak out through the kitchen and the way Pants-Happy Sandy McBurgler is morphing into the latest victim of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, this suits my present mood exactly.
Speaking of vermin, Davros has a great photo that I dearly hope has been seen by Michael "Step Away From the Buffet" Moore.
I really like this site because ever since I recently saw it for the first time, I've had that high, slightly hysterical voice in my head saying, "Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!"
Considering the way Joe Wilson has been able to sneak out through the kitchen and the way Pants-Happy Sandy McBurgler is morphing into the latest victim of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, this suits my present mood exactly.
Speaking of vermin, Davros has a great photo that I dearly hope has been seen by Michael "Step Away From the Buffet" Moore.
Flitterpuff
Eloise the Spitbull ID's the tooth-fairy.
We happened to be discussing the economics of tooth loss just the other evening. My six year old is growing increasingly impatient for the ol' chompers to start dropping and, in unguarded moments, can be observed trying to help them along. (For the record, I have a vague memory of doing the same sort of thing round about her age.)
Anyway, as I discussed all this with the Missus, I was suddenly made aware for the very first time that the current going rate is a buck a tooth. My reaction to the news was approximately as follows:
(As you can tell, I'm settling into the stereotype very comfortably, thank you.)
Evidently from Eloise's post, I'm not just suffering the inflationary effect of living in the Northern VA 'Burbs. Rather, this outrageous gouging appears widespread. When did the cost of maintaining Flitterpuff get so exorbitant?
Eloise the Spitbull ID's the tooth-fairy.
We happened to be discussing the economics of tooth loss just the other evening. My six year old is growing increasingly impatient for the ol' chompers to start dropping and, in unguarded moments, can be observed trying to help them along. (For the record, I have a vague memory of doing the same sort of thing round about her age.)
Anyway, as I discussed all this with the Missus, I was suddenly made aware for the very first time that the current going rate is a buck a tooth. My reaction to the news was approximately as follows:
What the hell do you mean, a dollar? When I was a kid, I didn't get anything! What's wrong with a quarter, fer cryin' out loud? Kids today - spoiled rotten.
(As you can tell, I'm settling into the stereotype very comfortably, thank you.)
Evidently from Eloise's post, I'm not just suffering the inflationary effect of living in the Northern VA 'Burbs. Rather, this outrageous gouging appears widespread. When did the cost of maintaining Flitterpuff get so exorbitant?
Academic Smackdown!
Athena (via Kevin at Wizbang) has some vicious and spot on advice for professors.
I agree with all of them, particularly about the price of books, and the annoying cartoons on their doors.
I have only one thing on my door and it's this:
Athena (via Kevin at Wizbang) has some vicious and spot on advice for professors.
I agree with all of them, particularly about the price of books, and the annoying cartoons on their doors.
I have only one thing on my door and it's this:
From one link-ho to another
INDCent Bill to the moonbat left:
INDCent Bill to the moonbat left:
BRING ON THE HATE MAIL, HIPPIES!
Old Bulls and Young Turks
We Llamas have been of the opinion for some time that Frank J has become, shall we say, a leeetle too big for his britches.
Well it looks like the Avoca-Pundit wants to take him down.* You go, Jason! Think Rocky! Want Steve-O to dress up in a skirt and call himself Adrian? No probs! (Not like it hasn't happened before...)
* I assume this is what Jason wants. If he wants some kind of acknowledgement from Frank, all I can say is pack it in and go home, boy. Ain't. Gonna. Happen.
We Llamas have been of the opinion for some time that Frank J has become, shall we say, a leeetle too big for his britches.
Well it looks like the Avoca-Pundit wants to take him down.* You go, Jason! Think Rocky! Want Steve-O to dress up in a skirt and call himself Adrian? No probs! (Not like it hasn't happened before...)
* I assume this is what Jason wants. If he wants some kind of acknowledgement from Frank, all I can say is pack it in and go home, boy. Ain't. Gonna. Happen.
An apology, an announcement, and a confession
First of all, I'd like to thank Robbo for holding down the shop this week: for the most part, I've been missing in action in a sort of action-packed lazy summer sort of way. I've been doing primary driving/minding duties for swimming practice/meets/lessons this week for the kids, and that's eaten up the time I've been using for fooling around in the basement kingdom. It's been an odd week work wise with a number of projects coming to a head: a grant that we are closing up next Friday and are in old-style Wheel of Fortune spend down mode on, and a conference paper for the Chicago meeting in Labor Day. The big frustration at work has been (as regular readers know) the move: they moved our offices two months ago, and only yesterday did we get bookcases. Internet access (and with it not just email, but access to Lexis as well as the printer)? What are you, a whiner? Why do you need that? What is bugging me though is that with less than a month till the kiddies return and our new classrooms not only don't have blackboards or furniture, they don't even have gawd-damn CLOCKS in them! So, I politely informed the dean's office that either way my classes are going to meet there as scheduled, and they can certainly expect several score angry parents calling wondering why they are forking out 25 large for a school that won't provide, oh, I don't know, CHALK to its effing professors. Sheesh.
Yeah, I know, I'm whining, but I had to get that out.
The big news around here, though, is that we are publicly announcing that Llama 4.0 is due in early February. Right now, Llama 4.0's code name is "Thumblina," but I have put down on the name list so far "Calvin Wesley [Llamabutcher], Henry Knox [Llamabutcher], and Hugo Lafayette [Llamabutcher] [Llama 2.0's name is John Marshall [Llamabutcher] btw]. So any ideas and suggestions, let me know--I'll put them on the list.
Robbo is the godfather of Llama 3.0 [her code name was "smidgel"], and she's been a handful in a very good way as of late. She has a pretty wicked sense of humor, and is getting to be quite skilled in getting her eldest sister [code named "tildy"] in trouble---all traits that I look for in twenty month old.
Last, one link this morning: Sheila is back from vacation and has a nostalgic link to Fenway Park, noting that "I haven't been to Fenway in years. Now that is just not right." Unfortunately, I went back to Fenway after not having been there for about eight or nine years. It was Labor Day weekend two years ago, and they were playing the Yankees: I literally bought the last three standing room tickets before they ran out. I went with my older brother, who is a huge Sox fan, and my department chair, who had never been [and who has a bit of a thing for Derek Jeter]. She had a great time as we were able to cadge seats in the front row by the 9th, as the Yanks pounded the crap out of the Sawx. Now, I know I'm speaking heresy here, and I do have a watercolor of the Citgo sign seen from the Kenmore Square roofline in my office, but the thing I wasn't prepared for on returning was, well, the stink: that combination of piss, puke and beer that permeates the exterior of Fenway. I mean, it's called pressure washing and bleach, Mr. Henry: look into it. I've been to quite a few ballparks over the past couple of years (yes, Mr. Dean, it's a complete coincidence that the conferences I attend are in baseball cities!) and let me tell you, Fenway was the worst. When you are in your seat, it's fine, but the bathrooms remind me well of Hobbes' chapter in the Leviathan on the state of nature. And the whole "Yankees Suck!" culture that pervades the place: I hate to say it, but the Red Sox nation are perilously in danger of becoming the French of American professional sports: haughty, arrogant, tied to an antiquated facility, not having won since 1815, and continually beaten upon by their ancient and mortal enemies. I'm not going so far as to draw a Rudy Guliani/Winston Churchill parallel here, nor am I saying that Nomar and deGaulle would have been buds, but I mean it's gotten far out of hand.
I love Fenway---but to me it's the Fenway of Yaz and Fisk, Lynn and Rice, the Fenway where you could have an aging Johnny Pesky standing behind you in the concession line, not the place that it has become.
First of all, I'd like to thank Robbo for holding down the shop this week: for the most part, I've been missing in action in a sort of action-packed lazy summer sort of way. I've been doing primary driving/minding duties for swimming practice/meets/lessons this week for the kids, and that's eaten up the time I've been using for fooling around in the basement kingdom. It's been an odd week work wise with a number of projects coming to a head: a grant that we are closing up next Friday and are in old-style Wheel of Fortune spend down mode on, and a conference paper for the Chicago meeting in Labor Day. The big frustration at work has been (as regular readers know) the move: they moved our offices two months ago, and only yesterday did we get bookcases. Internet access (and with it not just email, but access to Lexis as well as the printer)? What are you, a whiner? Why do you need that? What is bugging me though is that with less than a month till the kiddies return and our new classrooms not only don't have blackboards or furniture, they don't even have gawd-damn CLOCKS in them! So, I politely informed the dean's office that either way my classes are going to meet there as scheduled, and they can certainly expect several score angry parents calling wondering why they are forking out 25 large for a school that won't provide, oh, I don't know, CHALK to its effing professors. Sheesh.
Yeah, I know, I'm whining, but I had to get that out.
The big news around here, though, is that we are publicly announcing that Llama 4.0 is due in early February. Right now, Llama 4.0's code name is "Thumblina," but I have put down on the name list so far "Calvin Wesley [Llamabutcher], Henry Knox [Llamabutcher], and Hugo Lafayette [Llamabutcher] [Llama 2.0's name is John Marshall [Llamabutcher] btw]. So any ideas and suggestions, let me know--I'll put them on the list.
Robbo is the godfather of Llama 3.0 [her code name was "smidgel"], and she's been a handful in a very good way as of late. She has a pretty wicked sense of humor, and is getting to be quite skilled in getting her eldest sister [code named "tildy"] in trouble---all traits that I look for in twenty month old.
Last, one link this morning: Sheila is back from vacation and has a nostalgic link to Fenway Park, noting that "I haven't been to Fenway in years. Now that is just not right." Unfortunately, I went back to Fenway after not having been there for about eight or nine years. It was Labor Day weekend two years ago, and they were playing the Yankees: I literally bought the last three standing room tickets before they ran out. I went with my older brother, who is a huge Sox fan, and my department chair, who had never been [and who has a bit of a thing for Derek Jeter]. She had a great time as we were able to cadge seats in the front row by the 9th, as the Yanks pounded the crap out of the Sawx. Now, I know I'm speaking heresy here, and I do have a watercolor of the Citgo sign seen from the Kenmore Square roofline in my office, but the thing I wasn't prepared for on returning was, well, the stink: that combination of piss, puke and beer that permeates the exterior of Fenway. I mean, it's called pressure washing and bleach, Mr. Henry: look into it. I've been to quite a few ballparks over the past couple of years (yes, Mr. Dean, it's a complete coincidence that the conferences I attend are in baseball cities!) and let me tell you, Fenway was the worst. When you are in your seat, it's fine, but the bathrooms remind me well of Hobbes' chapter in the Leviathan on the state of nature. And the whole "Yankees Suck!" culture that pervades the place: I hate to say it, but the Red Sox nation are perilously in danger of becoming the French of American professional sports: haughty, arrogant, tied to an antiquated facility, not having won since 1815, and continually beaten upon by their ancient and mortal enemies. I'm not going so far as to draw a Rudy Guliani/Winston Churchill parallel here, nor am I saying that Nomar and deGaulle would have been buds, but I mean it's gotten far out of hand.
I love Fenway---but to me it's the Fenway of Yaz and Fisk, Lynn and Rice, the Fenway where you could have an aging Johnny Pesky standing behind you in the concession line, not the place that it has become.
Yes, It's Another List
Sorry, I just can't resist these things. Want weighty analysis all the time? Go read George Will.
Anyway, here we go:
35 Things
1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR BEDROOM WALLS? Sort of goldenrod with white trim.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Christopher Hibbert's George III. Have I mentioned how much I love the Georgian Era?
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? An abstract flower in pastels drawn by my oldest girl.
4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Diplomacy. Best. Board. Game. Ever.
5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Down East, at the moment, because we have a house up there. I really read very few mags these days, even the artsy or political ones. No time.
6. FAVORITE SMELL? Fresh-cut grass.
7. FAVORITE COLOR? Navy blue.
8. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR? Olive green.
9. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE PICKS UP? At home, eight. It discourages people who really don't have anything important to say.
10. MOST IMPORTANT MATERIAL THING IN MY LIFE? Material? Our house, I suppose. We love it.
11. FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM? I really don't like ice cream.
12. DO YOU BREAK THE SPEED LIMIT DAILY? Almost constantly would be more like it.
13. DO YOU HAVE A STUFFED ANIMAL IN YOUR ROOM SOMEWHERE? With three little girls in the house there is a constant menagerie cycling in and out of our room.
14. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? I love them althought they still frighten me.
15. FAVORITE DRINK? Island single malts. Vodka martini with a twist. Dry sherry.
16. WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY? January.
17. FAVORITE VEGETABLES? Not a big veggie fan but I do love artichokes. Ever seen the actual plant? Downright prehistoric looking.
18. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Imperial Arbiter of Taste.
19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Anything but black.
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yes.
21. TOP THREE FAVORITE MOVIES (IN ORDER)? Uh.....I can't rank them. Three of my favorites would be Holiday, The Good The Bad and the Ugly and The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, if that helps.
22. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? I don't know. I've developed my own personal fingering system. It works well enough and I don't have to look at the keyboard.
23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Whatever the cats deem fit to put there.
24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 9.
25. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH ON TV & IN PERSON? Golf, baseball and football. I don't give a flying rat's patooie about basketball.
26. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR? Heights.
27. FAVORITE CD OF ALL TIME & RIGHT NOW? Another impossible question. Playing in the background at the moment is a collection of Henry Purcell's "Ayres for the Theatre" performed by the Parley of Instruments under Peter Holman. In my car is a "Best Of" Mary Chapin Carpenter.
28. FAVORITE TV SHOW OF ALL TIME & RIGHT NOW? Fawlty Towers, all time. The Simpsons, currently. I hardly ever watch anything else other than movies and the Weather Channel.
29. HAMBURGERS OR HOT DOGS? Hamburgers, definitely.
30. THE COOLEST PLACES YOU'VE EVER BEEN? Katmai National Park in Alaska. I've been there several times fly-fishing with my father.
31. WHAT WALLPAPER AND/OR SCREENSAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW? A photo of the Colonnade at Washington & Lee University.
32. DOES MCDONALD'S SKIMP ON YOUR FRIES & DO YOU CARE? A counter guy tried it once. They buried him at dusk.
33. FAVORITE CHAIN RESTAURANT(s)? Clyde's is pretty good if you're in the D.C. area. But if you really want to live dangerously, have a go at Ollie's Trolley. You'll come for the fries. You'll stay for the ambulance.
34. IF YOU HAVE A BOY (OR HAVE ANOTHER BOY) WHAT WOULD YOU NAME HIM? Well, he would have been another Robert (it's an old family thing).
35. IF YOU COULD LEARN TO PLAY ONE INSTRUMENT OVERNIGHT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Violin.
This is all Jen's fault.
Sorry, I just can't resist these things. Want weighty analysis all the time? Go read George Will.
Anyway, here we go:
35 Things
1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR BEDROOM WALLS? Sort of goldenrod with white trim.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Christopher Hibbert's George III. Have I mentioned how much I love the Georgian Era?
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? An abstract flower in pastels drawn by my oldest girl.
4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Diplomacy. Best. Board. Game. Ever.
5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Down East, at the moment, because we have a house up there. I really read very few mags these days, even the artsy or political ones. No time.
6. FAVORITE SMELL? Fresh-cut grass.
7. FAVORITE COLOR? Navy blue.
8. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR? Olive green.
9. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE PICKS UP? At home, eight. It discourages people who really don't have anything important to say.
10. MOST IMPORTANT MATERIAL THING IN MY LIFE? Material? Our house, I suppose. We love it.
11. FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM? I really don't like ice cream.
12. DO YOU BREAK THE SPEED LIMIT DAILY? Almost constantly would be more like it.
13. DO YOU HAVE A STUFFED ANIMAL IN YOUR ROOM SOMEWHERE? With three little girls in the house there is a constant menagerie cycling in and out of our room.
14. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? I love them althought they still frighten me.
15. FAVORITE DRINK? Island single malts. Vodka martini with a twist. Dry sherry.
16. WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY? January.
17. FAVORITE VEGETABLES? Not a big veggie fan but I do love artichokes. Ever seen the actual plant? Downright prehistoric looking.
18. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Imperial Arbiter of Taste.
19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Anything but black.
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yes.
21. TOP THREE FAVORITE MOVIES (IN ORDER)? Uh.....I can't rank them. Three of my favorites would be Holiday, The Good The Bad and the Ugly and The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, if that helps.
22. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? I don't know. I've developed my own personal fingering system. It works well enough and I don't have to look at the keyboard.
23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Whatever the cats deem fit to put there.
24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 9.
25. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH ON TV & IN PERSON? Golf, baseball and football. I don't give a flying rat's patooie about basketball.
26. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR? Heights.
27. FAVORITE CD OF ALL TIME & RIGHT NOW? Another impossible question. Playing in the background at the moment is a collection of Henry Purcell's "Ayres for the Theatre" performed by the Parley of Instruments under Peter Holman. In my car is a "Best Of" Mary Chapin Carpenter.
28. FAVORITE TV SHOW OF ALL TIME & RIGHT NOW? Fawlty Towers, all time. The Simpsons, currently. I hardly ever watch anything else other than movies and the Weather Channel.
29. HAMBURGERS OR HOT DOGS? Hamburgers, definitely.
30. THE COOLEST PLACES YOU'VE EVER BEEN? Katmai National Park in Alaska. I've been there several times fly-fishing with my father.
31. WHAT WALLPAPER AND/OR SCREENSAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW? A photo of the Colonnade at Washington & Lee University.
32. DOES MCDONALD'S SKIMP ON YOUR FRIES & DO YOU CARE? A counter guy tried it once. They buried him at dusk.
33. FAVORITE CHAIN RESTAURANT(s)? Clyde's is pretty good if you're in the D.C. area. But if you really want to live dangerously, have a go at Ollie's Trolley. You'll come for the fries. You'll stay for the ambulance.
34. IF YOU HAVE A BOY (OR HAVE ANOTHER BOY) WHAT WOULD YOU NAME HIM? Well, he would have been another Robert (it's an old family thing).
35. IF YOU COULD LEARN TO PLAY ONE INSTRUMENT OVERNIGHT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Violin.
This is all Jen's fault.
Llama Movie Observation
I'm probably going to go to hell for this. We popped in The Philadelphia Story last evening. As much as I like the movie, I can just...never....quite....bring myself to completely buy the Kate and Jimmy attraction. Especially with Cary standing right there.
No, I can't explain it, much less defend it, but there it is. Same feeling every time I watch the flick.
The pitchforks and torches line forms to the right.
I'm probably going to go to hell for this. We popped in The Philadelphia Story last evening. As much as I like the movie, I can just...never....quite....bring myself to completely buy the Kate and Jimmy attraction. Especially with Cary standing right there.
No, I can't explain it, much less defend it, but there it is. Same feeling every time I watch the flick.
The pitchforks and torches line forms to the right.
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Big Llama Yips!
"Dr. Rusty Shackleford and Mrs. Nancy Shackleford announce the release of the latest version of their software, RS v. 3.0."
Go on over and say "Awwwwww...."
"Dr. Rusty Shackleford and Mrs. Nancy Shackleford announce the release of the latest version of their software, RS v. 3.0."
Go on over and say "Awwwwww...."
McBergler Pantscam Update
(The wordplay on this business is an endless joy.)
Totally unscientific, of course, but the level of "chatter" among the moonbats 'round here over the continuing saga of Sandy In My Pants is spiking pretty hard. If that's any indication of their concern over the potential damage of the story, I'd say they're pretty scared.
Oh, by the way, the meme o' the moment is that Karl Rove orchestrated the timing of the whole thing.
(The wordplay on this business is an endless joy.)
Totally unscientific, of course, but the level of "chatter" among the moonbats 'round here over the continuing saga of Sandy In My Pants is spiking pretty hard. If that's any indication of their concern over the potential damage of the story, I'd say they're pretty scared.
Oh, by the way, the meme o' the moment is that Karl Rove orchestrated the timing of the whole thing.
Speaking of Culture.....
I've started in on Christopher Hibbert's very readable biography of George III.
You want some worthwhile culture?
Imagine that you're the one backing the formation of a Royal Academy of Art and you've got to choose a president from among a powerhouse bench that includes Joshua Reynolds, Benjamin West and Thomas Gainsborough.
Imagine that you walk into one of the libraries at Buck House and find yourself in a literary discussion with James Boswell.
Imagine that your wife takes harpsichord lessons from J. C. Bach and that a young W.A. Mozart comes to play for you. Later on you personally ask Franz Joseph Haydn to consider relocating permanently to London.
That, my friends, is culture!
I've started in on Christopher Hibbert's very readable biography of George III.
You want some worthwhile culture?
Imagine that you're the one backing the formation of a Royal Academy of Art and you've got to choose a president from among a powerhouse bench that includes Joshua Reynolds, Benjamin West and Thomas Gainsborough.
Imagine that you walk into one of the libraries at Buck House and find yourself in a literary discussion with James Boswell.
Imagine that your wife takes harpsichord lessons from J. C. Bach and that a young W.A. Mozart comes to play for you. Later on you personally ask Franz Joseph Haydn to consider relocating permanently to London.
That, my friends, is culture!
Fanned Out
Ah, all my cultural pretensions have been exploded for the empty hypocrisies that they are! I've not read a single one of the Living Library's 50 Essential Contemporary Reads. In fact, the only author on the list I've read is Vonnegut, and even there I didn't get beyond Cat's Cradle.
I won't even bother to post the list - follow the link over to Sheila's if you want to see it.
As you might gather, I don't really care very much about contemporary fiction.
Ah, all my cultural pretensions have been exploded for the empty hypocrisies that they are! I've not read a single one of the Living Library's 50 Essential Contemporary Reads. In fact, the only author on the list I've read is Vonnegut, and even there I didn't get beyond Cat's Cradle.
I won't even bother to post the list - follow the link over to Sheila's if you want to see it.
As you might gather, I don't really care very much about contemporary fiction.
Crush Watch
The Cranky Neocon is still besotted with his lily of the Great White North.
Money quote:
Dude, that's so true! And beautiful! Mind if I borrow it?
The Cranky Neocon is still besotted with his lily of the Great White North.
Money quote:
She has helped me remember that politics, though absorbing and important, should not define our relationships with other people.
Dude, that's so true! And beautiful! Mind if I borrow it?
That's No Moon, It's A Space Station!
This whole Sandy Berger business appears to be growing legs. Glenn has a round up of the latest that suggests this wasn't simply one isolated case of absent-mindedly strolling off with some notes. And apparently it wasn't just a few pieces of notebook paper either. Word is that we're talking something like 15 to 30 pages at a go. Multiple times. Extra-special secret stuff. Go read all the links.
In the meantime, the outstanding question remains WTF?
Of course, the Donks are in full Spin Cycle. Berger just forgot what he was doing. Berger was cold. Berger was under too much strain from years of Republican mean-spiritedness. And who leaked all this? And why now? Veeeeeery suspicious, no? (And what's with all that Bubba Laughter in the background, btw?)
True to form, the media are in full pay-no-attention-to-the-man-in-the-60-inch-waist-pants mode. WaPo? Buried at the bottom of the page. CNN? Not even there anymore. MSNBC? It's all a Shrimpy McShrubHitler plot and there was no sock insertion, dammit!
Personally, I'm beginning to come around to the view that Joe Wilson spilled the beans. Joe who, you ask? 'Zactly.
UPDATE: The Commissar versifies. I always suspected Dr. Seuss was a communist.
This whole Sandy Berger business appears to be growing legs. Glenn has a round up of the latest that suggests this wasn't simply one isolated case of absent-mindedly strolling off with some notes. And apparently it wasn't just a few pieces of notebook paper either. Word is that we're talking something like 15 to 30 pages at a go. Multiple times. Extra-special secret stuff. Go read all the links.
In the meantime, the outstanding question remains WTF?
Of course, the Donks are in full Spin Cycle. Berger just forgot what he was doing. Berger was cold. Berger was under too much strain from years of Republican mean-spiritedness. And who leaked all this? And why now? Veeeeeery suspicious, no? (And what's with all that Bubba Laughter in the background, btw?)
True to form, the media are in full pay-no-attention-to-the-man-in-the-60-inch-waist-pants mode. WaPo? Buried at the bottom of the page. CNN? Not even there anymore. MSNBC? It's all a Shrimpy McShrubHitler plot and there was no sock insertion, dammit!
Personally, I'm beginning to come around to the view that Joe Wilson spilled the beans. Joe who, you ask? 'Zactly.
UPDATE: The Commissar versifies. I always suspected Dr. Seuss was a communist.
Wake the Kids and Phone The Neighbors!
Wow, we Llamas have finally evolved to our true biological destiny, becoming Large Mammals in the TTLB Ecosystem!
Given the gonzo way in which links seem to come and go, we'll probably wake up as amoebae tomorrow, but I'm gonna wallow in this one while I can.
And, of course, extend huge Llama Yips! to everyone out there for your continued support. What is the proper salute for this one? Nine Yips!? Yes, I think that's right:
YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP!
Wow, we Llamas have finally evolved to our true biological destiny, becoming Large Mammals in the TTLB Ecosystem!
Given the gonzo way in which links seem to come and go, we'll probably wake up as amoebae tomorrow, but I'm gonna wallow in this one while I can.
And, of course, extend huge Llama Yips! to everyone out there for your continued support. What is the proper salute for this one? Nine Yips!? Yes, I think that's right:
YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP!
Damned If You Do.....
I meant to link Rich Lowry's piece about the anti-Bush zealots yesterday. Listening to one of our local moonbats outside my office just now ranting about Dubya reminded me of it again.
Go read. Rich is right. Bush could discover the Grail tomorrow and the immediate reaction from the Left would be that his actions were insensitive to Jews and Muslims.
(BTW, this is what I've been refering to as the Dark Side of late - the blind, reflexive hatred embraced by the Left. In the end, I've a sneaking suspicion that this is going to be the undoing of the Donks in November, especially if Kerry lets himself get seduced. He's not completely there yet, but he's sliding pretty fast.)
I meant to link Rich Lowry's piece about the anti-Bush zealots yesterday. Listening to one of our local moonbats outside my office just now ranting about Dubya reminded me of it again.
Go read. Rich is right. Bush could discover the Grail tomorrow and the immediate reaction from the Left would be that his actions were insensitive to Jews and Muslims.
(BTW, this is what I've been refering to as the Dark Side of late - the blind, reflexive hatred embraced by the Left. In the end, I've a sneaking suspicion that this is going to be the undoing of the Donks in November, especially if Kerry lets himself get seduced. He's not completely there yet, but he's sliding pretty fast.)
Deconstruct This!
Gideon Lewis-Kraus goes on a Modern Language Association Turkey Shoot, however inadvertently. As much as I love literature, I never ever had any serious interest in becoming an English professor. This article pretty much sums up why.
It's longish, so maybe you should save it for lunch. In the meantime, Fugio, from whom we got the link, has the, er, Cliffnotes version.
Gideon Lewis-Kraus goes on a Modern Language Association Turkey Shoot, however inadvertently. As much as I love literature, I never ever had any serious interest in becoming an English professor. This article pretty much sums up why.
It's longish, so maybe you should save it for lunch. In the meantime, Fugio, from whom we got the link, has the, er, Cliffnotes version.
Blogging News
Some quite pleasant things have happened in the past day or so.
First, for whatever reason, the Firm's Internet blocking software is no longer stopping me from going to mu.nu sites, so I can go back to getting my daily fix of Ted, Lawren, John and Rae, among others.
Second, I wanted to note some new linkers to our humble little project:
Alan Brain has been round the shop lately. You probably already know him from his good work over at the Command Post. His own site from Down Under frequently contains posts about technical computer stuff that make me feel a little like Mr. L. D. Gumby. (How can I resist saying it - "My Brain hurts!")
The Pamphleteer also picked us up. This site, as its name implies, gets it - Blogs are today's equivalent of the 18th Century pamphlet. I love it when history comes full circle.
Also, check out The Cabarfeidh Pages, run by David Terron, a former Queen's Highlander. Mr. Terron looks to me to be the sort of fellah who you could count on if you ever got into a fight in the back alley, as my old crew coach used to say. Scots Wha Hae!
Some quite pleasant things have happened in the past day or so.
First, for whatever reason, the Firm's Internet blocking software is no longer stopping me from going to mu.nu sites, so I can go back to getting my daily fix of Ted, Lawren, John and Rae, among others.
Second, I wanted to note some new linkers to our humble little project:
Alan Brain has been round the shop lately. You probably already know him from his good work over at the Command Post. His own site from Down Under frequently contains posts about technical computer stuff that make me feel a little like Mr. L. D. Gumby. (How can I resist saying it - "My Brain hurts!")
The Pamphleteer also picked us up. This site, as its name implies, gets it - Blogs are today's equivalent of the 18th Century pamphlet. I love it when history comes full circle.
Also, check out The Cabarfeidh Pages, run by David Terron, a former Queen's Highlander. Mr. Terron looks to me to be the sort of fellah who you could count on if you ever got into a fight in the back alley, as my old crew coach used to say. Scots Wha Hae!
Gratuitous Domestic Post In Lieu Of Random Commuter Thought
My four year old is an interesting piece of work. In general, she's extremely sunny and outgoing. But you're never quite sure what she's going to say next. This morning:
She: Daddy, I lost my laugh.
Me: You lost what?
She: My laugh. I can't find it anywhere.
Me: Why, that's too bad. How did you lose it?
She: I don't know. Maybe it will come back tomorrow.
Me: Have you looked for it?
She: No. I think it will come back tomorrow.
Me: Well, why wait? I think we should look for it right now. How about.....HERE!
(Vigorous tickling ensues)
She: (Amidst hard laughs) I...don't...know...if....this...is....mine......
Me: Oh, I think it is.
She: (Still laughing and now hiccuping) Well....you're....right......But Dad-DEE! (hic) Now I (hic) have the (hic) hiccups!
Me: (Seinfeld-like) That's a shame.
My four year old is an interesting piece of work. In general, she's extremely sunny and outgoing. But you're never quite sure what she's going to say next. This morning:
She: Daddy, I lost my laugh.
Me: You lost what?
She: My laugh. I can't find it anywhere.
Me: Why, that's too bad. How did you lose it?
She: I don't know. Maybe it will come back tomorrow.
Me: Have you looked for it?
She: No. I think it will come back tomorrow.
Me: Well, why wait? I think we should look for it right now. How about.....HERE!
(Vigorous tickling ensues)
She: (Amidst hard laughs) I...don't...know...if....this...is....mine......
Me: Oh, I think it is.
She: (Still laughing and now hiccuping) Well....you're....right......But Dad-DEE! (hic) Now I (hic) have the (hic) hiccups!
Me: (Seinfeld-like) That's a shame.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
"Because Who The Hell Is Going To Check For Top Secret Documents Down The Front Of A Three Hundred Pound Guy's Pants?"-Gate Update
The Paper Blowfish steps down as Kerry advisor.
All in the name of truth and to keep those mean ol' Republicans from being unfair, of course.
Yips! to Wizbang.
The Paper Blowfish steps down as Kerry advisor.
All in the name of truth and to keep those mean ol' Republicans from being unfair, of course.
Yips! to Wizbang.
Ah, Youth!
What better way to celebrate your 23rd birthday than to become a human nacho?
Reading this caused me to do some furious mental arithmetic to try and figure out what I was doing on my own 23rd. If it was indeed 1988, then that was the night that a group of us, led by a normally respectable Member of Parliament, got chucked out of a club in London's Soho. I have a recollection of jazz and drinks and of a suddenly large amount of broken glass.
But no nacho cheese.
Guess you can't do everything.
What better way to celebrate your 23rd birthday than to become a human nacho?
Reading this caused me to do some furious mental arithmetic to try and figure out what I was doing on my own 23rd. If it was indeed 1988, then that was the night that a group of us, led by a normally respectable Member of Parliament, got chucked out of a club in London's Soho. I have a recollection of jazz and drinks and of a suddenly large amount of broken glass.
But no nacho cheese.
Guess you can't do everything.
Top Ten Names For The Sandy Berger Scandal
Reading Captain Ed's posts about Trousergate got me thinking that we really need some good names for this one. So here goes:
10. "Eyes-Only"-Behind My Zipper-Gate
9. "Why, yes, it is a smoking gun!"-Gate
8. Lock-Boxer-Gate
7. "No, I'm just excited by National Security"-Gate
6. Ran-Out-Of-Toilet-Paper-Gate
5. "I was cold and trying to avoid that shrinkage thing" - Gate
4. "Hillary and I were playing 'Missing Rose Law Firm File'"-Gate
3. Afraid-of-Pants-Biting Raccoons-Gate
2. "Yes, that's what I think with"-Gate
aaaaand.....
1. Pantscam
UPDATE: Thanks Michele! We're not worthy.
Reading Captain Ed's posts about Trousergate got me thinking that we really need some good names for this one. So here goes:
10. "Eyes-Only"-Behind My Zipper-Gate
9. "Why, yes, it is a smoking gun!"-Gate
8. Lock-Boxer-Gate
7. "No, I'm just excited by National Security"-Gate
6. Ran-Out-Of-Toilet-Paper-Gate
5. "I was cold and trying to avoid that shrinkage thing" - Gate
4. "Hillary and I were playing 'Missing Rose Law Firm File'"-Gate
3. Afraid-of-Pants-Biting Raccoons-Gate
2. "Yes, that's what I think with"-Gate
aaaaand.....
1. Pantscam
UPDATE: Thanks Michele! We're not worthy.
Gratuitous Gardening Post
All of the fall garden catelogues showed up at my house yesterday. Park Seed is offering a jasmine that it claims can survive this far north. Woo Hoo!
All of the fall garden catelogues showed up at my house yesterday. Park Seed is offering a jasmine that it claims can survive this far north. Woo Hoo!
[Insert Your Own Pants Joke Here]
I don't know where, if anywhere, this is going, but Glenn has the round-up on the breaking story of Sandy Berger stashing secret national security docs in his undies. (Yes, that Sandy Berger. As in former Clinton National Security Advisor and soon to be ex-chief foreign policy advisor to John Kerry.)
Why do I smell a Steve-O photoshop special coming?
UPDATE: Will Collier has a further round-up of pants jokes, plus some more serious and interesting thoughts on the rules regarding the removal of top secret documents from restricted areas. (Bottom line - you can't.)
FURTHER UPDATE: Hugh happened to be on the Today Show this morning and has first hand analysis of David Gergen's efforts to flak for Berger. Read this. As of yet, I don't have any particular reason to believe that this was anything more than one man doing something criminally stupid, so I'm not comfortable with the idea of smearing the entire Lib Establishment with it. I say, as of yet. Also, Hugh is right about one thing: If it had been Condi slipping docs into her blouse, the Press would have had her head stuck on a pike outside the White House before sunrise.
YIPS from Steve: Obviously, the CIA has been shopping at Gizmodo, where they bought this item for Mr. Berger:
That's right, its the "Brief Safe" available for $9.00 from Shomer-Tec online.
(Editorial note: I very specifically did NOT look at any other blogs this morning before posting this joke, in case someone else has already done it. We are many things, we llamas, but derivative is not one of them. Indeed.)
UPDATE PART DEUX:
Wait--don't order now! Llamabutcher High-tec--a wholly owned subsidiary of Llamabutcher Industries, now offers its exclusive "Sandy Berger CIA Brief Safe"
I don't know where, if anywhere, this is going, but Glenn has the round-up on the breaking story of Sandy Berger stashing secret national security docs in his undies. (Yes, that Sandy Berger. As in former Clinton National Security Advisor and soon to be ex-chief foreign policy advisor to John Kerry.)
Why do I smell a Steve-O photoshop special coming?
UPDATE: Will Collier has a further round-up of pants jokes, plus some more serious and interesting thoughts on the rules regarding the removal of top secret documents from restricted areas. (Bottom line - you can't.)
FURTHER UPDATE: Hugh happened to be on the Today Show this morning and has first hand analysis of David Gergen's efforts to flak for Berger. Read this. As of yet, I don't have any particular reason to believe that this was anything more than one man doing something criminally stupid, so I'm not comfortable with the idea of smearing the entire Lib Establishment with it. I say, as of yet. Also, Hugh is right about one thing: If it had been Condi slipping docs into her blouse, the Press would have had her head stuck on a pike outside the White House before sunrise.
YIPS from Steve: Obviously, the CIA has been shopping at Gizmodo, where they bought this item for Mr. Berger:
That's right, its the "Brief Safe" available for $9.00 from Shomer-Tec online.
(Editorial note: I very specifically did NOT look at any other blogs this morning before posting this joke, in case someone else has already done it. We are many things, we llamas, but derivative is not one of them. Indeed.)
UPDATE PART DEUX:
Wait--don't order now! Llamabutcher High-tec--a wholly owned subsidiary of Llamabutcher Industries, now offers its exclusive "Sandy Berger CIA Brief Safe"
Monday, July 19, 2004
The Llamas Strike Back
INDCent Bill is running a "stick it to Salon for supporting Joe Wilson" contest (not the exact title, but you get the drift).
Here's our entry:
Not exactly subtle, but then again, we are the Llamabutchers....
INDCent Bill is running a "stick it to Salon for supporting Joe Wilson" contest (not the exact title, but you get the drift).
Here's our entry:
Not exactly subtle, but then again, we are the Llamabutchers....
Your Tuition Money At Work
U Penn is wrestling with the weighty issue of transgendered-friendly potties (no, I don't really know what that means either) as part of its effort to abolish that eviiiil biological conspiracy known as the male/female dichotomy.
This is so 20th Century. I spent all four of my years at the Glorious People's Soviet of Middletown on co-ed halls that also featured co-ed bathrooms. Damn near everything you can imagine in terms of male, female, stuck somewhere in the middle and none of the above went through there at one point or another. (Buh-lieve me, you didn't miss anything. Once you get used to the idea of Youthful Self-absorption, which is basically all this is, its various manifestations get pretty old pretty fast.)
I also see from the same article that the school at least is resisting efforts to throw it into full-scale Mao-Mao-induced panic mode over dormroom assignment policies. (Like that has the slightest bearing on where kids actually end up sleeping. )
In other words, if you've got some kind of "special issue" about where you get put, go talk to the Housing folks and they'll try to work something out. Sounds reasonable to me.
But we're not just talkin' logistics here. (If only it were that simple!) Nope - the Reeducation Squads are hard at work as well, among both the inmates and the wardens:
See, it's no longer even enough just to give kids a lot of slack to work through whatever "issues" they have, real or imagined. Instead, it's all about trying to dragoon the rest of the student body into open-armed, smiley-faced embracing of anything and everything that comes down the pike. All in the name of Diversity, of course.
Meanwhile time, money and administration resources are being wasted on this silliness instead of on important things like, you know, formal education. I'm sure parents are comforted in the knowledge that they're shelling out 50K plus per year to bankroll all of this.
Yips to Fox News.
U Penn is wrestling with the weighty issue of transgendered-friendly potties (no, I don't really know what that means either) as part of its effort to abolish that eviiiil biological conspiracy known as the male/female dichotomy.
This is so 20th Century. I spent all four of my years at the Glorious People's Soviet of Middletown on co-ed halls that also featured co-ed bathrooms. Damn near everything you can imagine in terms of male, female, stuck somewhere in the middle and none of the above went through there at one point or another. (Buh-lieve me, you didn't miss anything. Once you get used to the idea of Youthful Self-absorption, which is basically all this is, its various manifestations get pretty old pretty fast.)
I also see from the same article that the school at least is resisting efforts to throw it into full-scale Mao-Mao-induced panic mode over dormroom assignment policies. (Like that has the slightest bearing on where kids actually end up sleeping. )
The University deals with arising housing issues on a case-by-case basis. And, with each case, numerous difficult-to-resolve questions arise: Should transgender students live in singles? If they live with a roommate, should transgender students live with a roommate of his or her biological gender or the gender with which he identifies? How should the roommate be consulted and should the Housing search for a roommate who consents to live with a transgender student?
Last winter, the Undergraduate Assembly passed a proposal that supported coeducational housing, but the administration has not altered the current policy.
"We want [the housing policy] to continue to provide a sensitive response to individual students who bring their particular concerns and needs to the housing system," Conn said. "To the best of my knowledge, it has proven to be a satisfactory way of operating the housing system over the past several years."
In other words, if you've got some kind of "special issue" about where you get put, go talk to the Housing folks and they'll try to work something out. Sounds reasonable to me.
But we're not just talkin' logistics here. (If only it were that simple!) Nope - the Reeducation Squads are hard at work as well, among both the inmates and the wardens:
But it is more than policy change that will make for gender identity non-discrimination to be felt on a University-wide scale; awareness on the issue of gender identity needs to be raised across the whole community, according to both the University and LGBT leaders.
"A lot of it isn't policy change. A lot of it must be attitude change within the students," said College junior and LGBT activist Phil Cochetti. "I would like to see people change their attitude, so they realize there are people who are undergoing challenges on the issues of gender identity."
See, it's no longer even enough just to give kids a lot of slack to work through whatever "issues" they have, real or imagined. Instead, it's all about trying to dragoon the rest of the student body into open-armed, smiley-faced embracing of anything and everything that comes down the pike. All in the name of Diversity, of course.
Meanwhile time, money and administration resources are being wasted on this silliness instead of on important things like, you know, formal education. I'm sure parents are comforted in the knowledge that they're shelling out 50K plus per year to bankroll all of this.
Yips to Fox News.
Gratuitous Church Posting - Update
A few of you may remember that your humble Llama host was supposed to lead a Bible discussion group yesterday. Well, so much for that. It wasn't until we were about half way through the 10 o'clock Eucharist that it dawned on me that the group was not supposed to meet after that service, but instead had met at 8:45 - prior to the service. D'oh! The summer schedule fouls everything up and I had simply failed to realize it.
Oh, well.
I did notice, however, that our brand new Deacon, fresh out of the packing crate sent over from the Seminary, lifted some of my observations on the texts in question and plugged them into his sermon. I haven't decided yet whether I should be flattered or disgruntled that he's, em, "borrowing" my material.....
A few of you may remember that your humble Llama host was supposed to lead a Bible discussion group yesterday. Well, so much for that. It wasn't until we were about half way through the 10 o'clock Eucharist that it dawned on me that the group was not supposed to meet after that service, but instead had met at 8:45 - prior to the service. D'oh! The summer schedule fouls everything up and I had simply failed to realize it.
Oh, well.
I did notice, however, that our brand new Deacon, fresh out of the packing crate sent over from the Seminary, lifted some of my observations on the texts in question and plugged them into his sermon. I haven't decided yet whether I should be flattered or disgruntled that he's, em, "borrowing" my material.....
Cartoon Kwazies
Terry Teachout relays a humorous New Yorker cartoon that is the favorite of one of his art-fart friends (and I mean that in the nicest way) who just had a baby.
I can top that. As the parents of three very energetic little girls, we thought it appropriate to hang this one in the downstairs loo.
Terry Teachout relays a humorous New Yorker cartoon that is the favorite of one of his art-fart friends (and I mean that in the nicest way) who just had a baby.
I can top that. As the parents of three very energetic little girls, we thought it appropriate to hang this one in the downstairs loo.
Monday Meme Time!
Brain still shaking off the weekend, so here we go:
1. Do you prefer to be out in the sun or in the shade? Shade. We hates the Yellow Face.
2. Regarding the walls in your house, do you prefer neutral colors or bright colors? We go for bright. To give you an idea, here's the downstairs scheme: Living room is hunt red above the chair-rail, white below. Hallway is goldenrod-ish yellow. Dining room is a sort of apple green above the chair-rail, white below. The library is, well, Hunter green with the insides of the bookcases done in a dull red. And the Missus is in the midst of coating the kitchen with a kind of pale yellow. All trim is white, except in the kitchen where it is slightly lighter than navy blue.
3. When hanging pictures on your walls, do you like things symmetric or asymmetric? What I like and what I get are not necessarily the same thing, but we try to be symmetric.
4. How about where you'd like to live; country or city? I'm a product of the South Texas ex-urbs. Growing up, I lived in a neighborhood where no lot was smaller than 2 1/2 acres. I have never got over my dislike of city living, even after having spent a year in London. And I always loathed apartments.
5. Your blog; Blogger, Blogdrive, Blog-City, or another one altogether? Scroll down for the answer. 'Course, as we're switching to mu.nu, we're also switching to Movable Type 2. something or other.
6. Email; Yahoo, Hotmail, Gmail, or other? I still don't even really know what Gmail is. We're yahoos here.
7. Air conditioning or just a fan when it's hot at night? Crank that A/C!
8. Dinner; seafood or steak? Both please. Now. Surf n Turf. Mmmmmmm.......
9. Your all-time favorite music media; CD's, cassette tapes, or vinyl (or 8-tracks)? I want to meet someone who is devoted to 8-tracks. In the meantime, CD's are the way to go at the moment.
10. When learning a new software program, do you find it easier to follow a book or an online tutorial? When doing what, now?
Yips! to the Impenetrable LDH.
Brain still shaking off the weekend, so here we go:
1. Do you prefer to be out in the sun or in the shade? Shade. We hates the Yellow Face.
2. Regarding the walls in your house, do you prefer neutral colors or bright colors? We go for bright. To give you an idea, here's the downstairs scheme: Living room is hunt red above the chair-rail, white below. Hallway is goldenrod-ish yellow. Dining room is a sort of apple green above the chair-rail, white below. The library is, well, Hunter green with the insides of the bookcases done in a dull red. And the Missus is in the midst of coating the kitchen with a kind of pale yellow. All trim is white, except in the kitchen where it is slightly lighter than navy blue.
3. When hanging pictures on your walls, do you like things symmetric or asymmetric? What I like and what I get are not necessarily the same thing, but we try to be symmetric.
4. How about where you'd like to live; country or city? I'm a product of the South Texas ex-urbs. Growing up, I lived in a neighborhood where no lot was smaller than 2 1/2 acres. I have never got over my dislike of city living, even after having spent a year in London. And I always loathed apartments.
5. Your blog; Blogger, Blogdrive, Blog-City, or another one altogether? Scroll down for the answer. 'Course, as we're switching to mu.nu, we're also switching to Movable Type 2. something or other.
6. Email; Yahoo, Hotmail, Gmail, or other? I still don't even really know what Gmail is. We're yahoos here.
7. Air conditioning or just a fan when it's hot at night? Crank that A/C!
8. Dinner; seafood or steak? Both please. Now. Surf n Turf. Mmmmmmm.......
9. Your all-time favorite music media; CD's, cassette tapes, or vinyl (or 8-tracks)? I want to meet someone who is devoted to 8-tracks. In the meantime, CD's are the way to go at the moment.
10. When learning a new software program, do you find it easier to follow a book or an online tutorial? When doing what, now?
Yips! to the Impenetrable LDH.
More Gratuitous Domestic Posting
(Yeah, yeah, so it's Monday - gimme a break)
Still no sign of the clicker to our DBS system that the girls lost a week or two ago. We've finally admitted defeat and are calling DirecTV for a replacement. Next time they do it, I've a mind to make one of them stand by the TV with a remote-controlled electric shock attached to them to serve as my personal channel changer, a la that skit* in the Light Entertainment Wars episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
On the other hand, we were able to extract the toilet paper roll holder that my two year old had thrown into the potty a few days back, thus allowing the girls to use their own damn bathroom again instead of trooping into ours.
You take what you can get.
*Opening titles: At the end of the title cut to tramps exactly as at the beginning of the show.Then cut to two twin-set-and-pearls ladies, Mrs Elizabeth III and Mrs Mock Tudor. They are in a sitting room with vulgar furnishings. By the TV, which they are watching, stands a small Arab boy (Terry G) . He has electrodes fixed to him and wires stretching from a control box held by Mrs Elizabeth III. They are watching the tramps.
(Yeah, yeah, so it's Monday - gimme a break)
Still no sign of the clicker to our DBS system that the girls lost a week or two ago. We've finally admitted defeat and are calling DirecTV for a replacement. Next time they do it, I've a mind to make one of them stand by the TV with a remote-controlled electric shock attached to them to serve as my personal channel changer, a la that skit* in the Light Entertainment Wars episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.
On the other hand, we were able to extract the toilet paper roll holder that my two year old had thrown into the potty a few days back, thus allowing the girls to use their own damn bathroom again instead of trooping into ours.
You take what you can get.
*Opening titles: At the end of the title cut to tramps exactly as at the beginning of the show.Then cut to two twin-set-and-pearls ladies, Mrs Elizabeth III and Mrs Mock Tudor. They are in a sitting room with vulgar furnishings. By the TV, which they are watching, stands a small Arab boy (Terry G) . He has electrodes fixed to him and wires stretching from a control box held by Mrs Elizabeth III. They are watching the tramps.
Der Ah-nuld
This is why I love it when the occassional non-politico decides to run for office - Jesse Ventura was another great example - and why I was disappointed when Mike Ditka decided not to go for the Senatorial seat from Illinois. Nothing like a little un-p.c. cage-rattling to mix things up a bit!
The punch line is that the predictable whining from State Sen. Sheila Kuehl does nothing but enhance Ah-nuld's Terminator image. You're damn right he's not going to issue a retraction or apology.
Heh, as they say, indeed.
This is why I love it when the occassional non-politico decides to run for office - Jesse Ventura was another great example - and why I was disappointed when Mike Ditka decided not to go for the Senatorial seat from Illinois. Nothing like a little un-p.c. cage-rattling to mix things up a bit!
The punch line is that the predictable whining from State Sen. Sheila Kuehl does nothing but enhance Ah-nuld's Terminator image. You're damn right he's not going to issue a retraction or apology.
Heh, as they say, indeed.
Ye Musickal Poste
A.C. Douglas of Sounds & Fury roundly damns and blasts the "Historically Informed Performance" movement. I think this is too bad. Certainly there are those period instrument True Believers who are guilty as charged on all counts, including dry, hell-for-leather performances and the declaration as Truth that which is nothing more than modestly-informed guesswork. But to write off the entire field based on the excesses of the zealots is no better than accusing all "modern" performers of being closet Klemperers or Furtwanglers. As one of his later paragraphs hints, I think the post is more of an indicator of the savage competition and strong passions that dominate the world of professional performance and are a strong reason why I never had any interest whatsoever in being anything more than an amateur hack.
As for complaints about breakneck tempi and arid, nuance-challenged interpretation, well, among my listening choices over the weekend were:
- The Handel Concerti Grossi Opus 6, Nos. 5-8, performed by Trevor Pinnock and the English Concert;
- Haydn's London Symphony (No. 104), performed by Richard Hickox and Collegium Musicum 90;
- Purcell's Ode to St. Cecilia, performed by John Eliot Gardiner and the English Baroque Soloists.
- A selection of Telemann Trio Sonatas performed by Camerata Koln.
Having read the post last Friday, I tried to be as objective as possible in listening to these recordings, all of which are period instrument performances. I think you would have to be pretty driven to dismiss any of them inexpressive and inhumane.
Yips! to Jessica Duchen.
A.C. Douglas of Sounds & Fury roundly damns and blasts the "Historically Informed Performance" movement. I think this is too bad. Certainly there are those period instrument True Believers who are guilty as charged on all counts, including dry, hell-for-leather performances and the declaration as Truth that which is nothing more than modestly-informed guesswork. But to write off the entire field based on the excesses of the zealots is no better than accusing all "modern" performers of being closet Klemperers or Furtwanglers. As one of his later paragraphs hints, I think the post is more of an indicator of the savage competition and strong passions that dominate the world of professional performance and are a strong reason why I never had any interest whatsoever in being anything more than an amateur hack.
As for complaints about breakneck tempi and arid, nuance-challenged interpretation, well, among my listening choices over the weekend were:
- The Handel Concerti Grossi Opus 6, Nos. 5-8, performed by Trevor Pinnock and the English Concert;
- Haydn's London Symphony (No. 104), performed by Richard Hickox and Collegium Musicum 90;
- Purcell's Ode to St. Cecilia, performed by John Eliot Gardiner and the English Baroque Soloists.
- A selection of Telemann Trio Sonatas performed by Camerata Koln.
Having read the post last Friday, I tried to be as objective as possible in listening to these recordings, all of which are period instrument performances. I think you would have to be pretty driven to dismiss any of them inexpressive and inhumane.
Yips! to Jessica Duchen.
Google This!
Reason #35 why our brand of hodge-podge blogging is so beneficial to society. Someone came in here on the query "does okra grow in the grond". Of course it was a typo, and of course the immediate reaction to the inquiry is "as opposed to what?" But just consider what that missing "u" may have got our mystery researcher.
First, as you all know, Steve-O is Mr. Vegetable Blog around these parts. He can tell you everything you need to know about raising tomatoes, squash et al., particularly if you dwell in the Piedmont of North Central Virginia.
I, on the other hand, being Mr. Tolkien Geek, can tell you that "Grond" was, of course, the hammer of Morgoth. Later, the ram that was used by Sauron's forces to destroy the gates of Minas Tirith was also named Grond, in memory of the earlier weapon. No, I think you'd have a hard time getting a plant to take root on it.
You see? That's us Llamas - covering the waterfront so you don't have to!
Reason #35 why our brand of hodge-podge blogging is so beneficial to society. Someone came in here on the query "does okra grow in the grond". Of course it was a typo, and of course the immediate reaction to the inquiry is "as opposed to what?" But just consider what that missing "u" may have got our mystery researcher.
First, as you all know, Steve-O is Mr. Vegetable Blog around these parts. He can tell you everything you need to know about raising tomatoes, squash et al., particularly if you dwell in the Piedmont of North Central Virginia.
I, on the other hand, being Mr. Tolkien Geek, can tell you that "Grond" was, of course, the hammer of Morgoth. Later, the ram that was used by Sauron's forces to destroy the gates of Minas Tirith was also named Grond, in memory of the earlier weapon. No, I think you'd have a hard time getting a plant to take root on it.
You see? That's us Llamas - covering the waterfront so you don't have to!
Gratuitous Monday Morning Weekend Roundup
In which I carry on almost exclusively about outdoor things.....
1. So much for my faith in the local carnivore population as expressed in the post below. No sooner did I get home Friday evening and take a stroll out into the garden than I saw Sauron's junior wraith rabbit having another whack at the black-eye susans. In the classic Mr. MacGregor style, I grabbed a nearby hoe and tried to chase the little bastard down. Fruitless, of course.
He was back Saturday evening and I discovered something I hadn't realized before: this particular spawn of eviiil is small enough that he can go through the fence rather than under it. At the moment, the chicken-wire is only a skirt along the ground - the rest of the fence has holes about 2 1/2 by 4 1/2 inches in size. It stops the adult rabbits, but junior glides right through. Obviously, I'm going to have to go back and put up chicken wire all along the bottom two feet or so, but I prefer to leave that chore for cooler weather. The question is what to do in the meantime. Part of me says just to let Mr. Bunny Foo-Foo keep at it until he gets so Cartmanesque that he can't fit through the wire any more, and hope the plants survive until then. Part of me says it's time to try that rotten egg/garlic/other smelly stuff concoction that several of our blogsphere pals have recommended. Part of me says that if I swing round to WalMart and pick up a Daisy air rifle and sneak it into my study, the Missus will never know the difference. (Will you, Dear?)
Again - decisions, decisions.
2. Speaking of Man vs. Nature, I also noticed Friday that the slugs had lopped all the new buds off one of the Joe-Pye. I immediately grabbed my box of Ortho Snail-B-Gone (or whatever it is) and got to work. Saturday morning, I reveled in the sight of corpses everywhere. I must say, I take a ghoulish enjoyment in a really successful slug-slaughter. Not quite "I love the smell of napalm in the morning," but not that far off either.
3. Speaking further of Man vs. Nature, Sunday afternoon I decided to move the ol' owl decoy to another part of the fence. On picking him up, I noticed his head was not bobbling as it ought to. Jiggling it produced not bobbling, but a gang of extremely angry red wasps. I dropped the thing and ran for it. I haven't sprinted that fast in a long time and even though flapping one's hands about one's head, neck and back is not generally recognized as orthodox running style, I'm sure I'd have qualified for one of the shorter Olympic sprint events with that effort. (It turned out that the wasps had built a nest on the underside of the owl's head. When I returned armed with a tennis racket - my favorite wasp-whacking tool - they had all fled and I was able to scoop out the nest with a stick.) Note to self: move owl more often.
4. Finally, being Mr. Conscience and counting on the weather forecast, I dutifully got up early Saturday morning and spent four solid hours on a Full Monty mowing and trimming of the Butcher's yard and surrounding environs. Saturday afternoon, as the gels and I were waiting on the jeep at Jiffy Lube, I happened to catch sight of the national radar and smiled because there was a large wodge of rain in the Ohio Valley making its way in our direction. Sure enough, Sunday morning, after some preliminary sprinkles, it looked as if it was ready to unload on us.
And then, nothing. Not a sausage. By Sunday afternoon, even the clouds had dissipated, leaving it hot, muggy and rainless. I found myself, in true Basil Fawtly style, shaking my fist at the heavens and shouting, "Oh, thank you God! Thank you so bloody much!"
Hope y'all had a good weekend.
In which I carry on almost exclusively about outdoor things.....
1. So much for my faith in the local carnivore population as expressed in the post below. No sooner did I get home Friday evening and take a stroll out into the garden than I saw Sauron's junior wraith rabbit having another whack at the black-eye susans. In the classic Mr. MacGregor style, I grabbed a nearby hoe and tried to chase the little bastard down. Fruitless, of course.
He was back Saturday evening and I discovered something I hadn't realized before: this particular spawn of eviiil is small enough that he can go through the fence rather than under it. At the moment, the chicken-wire is only a skirt along the ground - the rest of the fence has holes about 2 1/2 by 4 1/2 inches in size. It stops the adult rabbits, but junior glides right through. Obviously, I'm going to have to go back and put up chicken wire all along the bottom two feet or so, but I prefer to leave that chore for cooler weather. The question is what to do in the meantime. Part of me says just to let Mr. Bunny Foo-Foo keep at it until he gets so Cartmanesque that he can't fit through the wire any more, and hope the plants survive until then. Part of me says it's time to try that rotten egg/garlic/other smelly stuff concoction that several of our blogsphere pals have recommended. Part of me says that if I swing round to WalMart and pick up a Daisy air rifle and sneak it into my study, the Missus will never know the difference. (Will you, Dear?)
Again - decisions, decisions.
2. Speaking of Man vs. Nature, I also noticed Friday that the slugs had lopped all the new buds off one of the Joe-Pye. I immediately grabbed my box of Ortho Snail-B-Gone (or whatever it is) and got to work. Saturday morning, I reveled in the sight of corpses everywhere. I must say, I take a ghoulish enjoyment in a really successful slug-slaughter. Not quite "I love the smell of napalm in the morning," but not that far off either.
3. Speaking further of Man vs. Nature, Sunday afternoon I decided to move the ol' owl decoy to another part of the fence. On picking him up, I noticed his head was not bobbling as it ought to. Jiggling it produced not bobbling, but a gang of extremely angry red wasps. I dropped the thing and ran for it. I haven't sprinted that fast in a long time and even though flapping one's hands about one's head, neck and back is not generally recognized as orthodox running style, I'm sure I'd have qualified for one of the shorter Olympic sprint events with that effort. (It turned out that the wasps had built a nest on the underside of the owl's head. When I returned armed with a tennis racket - my favorite wasp-whacking tool - they had all fled and I was able to scoop out the nest with a stick.) Note to self: move owl more often.
4. Finally, being Mr. Conscience and counting on the weather forecast, I dutifully got up early Saturday morning and spent four solid hours on a Full Monty mowing and trimming of the Butcher's yard and surrounding environs. Saturday afternoon, as the gels and I were waiting on the jeep at Jiffy Lube, I happened to catch sight of the national radar and smiled because there was a large wodge of rain in the Ohio Valley making its way in our direction. Sure enough, Sunday morning, after some preliminary sprinkles, it looked as if it was ready to unload on us.
And then, nothing. Not a sausage. By Sunday afternoon, even the clouds had dissipated, leaving it hot, muggy and rainless. I found myself, in true Basil Fawtly style, shaking my fist at the heavens and shouting, "Oh, thank you God! Thank you so bloody much!"
Hope y'all had a good weekend.
Friday, July 16, 2004
Gratuitous Llama Weekend Post
Aaaah. For once we don't have any plans for the weekend and I can concentrate on pottering around the house. The yard is about due for what we call a "Full Monty" mowing - meaning not only the yard itself, but the little meadow behind and the front ditch all get mowed and weedwhacked. I also need to poison some weeds in the garden, but that only takes ten minutes. (BTW, I haven't seen Junior Wraith Rabbit in a couple days. It might be too much to hope that one of the local foxes or owls finally got their act together, but here's keeping fingers crossed. On the other hand, there is a young six-point buck that has been loitering near the fence and eyeing my hydrangea in a very suspicious manner.)
Other than that, not much. And Sunday is supposed to be cool and rainy.
Speaking of Sunday, I have to lead a Bible Study group at Church. This is going to be hilarious - the blind leading the blind, indeed. But that's the great thing about Church volunteerism - they'll take just about anyone who's willing to show up. (Of course, as I said last week, I don't remember volunteering for this business. However, if I'm going to swill the Church's sherry at committee meetings, I shouldn't kick at returning the favor. And I don't. I had three different readings to think about this past week (Genesis 18: 1-15, Colossians 1: 21-29 and Luke 10: 38-42) and found it to be a fascinating project. I've often thought that if I ever embark on a second career way down the road, I might give serious consideration to entering Seminary.)
In the meantime, tonight is my typical movie night. I may need to pop in the Old Stand-By. I saw somewhere today (but have since forgotten where) a list of top ten worst sci-fi movie moments. Well for all the ribbing that Trek takes, this movie has a couple of the best such moments: the big scene where the Enterprise leaves space-dock (starting from the point where Kirk comes on the bridge) never fails to give me chills. And the duel between Enterprise and Reliant is a classic.
Then again, I haven't watched this in a while.
Decisions, decisions.
Aaaah. For once we don't have any plans for the weekend and I can concentrate on pottering around the house. The yard is about due for what we call a "Full Monty" mowing - meaning not only the yard itself, but the little meadow behind and the front ditch all get mowed and weedwhacked. I also need to poison some weeds in the garden, but that only takes ten minutes. (BTW, I haven't seen Junior Wraith Rabbit in a couple days. It might be too much to hope that one of the local foxes or owls finally got their act together, but here's keeping fingers crossed. On the other hand, there is a young six-point buck that has been loitering near the fence and eyeing my hydrangea in a very suspicious manner.)
Other than that, not much. And Sunday is supposed to be cool and rainy.
Speaking of Sunday, I have to lead a Bible Study group at Church. This is going to be hilarious - the blind leading the blind, indeed. But that's the great thing about Church volunteerism - they'll take just about anyone who's willing to show up. (Of course, as I said last week, I don't remember volunteering for this business. However, if I'm going to swill the Church's sherry at committee meetings, I shouldn't kick at returning the favor. And I don't. I had three different readings to think about this past week (Genesis 18: 1-15, Colossians 1: 21-29 and Luke 10: 38-42) and found it to be a fascinating project. I've often thought that if I ever embark on a second career way down the road, I might give serious consideration to entering Seminary.)
In the meantime, tonight is my typical movie night. I may need to pop in the Old Stand-By. I saw somewhere today (but have since forgotten where) a list of top ten worst sci-fi movie moments. Well for all the ribbing that Trek takes, this movie has a couple of the best such moments: the big scene where the Enterprise leaves space-dock (starting from the point where Kirk comes on the bridge) never fails to give me chills. And the duel between Enterprise and Reliant is a classic.
Then again, I haven't watched this in a while.
Decisions, decisions.
Llama PSA
You're all doing your homework for INDC Bill's Digital Brownshirt Contest, aren't you? Well?
You're all doing your homework for INDC Bill's Digital Brownshirt Contest, aren't you? Well?
I've Got A Baaaaaad Feeling About This......
I've been seeing, off and on, reports about an upcoming film version of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. As both of our loyal readers know, I am deeply suspicious of movie versions of books I hold dear and the burden is on them to prove themselves to me. So far, none have passed that bar.
Anyway, Curtis at A_SDF points to some new pictures of some of the cast members. I agree with him that Lucy doesn't look like this, but I'm more hopeful about some of the other kids.
The really good news is that apparently Nichole Kidman will not play the White Witch, as previously threatened. That means this movie has some chance of being a true recreation of Lewis' Narnia and not just some cheap Hollywood Star vehicle.
Still, I remain very skeptical......
I've been seeing, off and on, reports about an upcoming film version of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. As both of our loyal readers know, I am deeply suspicious of movie versions of books I hold dear and the burden is on them to prove themselves to me. So far, none have passed that bar.
Anyway, Curtis at A_SDF points to some new pictures of some of the cast members. I agree with him that Lucy doesn't look like this, but I'm more hopeful about some of the other kids.
The really good news is that apparently Nichole Kidman will not play the White Witch, as previously threatened. That means this movie has some chance of being a true recreation of Lewis' Narnia and not just some cheap Hollywood Star vehicle.
Still, I remain very skeptical......
Like Omigod, That Is So True!
BlondeStar. Yes, it's perfectly work-safe (alas), but hi-larious. Just dump out that coffee right now.
Yips! to Jen.
BlondeStar. Yes, it's perfectly work-safe (alas), but hi-larious. Just dump out that coffee right now.
Yips! to Jen.
Dude, This Is Freakin' Me Out Right Here
Which Gollum Twin are you?
Josh Chafetz, Jonah, and The Misspent One answer.
Um......Guys?
UPDATE: The Derb takes the test, too. Now I'm really getting worried. Sully's gonna have a field day.....
Which Gollum Twin are you?
Josh Chafetz, Jonah, and The Misspent One answer.
Um......Guys?
UPDATE: The Derb takes the test, too. Now I'm really getting worried. Sully's gonna have a field day.....
What the.........
Someone found us via google searching for "Jessica Simpson Suntan Products"....
Sorry to disapoint, dude.
But what the eff? I mean, I can understand someone finding us searching for
"INDC Bill Olsen Twins Goat Love"
or
"Jawa freak foot long donkey"
or
"Margaret Thatcher Naughty Bits pics"
or
"Condi dump Cheney Veep Bush Knights Templar Illuminati Plot Eye on one dollar bill is secret spying device mike moore krispy kreme butt crack dead israeli children in pie hole whatever happened to the hansen brothers um bop annoying CIA mind control Roosevelt Knew Pearl Harbor arranged by Prescott Bush did I mention the Illuminati Skull and Bones hey did you ever notice how both candidates were in skull and bones it's a plot dammit to deprive us of our tofu whale oil is much more clean and efficient to burn in your toyata prius piazza threw the all star game on the commands of his dark sith masters at halliburton for the love of gawd its time for a break i'm taking the weekend off see you monday!"
Plus, coming monday, my very special "HILLARY/VOLDEMORT '08 TWO DARK WIZARDS FOR AMERICA!" bumper stickers....
Someone found us via google searching for "Jessica Simpson Suntan Products"....
Sorry to disapoint, dude.
But what the eff? I mean, I can understand someone finding us searching for
"INDC Bill Olsen Twins Goat Love"
or
"Jawa freak foot long donkey"
or
"Margaret Thatcher Naughty Bits pics"
or
"Condi dump Cheney Veep Bush Knights Templar Illuminati Plot Eye on one dollar bill is secret spying device mike moore krispy kreme butt crack dead israeli children in pie hole whatever happened to the hansen brothers um bop annoying CIA mind control Roosevelt Knew Pearl Harbor arranged by Prescott Bush did I mention the Illuminati Skull and Bones hey did you ever notice how both candidates were in skull and bones it's a plot dammit to deprive us of our tofu whale oil is much more clean and efficient to burn in your toyata prius piazza threw the all star game on the commands of his dark sith masters at halliburton for the love of gawd its time for a break i'm taking the weekend off see you monday!"
Plus, coming monday, my very special "HILLARY/VOLDEMORT '08 TWO DARK WIZARDS FOR AMERICA!" bumper stickers....
Blogger Linked. Llama Dinked.
Sorry to anyone who tried to link to things in my posts this morning and couldn't. Blogger's redesigned template leaves in an extra http//: code when you go to paste in a link unless you delete it first - it didn't used to do that. My bad for not noticing.
Anyway, should be no more problems now.
Sorry to anyone who tried to link to things in my posts this morning and couldn't. Blogger's redesigned template leaves in an extra http//: code when you go to paste in a link unless you delete it first - it didn't used to do that. My bad for not noticing.
Anyway, should be no more problems now.
Someone Else's Gratuitous Domestic Blogging
The Java Diva is chatting about one of the major rites of passage of parenthood - lowering shields.
I will just say this: The last six plus years of my life have featured at least one, and sometimes two, small childs in diapers. I have never, ever, got used to changing them. The day-to-day kind were bad enough. However, there is nothing in Heaven or on Earth worse than what is known in our house as the "core-breach poopy" - the kind that completely overwhelms the containment field. (Shudder.)
Thankfully, the six and four year olds are long past all this. And the really good news is that the two year old is rapidly becoming one of the "unicorn children" the JD talks about. Yesterday - in the middle of Dora, fer cryin out loud, she suddenly appeared coming up the basement stairs, announced her intentions and proceeded to march to the potty and, em, carry them out.
Light at the end of the tunnel.
(On a side note, I'm dreaming about what we could buy with all the money we save once we stop having to stock up on diapers and thinking, maybe, a yacht.)
Yips! to Dana.
The Java Diva is chatting about one of the major rites of passage of parenthood - lowering shields.
I will just say this: The last six plus years of my life have featured at least one, and sometimes two, small childs in diapers. I have never, ever, got used to changing them. The day-to-day kind were bad enough. However, there is nothing in Heaven or on Earth worse than what is known in our house as the "core-breach poopy" - the kind that completely overwhelms the containment field. (Shudder.)
Thankfully, the six and four year olds are long past all this. And the really good news is that the two year old is rapidly becoming one of the "unicorn children" the JD talks about. Yesterday - in the middle of Dora, fer cryin out loud, she suddenly appeared coming up the basement stairs, announced her intentions and proceeded to march to the potty and, em, carry them out.
Light at the end of the tunnel.
(On a side note, I'm dreaming about what we could buy with all the money we save once we stop having to stock up on diapers and thinking, maybe, a yacht.)
Yips! to Dana.
Roosevelt Lied! People Died!
The regularly incomparable Victor David Hanson provides some much-needed historical perspective on the costs of war.
I say "much needed" but I could probably say "waste of time" just as well, at least with respect to some folks. The Darth Moore Wing of the Left does not give a single solitary damn about Iraq, the war or history. All they care about is taking down George Dubya, by whatever means necessary.
VDH points out that Kedwards are aware of this and are playing a dangerous game: trying to use the powers of the Dark Side without becoming ensnared by it. My guess is that they won't be able to pull this off and that James Earl Jones may be able to get a new gig doing campaign commercials this fall. We'll see.
The regularly incomparable Victor David Hanson provides some much-needed historical perspective on the costs of war.
I say "much needed" but I could probably say "waste of time" just as well, at least with respect to some folks. The Darth Moore Wing of the Left does not give a single solitary damn about Iraq, the war or history. All they care about is taking down George Dubya, by whatever means necessary.
VDH points out that Kedwards are aware of this and are playing a dangerous game: trying to use the powers of the Dark Side without becoming ensnared by it. My guess is that they won't be able to pull this off and that James Earl Jones may be able to get a new gig doing campaign commercials this fall. We'll see.
Sharpen Up You No. 2 Pencils, Everybody...
Feeling smart? Why not give the 2004 General Information Test from Nicholls School a try?
I scored 78 out of 100, which apparently is pretty good. I came down, rather embarrassingly, over sports trivia, about which I really ought to know more. Also, I fanned a bunch of math questions, which I've never pretended to have mastered. And I'm really not up on Upstate New York politics.
Also, just to be a geek, I'll give you a hint about No. 10: There are two correct answers, depending on which version of the story you read.
Yips! to Jen(nifer).
UPDATE: Link fixed. I'm still getting the hang of Blogger's new tools. Sorry 'bout that. Time will not be deducted.
Feeling smart? Why not give the 2004 General Information Test from Nicholls School a try?
I scored 78 out of 100, which apparently is pretty good. I came down, rather embarrassingly, over sports trivia, about which I really ought to know more. Also, I fanned a bunch of math questions, which I've never pretended to have mastered. And I'm really not up on Upstate New York politics.
Also, just to be a geek, I'll give you a hint about No. 10: There are two correct answers, depending on which version of the story you read.
Yips! to Jen(nifer).
UPDATE: Link fixed. I'm still getting the hang of Blogger's new tools. Sorry 'bout that. Time will not be deducted.
Moonbat Watch
Sigh. Even as I put up the post below, I could hear the guy in the office next door to me lamenting Dubya's "off-handed" dismissal of the Kyoto Treaty.
Must. Resist. Urge. To. Grab. And. Shake.
Sigh. Even as I put up the post below, I could hear the guy in the office next door to me lamenting Dubya's "off-handed" dismissal of the Kyoto Treaty.
Must. Resist. Urge. To. Grab. And. Shake.
'Zackly
Man! Let your attention wander for twenty four hours and look what you miss! I don't know whether this is legit or not, but it's evidently got some folks spooked. In a way, that's really not such a bad thing in so far as it serves as a reminder that we're at war and all the talk of a "breather" or a "pause" or a "return to normalcy" that is starting to pervade the presidential debate is sheer lunacy. (And speaking of lunacy, I can see the Moonbat Left even now hollering that this is nothing more than a drag put on by BushHitlerCheneyHalliburtanGoebbelsJoooosForOil to scare people.)
Lileks is a must-read on this today. Punch line:
Man! Let your attention wander for twenty four hours and look what you miss! I don't know whether this is legit or not, but it's evidently got some folks spooked. In a way, that's really not such a bad thing in so far as it serves as a reminder that we're at war and all the talk of a "breather" or a "pause" or a "return to normalcy" that is starting to pervade the presidential debate is sheer lunacy. (And speaking of lunacy, I can see the Moonbat Left even now hollering that this is nothing more than a drag put on by BushHitlerCheneyHalliburtanGoebbelsJoooosForOil to scare people.)
Lileks is a must-read on this today. Punch line:
I hate this; God I hate this. But I don’t have any longing for normalcy, as Noonan put it the other day, because normalcy was a delusion, a diaphanous curtain draped over the statue of Mars. Nor do I want a time out, a breather, an operational pause. I want to cut to the chase. I want Iran in the hands of its people and leaning to the West again, I want Lebanon independent of Syrian rule, I want Syria isolated and cowed, Arafat dead and buried in the land of his birth – or Paris, symbolically – and the Saudi Civil War done and over with pragmatists in power. I'd like this all tomorrow please.As I say, 'zackly.
I'm Baaaaaaaaaaack!
On an impulse, I took yesterday off - just needed a 24 hour period where I wasnt' staring at a computer screen. I see that Steve-O did an admirable job of serving up helpings of tasty Llama bits while I was out. I also see that Blogger has been fiddling with its template stuff again.
But it looks as if I got back just in time - someone Googled in here on scam + villainy + U.N. +Lucas. That's a fine sentiment, but it's scum and villiany, dammit! As in, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany."
Like Crash Davis, I hate it when people get the words wrong.
Nice to be back.
On an impulse, I took yesterday off - just needed a 24 hour period where I wasnt' staring at a computer screen. I see that Steve-O did an admirable job of serving up helpings of tasty Llama bits while I was out. I also see that Blogger has been fiddling with its template stuff again.
But it looks as if I got back just in time - someone Googled in here on scam + villainy + U.N. +Lucas. That's a fine sentiment, but it's scum and villiany, dammit! As in, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany."
Like Crash Davis, I hate it when people get the words wrong.
Nice to be back.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Time goes over the top
Internet reaction is in full shorts-in-a-twist mode over this week's Time Magazine cover featuring Le Johns:
Personally, I think it's kind of fetching myself.
Internet reaction is in full shorts-in-a-twist mode over this week's Time Magazine cover featuring Le Johns:
Personally, I think it's kind of fetching myself.
Your George Jetson fix
TM Lutas has two nifty posts on the impending advent of hydrogen fueling stations. The first focuses on the geopolitical consequences of our inevitable shift away from an oil based economy, the second, with the effect that cheap access to the filling stations will have on small inventors.
TM Lutas has two nifty posts on the impending advent of hydrogen fueling stations. The first focuses on the geopolitical consequences of our inevitable shift away from an oil based economy, the second, with the effect that cheap access to the filling stations will have on small inventors.
Veggie blogging
Our old pal the bookish gardner is taking the lead on veggie blogging with a delicious little description of what's to come.
I've been neglecting my veggie blogging as of late: the garden is doing fabulously. When we came back from the beach, we suffered the curse of going away for a few days in the summer: that's right, zucchini's as big as fertility idols. The peppers haven't produced yet, but the accidental discovery of the summer is that the kids absolutely love the green beans---we've had them every night this week, and it's nice for a change not to have to come up with a complicated incentive structure to get the kids to eat some greens. The tomatos have been great so far. I'll get some pictures later.
So, stand up against the tyranny of cat blogging and smiley emoticons, and go give them a visit!
Our old pal the bookish gardner is taking the lead on veggie blogging with a delicious little description of what's to come.
I've been neglecting my veggie blogging as of late: the garden is doing fabulously. When we came back from the beach, we suffered the curse of going away for a few days in the summer: that's right, zucchini's as big as fertility idols. The peppers haven't produced yet, but the accidental discovery of the summer is that the kids absolutely love the green beans---we've had them every night this week, and it's nice for a change not to have to come up with a complicated incentive structure to get the kids to eat some greens. The tomatos have been great so far. I'll get some pictures later.
So, stand up against the tyranny of cat blogging and smiley emoticons, and go give them a visit!
Most creative use of the term "en fuego"
Kathleen over at the Cake Eater Chronicles has a harrowing, life or death encounter with a hair stylist.
Go ahead, drink the beverage while reading it: you wanted a new monitor after all.
Kathleen over at the Cake Eater Chronicles has a harrowing, life or death encounter with a hair stylist.
Go ahead, drink the beverage while reading it: you wanted a new monitor after all.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Total Perspective Vortex
If you're feeling old, read this post from Donald Sensing. Then you'll feel small, too.
If you're feeling old, read this post from Donald Sensing. Then you'll feel small, too.
Are You An Orch Dork?
Okay, enough politics for the moment. Mixolydian Don has a checklist of musical geekiness. As usual, bolds are affirmatives, italics are "sortas" and comments are distributed gratuitously:
You Know You're An Orch Dork When:
If you want a Black Diamond version of the same list, go check it out at Kiss Me, I'm Catholic.
Okay, enough politics for the moment. Mixolydian Don has a checklist of musical geekiness. As usual, bolds are affirmatives, italics are "sortas" and comments are distributed gratuitously:
You Know You're An Orch Dork When:
-You get together with your friends and in the midst of deciding what to do, you find yourselves playing chamber music. (Alas, I have not a single friend in the immediate vicinity who actually plays an instrument. All I can do is wait until my girls start taking lessons....)
-When you think about it, you really don’t think the viola jokes are that funny because you know that they are all so TRUE (I had a friend in college about whom all of those jokes could have been written.)
-You know what a Hammered Dulcimer is
-You know what an Austrian 6th chord is
-You follow along in the score when you listen to classical music
-You own scores
-You know what a hemidemisemiquaver is
-You read program notes
-You play along with Mahler symphonies on the kazoo (Well, Bach and Vivaldi, actually. The counterpart is more fun.)
-You know how to pronounce Dohnanyi (This is how classical music DJ's prove to themselves their superiority over their pop and country bretheren.)
-You have a conniption when people clap between movements (I also can't stand the standing ovations that are given to damn near every performance that doesn't actually end in disaster.)
-You know Mozart's full name
-You judge people's coolness by how well they can hoe-down
-You go nuts when you hear the school bell go off because you try to figure out what pitch it is
-You know all the tempo indications of the Beethoven symphonies and which conducters adhere the most strictly to them...
-You can play any given excerpt from Mozart's Haffner in your sleep. In fact, sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night to find yourself practicing the opening d octaves... (I can whistle the whole thing, anyway. So far as I know, I don't do this in my sleep.)
-Someone asks you what car you drive, and you respond: "Kreisler" (This is a lame, lame Orch Dork joke and one of the reasons why these people are called dorks.)
-You jump up and shout "That's the Verdi Missa de Requiem!" when you hear it on an SUV commercial. (Not ringing a bell, but I've always been a fiend about IDing classical pieces that show up on teevee ads. We hates it.)
-You just saw Master & Commander, and immediately wanted to play the cool Boccherini piece. (Actually, no, because I disliked the movie and because I'm a pianist. But I can top it: I have two CD's of performances of pieces referenced in the books themselves. That should count for full marks.)
If you want a Black Diamond version of the same list, go check it out at Kiss Me, I'm Catholic.
BUSH LIIIEED!!! Oh, Wait, No He Didn't.
The Butler Report to the House of Commons is here. (Scroll down a bit.)
Jonah is good enough to provide the following snippets, which I filch wholesale:
Aaaaaand.....
(Emphasis all mine.)
'Course, how does CNN headline it's story about the report? You guessed it: Iraq WMD claims 'seriously flawed'.
How about: "Joe Wilson Is A Lying Sack of Sh*t"? Naw, I didn't think so.
In the end, does the truth really matter to the moonbats? Just ask their fellow travelers on the other side of the pond:
The Butler Report to the House of Commons is here. (Scroll down a bit.)
Jonah is good enough to provide the following snippets, which I filch wholesale:
We conclude that, on the basis of the intelligence assessments at the time, covering both Niger and the Democratic Republic of Congo, the statements on Iraqi attempts to buy uranium from Africa in the government's dossier, and by extension the prime minister in the House of Commons, were well founded. By extension, we conclude also that the statement in President Bush's state of the union address of 2003 that "the British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa" was well founded.
Aaaaaand.....
Even now it would be premature to reach conclusions about Iraq's prohibited weapons. Much potential evidence may have been destroyed in the looting and disorder that followed the cessation of hostilities. Other material may be hidden in the sand, including stocks of agent or weapons. We believe that it would be a rash person who asserted at this stage that evidence of Iraqi possession of stocks of biological or chemical agents, or even of banned missiles, does not exist or will never be found. But as a result of our review, and taking into account the evidence which has been found by the ISG and debriefing of Iraqi personnel, we have reached the conclusion that prior to the war the Iraqi regime:
a) Had the strategic intention of resuming the pursuit of prohibited weapons programmes, including if possible its nuclear weapons programme, when UN inspection regimes were relaxed and sanctions were eroded or lifted.
b) In support of that goal, was carrying out illicit research and development, and procurement, activities, to seek to sustain its indigenous capabilities.
c) Was developing ballistic missiles with a range longer than permitted under relevant United Nations security council resolutions, but did not have significant - if any - stocks of chemical or biological weapons in a state fit for deployment, or developed plans for using them.
(Emphasis all mine.)
'Course, how does CNN headline it's story about the report? You guessed it: Iraq WMD claims 'seriously flawed'.
How about: "Joe Wilson Is A Lying Sack of Sh*t"? Naw, I didn't think so.
In the end, does the truth really matter to the moonbats? Just ask their fellow travelers on the other side of the pond:
The Stop the War campaign group was more blunt: "However many reports Tony Blair and his government commission on the Iraq war, one indisputable fact remains -- Tony lied and thousands died," it told Reuters.
Did You Know...
That you can rearrange the letters of "Just Thinkin Out Loud" to read "Toil, thou unjust dink"?
S'true.
(And just by way of preemption, "Meaty, Woolly, Snippy" can be rearranged to spell "Loony, Sweaty, Pimply". Do yer own research!)
That you can rearrange the letters of "Just Thinkin Out Loud" to read "Toil, thou unjust dink"?
S'true.
(And just by way of preemption, "Meaty, Woolly, Snippy" can be rearranged to spell "Loony, Sweaty, Pimply". Do yer own research!)
Whacknut Political Consulting, a wholy-owned division of Llamabutcher Industries
If you are like me and most Americans, you took a gander at the new Kerry/Edwards bumper stickers and went "ho-hum."
And, as a good citizen, healthily engaged in the democratic process, you might come up with some helpful alternatives:
or
And if you are unlike me (and most Americans), and you spend day and night plotting and scheming over your cauldron on how to get Hillary back into the White House, you might try these on the back of your broom:
Although, to fight off that depressing thought, I've been driving around Charlottesville with THIS bumper sticker for the past couple of days and I've gotten the finger five times! So I think we're onto something here....
Then again, it could've been this sticker, as we were in the parking lot of the Whole Foods...
(the last one is corrected---for some reason today I can't spell to save my life. All these paint fumes are getting to me....)
UPDATE: Yes, we take requests! This one goes out to a lonely BBQ genius who has to resist the daily urge to put the corn cob pipe in his mouth and drive a tank over his wife's place of employment....
This one goes out to the guy who dated the scary chick that Robbo and his bride to be tried to set me up with:
If you are like me and most Americans, you took a gander at the new Kerry/Edwards bumper stickers and went "ho-hum."
And, as a good citizen, healthily engaged in the democratic process, you might come up with some helpful alternatives:
or
And if you are unlike me (and most Americans), and you spend day and night plotting and scheming over your cauldron on how to get Hillary back into the White House, you might try these on the back of your broom:
Although, to fight off that depressing thought, I've been driving around Charlottesville with THIS bumper sticker for the past couple of days and I've gotten the finger five times! So I think we're onto something here....
Then again, it could've been this sticker, as we were in the parking lot of the Whole Foods...
(the last one is corrected---for some reason today I can't spell to save my life. All these paint fumes are getting to me....)
UPDATE: Yes, we take requests! This one goes out to a lonely BBQ genius who has to resist the daily urge to put the corn cob pipe in his mouth and drive a tank over his wife's place of employment....
This one goes out to the guy who dated the scary chick that Robbo and his bride to be tried to set me up with:
Ducky Blogging?
A disturbing new trend. Really.
Speaking of cute widdle animals, feel free to join Chan the Bookish Gardener and me in a rousing chorus of Kill the Wabbit!
A disturbing new trend. Really.
Speaking of cute widdle animals, feel free to join Chan the Bookish Gardener and me in a rousing chorus of Kill the Wabbit!
Bastille Day Required Reading
Steyn. Need we say more? Get going.
(We're not going to bother with a hot beverage warning. If you don't know enough not to read Steyn while drinking a cup o' joe, you will by the time you're done.)
Steyn. Need we say more? Get going.
(We're not going to bother with a hot beverage warning. If you don't know enough not to read Steyn while drinking a cup o' joe, you will by the time you're done.)
Simpson, Eh?
Put down your hot beverages and go read John Hawkins' collection of Best Simpson Quotes. (You might want to shut your door, too, in order not to attract too much attention to your helpless giggling.)
Put down your hot beverages and go read John Hawkins' collection of Best Simpson Quotes. (You might want to shut your door, too, in order not to attract too much attention to your helpless giggling.)
John Calhoun, call your agent
This story in Wizbang about Killington seceding from Vermont and joining New Hampshire is not as insane as it sounds: a town in Utah did this, leaving Utah and becoming part of Nevada a few years back. It, however, was right on the border, whereas Killington has a good 30ish miles.
I guess it's time to dust-off those old West Berlin tactics to save a free people from the aggressive attacks of the Leninist Commune of Vermont.
This story in Wizbang about Killington seceding from Vermont and joining New Hampshire is not as insane as it sounds: a town in Utah did this, leaving Utah and becoming part of Nevada a few years back. It, however, was right on the border, whereas Killington has a good 30ish miles.
I guess it's time to dust-off those old West Berlin tactics to save a free people from the aggressive attacks of the Leninist Commune of Vermont.
DITKA WATCH UPDATE!
As of 1052 CDT, still no official announcement.........but........
Here's the latest from the Chicago Sun Times: DEMOCRATS ARE SHAKING IN THEIR BOOTS
Dear Santa: PLEASE, please, Gawd, I've been good, I've been really REALLY good....I'll stop linking to Allahpundit and everything!
As of 1052 CDT, still no official announcement.........but........
Here's the latest from the Chicago Sun Times: DEMOCRATS ARE SHAKING IN THEIR BOOTS
Virginia Sen. George Allen, head of the National Republican Senatorial Committee and son of a Hall of Fame coach himself, flew into Chicago Tuesday to personally huddle with Ditka, one day after the Bears legend said he was thinking about running for the U.S. Senate.
"Sen. Allen is planning on meeting with Coach Ditka tonight in Chicago to discuss the level of thought that Ditka has put into the race and the implications that that would have on the life that he lives right now," a GOP strategist in Washington said Tuesday.
No matter what Ditka decides, a growing number of Illinois Republicans are warming up to the idea that Ditka might -- might -- be willing to step in to replace GOP Senate nominee Jack Ryan, who resigned over allegations he once took his [Borg] wife to sex clubs.
Dear Santa: PLEASE, please, Gawd, I've been good, I've been really REALLY good....I'll stop linking to Allahpundit and everything!
"Heart & Soul"
A good Huey Lewis song from the 80's, John Kerry couldn't even come close to singing it if he were as musically tone-deaf as he seems to be politically. Just check out the New England Republican's round up of Kerry's perversely foolish Hollywood Love-Fest at Radio City Music Hall the other night and the Bush Camp's immediate reaction.
(Oh, and while you're there, be sure to check out the new DNCC Logo. Heh, indeed.)
A good Huey Lewis song from the 80's, John Kerry couldn't even come close to singing it if he were as musically tone-deaf as he seems to be politically. Just check out the New England Republican's round up of Kerry's perversely foolish Hollywood Love-Fest at Radio City Music Hall the other night and the Bush Camp's immediate reaction.
(Oh, and while you're there, be sure to check out the new DNCC Logo. Heh, indeed.)
Did Disco really die?
Jeff Goldstein, the man who makes your Llamas seem, well, sane, has the details of what REALLY happened.
Jeff Goldstein, the man who makes your Llamas seem, well, sane, has the details of what REALLY happened.
Da Candidate
As I write (just past 10:30 AM EST), still no official word on whether Mike Ditka is going to run for the Senate from Illinois. My prediction: If he runs, he wins.
My reaction: AHHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!
As I write (just past 10:30 AM EST), still no official word on whether Mike Ditka is going to run for the Senate from Illinois. My prediction: If he runs, he wins.
My reaction: AHHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!
Why I love blogging and the Internet, edition 259
So I was cruising Google looking for a good picture of Marion Barry to pshop an INDC logo into, and came across this page which had the surveillance tape pic of the Mayor for Life taking a long and slow draw on his crack pipe. Great, save it for the files.
But then I noticed a link at the bottom which took me to THIS page, which has to be the damn-near most hilarious thing I've ever read in a long while---a listing of Eagle Scouts gone bad. As a former Eagle Scout, I fell off my chair laughing. Of course, the guy putting it together has a bit of an ideological axe to grind (ie Don Rumsfeld on the list?), but putting Speilberg in there for the crime of "Goonies" was perfect. Where else can you find serial killers, Marion Barry, and John Tesh linked in the same spot?
So I was cruising Google looking for a good picture of Marion Barry to pshop an INDC logo into, and came across this page which had the surveillance tape pic of the Mayor for Life taking a long and slow draw on his crack pipe. Great, save it for the files.
But then I noticed a link at the bottom which took me to THIS page, which has to be the damn-near most hilarious thing I've ever read in a long while---a listing of Eagle Scouts gone bad. As a former Eagle Scout, I fell off my chair laughing. Of course, the guy putting it together has a bit of an ideological axe to grind (ie Don Rumsfeld on the list?), but putting Speilberg in there for the crime of "Goonies" was perfect. Where else can you find serial killers, Marion Barry, and John Tesh linked in the same spot?
John Kerry crashes 9-11 Dedication
Somehow, I don't think JFK I would have handled it this way---as was apparent on the first day of being a caddy, being upper class and having class are not the same thing.
Hat tip to Matt Margolis.
Somehow, I don't think JFK I would have handled it this way---as was apparent on the first day of being a caddy, being upper class and having class are not the same thing.
Hat tip to Matt Margolis.
Now This Is A Meme I Can Support
There is an effort flipping around the 'sphere to send Christopher Hitchens a bottle of Johnny Walker Red.
For the record, if anyone gets any ideas about sending the Llamas some Scotch, we'd prefer a bottle of this.
Mmmmmm.....Island single malts....mmmmmmmmm......
There is an effort flipping around the 'sphere to send Christopher Hitchens a bottle of Johnny Walker Red.
For the record, if anyone gets any ideas about sending the Llamas some Scotch, we'd prefer a bottle of this.
Mmmmmm.....Island single malts....mmmmmmmmm......
HA-Ha!
It strikes me that today is an appropriate time for Yankees and Red Sox fans to put aside our usual differences in order that we might have a good mutual gloat over Roger Clemens getting spanked so badly last night.
UPDATE: I haven't watched that many games this season, so maybe they've been running for a while and I've missed them, but did anyone else think those smarmy Visa commercials about the Sox and the Cubs making the series were particularly obnoxious?
YIPS from Steve: Remember that scene in Bull Durham were Crash goes and tells the batter what the pitch is to teach Nuke LaLoosh a lesson about not messing with the catcher? I bet Mike Piazza would have loved to walk out to the mound after Manny smacked that three-run dinger and say "Boy, he nailed it--he hit the Bull! I'll bet they get full cabin service on that flight!"
Seriously, though, that's completely in line with Fatboy's career: for all his "Mr. Intimidation" crap, he's never really been a big game pitcher in the clutch.
YIPS BACK! from Robbo: Michele was thinking Bull Durham too.....
It strikes me that today is an appropriate time for Yankees and Red Sox fans to put aside our usual differences in order that we might have a good mutual gloat over Roger Clemens getting spanked so badly last night.
UPDATE: I haven't watched that many games this season, so maybe they've been running for a while and I've missed them, but did anyone else think those smarmy Visa commercials about the Sox and the Cubs making the series were particularly obnoxious?
YIPS from Steve: Remember that scene in Bull Durham were Crash goes and tells the batter what the pitch is to teach Nuke LaLoosh a lesson about not messing with the catcher? I bet Mike Piazza would have loved to walk out to the mound after Manny smacked that three-run dinger and say "Boy, he nailed it--he hit the Bull! I'll bet they get full cabin service on that flight!"
Seriously, though, that's completely in line with Fatboy's career: for all his "Mr. Intimidation" crap, he's never really been a big game pitcher in the clutch.
YIPS BACK! from Robbo: Michele was thinking Bull Durham too.....
Top 10 Reasons Why the Democratic National Committee Revoked Its Press Credential Invitation to INDC Bill
I'm sure you've been following the story of how our old pal and fellow link-ho INDC Bill got shafted by the DNC by inviting him to the convention and then yanking his credentials a few days later, just in time for Bill to make plane and hotel reservations. It's kind of like the political version of the 1980s James Spader evil high school prep-dude offering his hand and then yanking it back to run it through his feathered, center-parted hair.
So without further ado, the Llamabutchers give you the "Top 10 Reasons Why the DNC Revoked Its Press Credentials From INDC Bill"
Don't won't worry, Bill: we'll get Jon Cryer to play you in the movie version.
Seriously, though, this is like seeing a good friend tossed out of the back of a moving limo, rolling into the gutter, and come crawling back up to the street corner with the rest of us link-ho's. So, if you're lumpen blogitariat like us, and you only get notice from the likes of Oxblog when they drop by your comments section to make fun of you for spelling their name wrong, drop a little lucre into Bill's tin cup to take a bit of the sting out of getting punk'd by Terry Mac. Fight the powers that be! Marauding Marsupials and lower of the blogosphere unite! We've got nothing to lose but our incessant need to check in to see if Instapundit has put up a new link since the last time we checked five minutes ago!
I'm sure you've been following the story of how our old pal and fellow link-ho INDC Bill got shafted by the DNC by inviting him to the convention and then yanking his credentials a few days later, just in time for Bill to make plane and hotel reservations. It's kind of like the political version of the 1980s James Spader evil high school prep-dude offering his hand and then yanking it back to run it through his feathered, center-parted hair.
So without further ado, the Llamabutchers give you the "Top 10 Reasons Why the DNC Revoked Its Press Credentials From INDC Bill"
10. NEWS FLASH! MUST CREDIT DRUDGE REPORT! KERRY CAMPAIGN FLIP-FLOPS ON AN ISSUE!
9. "LINK-WHORE" not yet an official Democratic Party constituency-grievance group.
8. Mark Lehane realized too late that Bill's "interviews" with Andrew Sullivan and the Bear were....FAKE!
7. Terry Mac: "Do you mean to tell me Dr. Harvey Streelburg's world famous anthropological studies of desmodonis lunaris are.....SATIRE? THAT BITCH!"
6. The Edwards people didn't want someone there with better hair or more sex appeal.
5. The Kennedy Mafia discovered that Bill is the founding member of "The Chappaquidick Swim Club" team at the Capitol Hill Y.
4. The Bitch that set Marion Barry up? INDC Bill in drag!
3. Democratic Activist Ashton Kuchar is going to dive out of a bush any second and yell "You've been PUNK'D!"
2. "Frankly, this is the sort of brave and bold life or death leadership decision John Kerry learned from his three months in Vietnam.....did we mention he served in Vietnam?"
1. Hillary did it, in Fort Marcy Park, with the candlestick.
Don't won't worry, Bill: we'll get Jon Cryer to play you in the movie version.
Seriously, though, this is like seeing a good friend tossed out of the back of a moving limo, rolling into the gutter, and come crawling back up to the street corner with the rest of us link-ho's. So, if you're lumpen blogitariat like us, and you only get notice from the likes of Oxblog when they drop by your comments section to make fun of you for spelling their name wrong, drop a little lucre into Bill's tin cup to take a bit of the sting out of getting punk'd by Terry Mac. Fight the powers that be! Marauding Marsupials and lower of the blogosphere unite! We've got nothing to lose but our incessant need to check in to see if Instapundit has put up a new link since the last time we checked five minutes ago!
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Super-subtle marketing secrets of the Llamabutchers, PART DEUX
BUY THIS BOOK NOW!!!
Hugh Hewitt is promoting his book with an ingenuous twist: buy a copy and have Amazon send it to a journalist who could use the reality check. It's the "Adopt a Lefty Journalist" guerilla marketing campaign (would that make it part of the Hewitt Insurgency in face of the Moore Occupation of our Homeland?)
We here at the Llamabutchers would like to take that twist and add some salt: buy a copy for a lefty professor or college librarian. Send a copy of the "text" to the chair of a humanities department, or even better, lefty political science types. Need names and addresses? Rusty Schackleford and I, suave neocons gone undercover in the Leninist wilds of American political science association, could fill you in.
Hugh hopes that his plan will leave numerous copies awash in newsrooms around the country: my plan would leave numerous copies lying around faculty lounges across the republic. Now, while I'm not foolish enough to think that it would alter anyone's paradigm, so to speak, I'm pretty sure that the title alone would result in at least a few strokes and heartattacks, thereby lowering the vote total for Flipper and the Breck Girl by a few votes....and remember, every vote counts!
BUY THIS BOOK NOW!!!
Hugh Hewitt is promoting his book with an ingenuous twist: buy a copy and have Amazon send it to a journalist who could use the reality check. It's the "Adopt a Lefty Journalist" guerilla marketing campaign (would that make it part of the Hewitt Insurgency in face of the Moore Occupation of our Homeland?)
We here at the Llamabutchers would like to take that twist and add some salt: buy a copy for a lefty professor or college librarian. Send a copy of the "text" to the chair of a humanities department, or even better, lefty political science types. Need names and addresses? Rusty Schackleford and I, suave neocons gone undercover in the Leninist wilds of American political science association, could fill you in.
Hugh hopes that his plan will leave numerous copies awash in newsrooms around the country: my plan would leave numerous copies lying around faculty lounges across the republic. Now, while I'm not foolish enough to think that it would alter anyone's paradigm, so to speak, I'm pretty sure that the title alone would result in at least a few strokes and heartattacks, thereby lowering the vote total for Flipper and the Breck Girl by a few votes....and remember, every vote counts!
Cogito Ergo Llama
According to this philosophy quiz, here are the way my views of Life, the Universe and Everything stack up against the Heavyweights:
1. Aquinas (100%)
2. Aristotle (80%)
3. Spinoza (76%)
4. John Stuart Mill (73%)
5. St. Augustine (71%)
6. Kant (67%)
7. Ockham (65%)
8. Jeremy Bentham (61%)
9. Stoics (49%)
10. Prescriptivism (47%)
11. David Hume (46%)
12. Jean-Paul Sartre (43%)
13. Plato (41%)
14. Nietzsche (39%)
15. Ayn Rand (36%)
16. Epicureans (36%)
17. Nel Noddings (36%)
18. Cynics (24%)
19. Thomas Hobbes (16%)
Well, there you go. Pretty consistent with other quizes like this I've taken. I'm slightly surprised that Plato comes out so low, but too lazy to go back and figure which answer might have thrown that result. Also, Augustine usually scores higher. Eh.
Yips! to Kate at Small Dead Animals.
YIPS from Steve:
Well, that was odd:
Then again, I was trying to maximize Hume on purpose, but I guess it didn't work.
As for the ratings, I think Rand and Satre were wankers, and Kant was basically a tool as we would say in high school. Mill, Aristotle, Hume, Plato, and Bentham--that's the heart of the order for me (throw Marcus Aurelius in there and you've got quite an infield). And poor Hobbes....I definitely sympathize with his views on the state of nature as the state of war (Hobbes would have just loved dear old Kofi Anan, wouldn't he?), what he does with those views is another matter. And Nietzsche, well, he can kiss my patoot.
According to this philosophy quiz, here are the way my views of Life, the Universe and Everything stack up against the Heavyweights:
1. Aquinas (100%)
2. Aristotle (80%)
3. Spinoza (76%)
4. John Stuart Mill (73%)
5. St. Augustine (71%)
6. Kant (67%)
7. Ockham (65%)
8. Jeremy Bentham (61%)
9. Stoics (49%)
10. Prescriptivism (47%)
11. David Hume (46%)
12. Jean-Paul Sartre (43%)
13. Plato (41%)
14. Nietzsche (39%)
15. Ayn Rand (36%)
16. Epicureans (36%)
17. Nel Noddings (36%)
18. Cynics (24%)
19. Thomas Hobbes (16%)
Well, there you go. Pretty consistent with other quizes like this I've taken. I'm slightly surprised that Plato comes out so low, but too lazy to go back and figure which answer might have thrown that result. Also, Augustine usually scores higher. Eh.
Yips! to Kate at Small Dead Animals.
YIPS from Steve:
Well, that was odd:
#
1. Kant (100%) Click here for info
2. Stoics (86%) Click here for info
3. Ayn Rand (77%) Click here for info
4. Aquinas (75%) Click here for info
5. Jean-Paul Sartre (69%) Click here for info
6. John Stuart Mill (67%) Click here for info
7. Aristotle (65%) Click here for info
8. David Hume (64%) Click here for info
9. Spinoza (60%) Click here for info
10. Plato (58%) Click here for info
11. Jeremy Bentham (53%) Click here for info
12. Nietzsche (53%) Click here for info
13. Prescriptivism (46%) Click here for info
14. Ockham (42%) Click here for info
15. Thomas Hobbes (35%) Click here for info
16. Epicureans (34%) Click here for info
17. Nel Noddings (33%) Click here for info
18. Cynics (31%) Click here for info
19. St. Augustine (25%) Click here for info
Then again, I was trying to maximize Hume on purpose, but I guess it didn't work.
As for the ratings, I think Rand and Satre were wankers, and Kant was basically a tool as we would say in high school. Mill, Aristotle, Hume, Plato, and Bentham--that's the heart of the order for me (throw Marcus Aurelius in there and you've got quite an infield). And poor Hobbes....I definitely sympathize with his views on the state of nature as the state of war (Hobbes would have just loved dear old Kofi Anan, wouldn't he?), what he does with those views is another matter. And Nietzsche, well, he can kiss my patoot.
Edwards As A Wilsonian?
Hmmmmmm.....My taking issue with the good folks at Oxblog is rather like a seven year old with a cap pistol calling out Billy the Kid. But I'm going to try it anyway. I really think Patrick Belton is overestimating the possible foreign policy benefits that Edwards might bring to the Donks' ticket.
In the first place, remember what happened to Holy Joe Lieberman once Algore got hold of him. Complete assimilation on a wide variety of issues. The last thing Kerry is going to let Edwards do is cross him on something as important as foreign policy. And as John Podhoretz points out today, Kerry is already well on his way to embracing the Dark Side of Darth Moore and his cohorts on the issue of Iraq. Whatever regular-guy Wilsonian impulses Edwards might have are going to get completely swept away.
In the second place, Belton hopes that "Edwards will wield as much influence with the head of his ticket as Vice President Cheney has been reputed to wield with his." That isn't going to happen. Edwards was picked not for his policies but because he looks good. Bush picked Cheney because of their mutual political sympathies and because he believed (rightly) that Cheney would be an asset to help implement those policies.
Hmmmmmm.....My taking issue with the good folks at Oxblog is rather like a seven year old with a cap pistol calling out Billy the Kid. But I'm going to try it anyway. I really think Patrick Belton is overestimating the possible foreign policy benefits that Edwards might bring to the Donks' ticket.
In the first place, remember what happened to Holy Joe Lieberman once Algore got hold of him. Complete assimilation on a wide variety of issues. The last thing Kerry is going to let Edwards do is cross him on something as important as foreign policy. And as John Podhoretz points out today, Kerry is already well on his way to embracing the Dark Side of Darth Moore and his cohorts on the issue of Iraq. Whatever regular-guy Wilsonian impulses Edwards might have are going to get completely swept away.
In the second place, Belton hopes that "Edwards will wield as much influence with the head of his ticket as Vice President Cheney has been reputed to wield with his." That isn't going to happen. Edwards was picked not for his policies but because he looks good. Bush picked Cheney because of their mutual political sympathies and because he believed (rightly) that Cheney would be an asset to help implement those policies.
End Of The Afternoon Time Waster
Check out the Attacking Seagulls game. It gets kind of creepy as the number of hovering birds mounts. It also reminds me of the "Mine! Mine!" seagulls from Finding Nemo.
Yips! to Mixolydian Don.
Check out the Attacking Seagulls game. It gets kind of creepy as the number of hovering birds mounts. It also reminds me of the "Mine! Mine!" seagulls from Finding Nemo.
Yips! to Mixolydian Don.
We Have A Winner!
Looks like Ted of Rocket Jones rolled the meter over at 20,000 hits. Congrats! Just let us know what flavor you prefer and a full day's supply of Rice-O-Roni, the San Francisco treat, will go winging its way out to you.
Yip! Yip! Yip!
Looks like Ted of Rocket Jones rolled the meter over at 20,000 hits. Congrats! Just let us know what flavor you prefer and a full day's supply of Rice-O-Roni, the San Francisco treat, will go winging its way out to you.
Yip! Yip! Yip!
Heh. Indeed.
Michelle speaks. Today's lesson: Friends don't let friends beerballot.
The question is: Is Kedwards single or double coyote ugly?
Michelle speaks. Today's lesson: Friends don't let friends beerballot.
The question is: Is Kedwards single or double coyote ugly?
Gratuitous Silly Quiz Time
No, we're not at all above this sort of thing:
Where are you on the highway of life?
From Go-Quiz.com
(The Missus is gonna freak about that childbirth thing.)
Lifted, coincidentally, from The Mommy Blog.
No, we're not at all above this sort of thing:
| ||||||||||||||
From Go-Quiz.com
(The Missus is gonna freak about that childbirth thing.)
Lifted, coincidentally, from The Mommy Blog.
Now That's Class (Not)
John Effin' Kerry grandstands at a 9/11 Memorial dedication.
No doubt this is part of that sophisticated nuance he's been talking about.
John Effin' Kerry grandstands at a 9/11 Memorial dedication.
No doubt this is part of that sophisticated nuance he's been talking about.
20K
By the way, according to Sitemeter, we should pick up our 20,000th hit some time later this afternoon or this evening. We opened the shop last November, when I think the only person who read it was my mom. We had our first 1000 hit month in January. The last 14,000-odd hits have come since May. This is the kind of growth we like to see. We really do appreciate everyone who comments, links us or just stops by.
I've been noodling a post comparing our expectations when we started out to where we are now in terms of content and recognition. I don't really have time to write it properly. Suffice to say, this isn't quite what we thought would happen but we're very glad it has. We like where we are and where we're going. Perhaps Steve-O will have more to say on this (hint, hint).
Once again, thanks very much to all of you (or all y'all, as they say in Texas).
Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!
By the way, according to Sitemeter, we should pick up our 20,000th hit some time later this afternoon or this evening. We opened the shop last November, when I think the only person who read it was my mom. We had our first 1000 hit month in January. The last 14,000-odd hits have come since May. This is the kind of growth we like to see. We really do appreciate everyone who comments, links us or just stops by.
I've been noodling a post comparing our expectations when we started out to where we are now in terms of content and recognition. I don't really have time to write it properly. Suffice to say, this isn't quite what we thought would happen but we're very glad it has. We like where we are and where we're going. Perhaps Steve-O will have more to say on this (hint, hint).
Once again, thanks very much to all of you (or all y'all, as they say in Texas).
Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!
Interesting
Did you know the letters of A Bad State of Gruntledness can be rearranged to spell "Abed as tat of dress-lent gnu"?
Me neither. S'true though.
Did you know the letters of A Bad State of Gruntledness can be rearranged to spell "Abed as tat of dress-lent gnu"?
Me neither. S'true though.
Well, This Is A New One
Labor-blogging. Man - that is dedication. (Good luck and congratulations and all, of course.)
Yips! to Michele.
Labor-blogging. Man - that is dedication. (Good luck and congratulations and all, of course.)
Yips! to Michele.
Now The Terrorists Are Using Cats!
An Iraqi tabby named Hammer has been given the rank of private and has come back Stateside with his adoptive unit, the Third Brigade Combat Team.
Merciful God in Heaven Above! Don't you people see what is happening? As we all know (even those of us who don't want to admit it), cats are shifty, faithless and selfish. Their allegiances are completely false and are proffered for nothing other than their own gain. As someone once said, "Cats look at you in a way that says, 'The only reason I don't eat you is that you're bigger than me.'"
Well now it looks like the bad guys are infiltrating our ranks with these ticking feline time-bombs. The folks at Fort Carson, Colorado, may think they have an appreciative little mascot now. But I Guar-On-Tee that they will rue the day they brought this foul kitty home. I'm talking imminent rueage. The troops will wake up some fine morning to discover kitty litter sprayed all over the place and jamming engines in the motor pool, hairballs galore clogging muzzles, fluff and dander shorting out all the electronics, everything made of fabric in the camp ripped to shreds and the base commander lying in bed with his throat slashed. Hell, a pickup truck full of Al Qaeda will be able to tool right in the front gate and force the place to surrender.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
An Iraqi tabby named Hammer has been given the rank of private and has come back Stateside with his adoptive unit, the Third Brigade Combat Team.
Merciful God in Heaven Above! Don't you people see what is happening? As we all know (even those of us who don't want to admit it), cats are shifty, faithless and selfish. Their allegiances are completely false and are proffered for nothing other than their own gain. As someone once said, "Cats look at you in a way that says, 'The only reason I don't eat you is that you're bigger than me.'"
Well now it looks like the bad guys are infiltrating our ranks with these ticking feline time-bombs. The folks at Fort Carson, Colorado, may think they have an appreciative little mascot now. But I Guar-On-Tee that they will rue the day they brought this foul kitty home. I'm talking imminent rueage. The troops will wake up some fine morning to discover kitty litter sprayed all over the place and jamming engines in the motor pool, hairballs galore clogging muzzles, fluff and dander shorting out all the electronics, everything made of fabric in the camp ripped to shreds and the base commander lying in bed with his throat slashed. Hell, a pickup truck full of Al Qaeda will be able to tool right in the front gate and force the place to surrender.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Plum Good
StephenEsque, who we recently discovered has (however unwisely) blogrolled the Llamas, has some enthusiastic things to say about his new DVD of Wodehouse Playhouse.
I heartily agree. The local PBS station ran these late at night when I was a kid and I never missed them. If you want to see a good dramatization of Plum's work, this is an excellent place to do so. (Indeed, the Old Boy introduces each episode himself, apparently from the grave.) As noted, the vast majority of these stories come out of Wodehouse's Mulliner series, which are not necessarily my favorites, but are quite entertaining nonetheless. John Alderton, a tall, goofy-looking man and Pauline Collins, a short, brayish girl with big cheeks and a toothy grin, play the hero and heroine of each episode with evident humor and good will.
Indeed, Wodehouse Playhouse is far, far superior to the bastardized mishmash of Jeeves and Wooster, which I dislike almost as much as I dislike the more recent efforts to bring Tolkien and O'Brian to the screen. (But, as faithful readers know, that's a different rant.)
StephenEsque, who we recently discovered has (however unwisely) blogrolled the Llamas, has some enthusiastic things to say about his new DVD of Wodehouse Playhouse.
I heartily agree. The local PBS station ran these late at night when I was a kid and I never missed them. If you want to see a good dramatization of Plum's work, this is an excellent place to do so. (Indeed, the Old Boy introduces each episode himself, apparently from the grave.) As noted, the vast majority of these stories come out of Wodehouse's Mulliner series, which are not necessarily my favorites, but are quite entertaining nonetheless. John Alderton, a tall, goofy-looking man and Pauline Collins, a short, brayish girl with big cheeks and a toothy grin, play the hero and heroine of each episode with evident humor and good will.
Indeed, Wodehouse Playhouse is far, far superior to the bastardized mishmash of Jeeves and Wooster, which I dislike almost as much as I dislike the more recent efforts to bring Tolkien and O'Brian to the screen. (But, as faithful readers know, that's a different rant.)
Not Good
The Belmont Club (who we finally blogrolled as we should have done long ago) has the latest on the Phillippines' cave to the bad guys.
If I were one of the smaller coalition governments like, say, El Salvador, I'd be getting real nervous. The bad guys may have finally realized over the past couple weeks that kidnapping and murdering Americans isn't going to make us go away. But successes like this suggest that they may be able to chip away at some of our smaller allies, with the goal of isolating us in the eyes of the World.
The Belmont Club (who we finally blogrolled as we should have done long ago) has the latest on the Phillippines' cave to the bad guys.
If I were one of the smaller coalition governments like, say, El Salvador, I'd be getting real nervous. The bad guys may have finally realized over the past couple weeks that kidnapping and murdering Americans isn't going to make us go away. But successes like this suggest that they may be able to chip away at some of our smaller allies, with the goal of isolating us in the eyes of the World.
Llamas Scoop NR
K-Lo over at the Corner posts this email query today:
Why yes. I said that very thing on July 3.
K-Lo over at the Corner posts this email query today:
DOLE-KEMP II (KERRY-EDWARDS, THAT IS) [KJL]
From an e-mail pal:
Has anyone compared Kerry-Edwards to Dole-Kemp? Senate stalwart who's tight with his party but can't excite anyone and has no vision reaches out to a guy who has a clear vision. Kemp had a history of getting elected, yes, but his and Edwards' reputations and functions are similar -- they are supposed to get the base excited with their core principles talks (for Kemp, supply-side economics, for Edwards, Two Americas redistribution). Kerry vs. Bush looks like Dole vs. Clinton -- popular incumbent looks weak because of intense scrutiny (on scandals for Clinton, on Iraq for Bush) but the Senator challenging him is uninspiring. The only difference is the media sides with the challenger this time.
Posted at 09:08 AM
Why yes. I said that very thing on July 3.
Dubya Gets It
The President gave a terrific speech at Oak Ridge, Tennessee yesterday. K-Lo has thoughtfully excerpted a powerful part. Read that and then go on to read the rest of it too.
I think this is a taste of the sort of thing we can expect to see this fall. Where and when the President should start going great guns is a matter of strategy that I am not really qualified to comment on [Ed. - Like you are on anything else? Shut up.] But it seems to me that this kind of clear, straight-forward message causes all the moonbat oil-for-joooos/conspiracy theory/Bush LIED!/gotcha rhetoric to shrivel up like a salted snail. I say again that if Kerry allows himself to go over to the Dark Side under the tutelage of Darth Moore and his pals, this is going to be a 55/45 election.
The President gave a terrific speech at Oak Ridge, Tennessee yesterday. K-Lo has thoughtfully excerpted a powerful part. Read that and then go on to read the rest of it too.
I think this is a taste of the sort of thing we can expect to see this fall. Where and when the President should start going great guns is a matter of strategy that I am not really qualified to comment on [Ed. - Like you are on anything else? Shut up.] But it seems to me that this kind of clear, straight-forward message causes all the moonbat oil-for-joooos/conspiracy theory/Bush LIED!/gotcha rhetoric to shrivel up like a salted snail. I say again that if Kerry allows himself to go over to the Dark Side under the tutelage of Darth Moore and his pals, this is going to be a 55/45 election.
I've Had All I Can Stand And I'm Not Going To Take It Anymore!
As all three of our regular readers probably know, my firm's Internet filtering software bans me from Munuviana. (Actually, I'm not all that upset about this, as there is going to be a change in a few weeks that should alleviate the problem.)
But what drives me nuts is trying to visit some of my favorite mu.nu sites at home - folks like John and Ted and Lawren and Rae, not to mention our own new digs. It took me an hour last night using my clunky old AOL dial-up to do what I ought to be able to do in ten minutes.
Between the tech problems of work and home, especially regarding mu.nu, and because my home service is so poor that I can't do much more than read other people's sites and then only about 1/2 the time, I feel a little bit like Captain Kirk floating around in the Tholian Web.
Well. This may be the thing that finally propels me to take a good, hard look at cable modem. I haven't checked the numbers yet, but I'll bet Comcast's complete package is pretty competitive when stacked up next to what we pay for DirecTV and AOL combined.
I'll let you know.
As all three of our regular readers probably know, my firm's Internet filtering software bans me from Munuviana. (Actually, I'm not all that upset about this, as there is going to be a change in a few weeks that should alleviate the problem.)
But what drives me nuts is trying to visit some of my favorite mu.nu sites at home - folks like John and Ted and Lawren and Rae, not to mention our own new digs. It took me an hour last night using my clunky old AOL dial-up to do what I ought to be able to do in ten minutes.
Between the tech problems of work and home, especially regarding mu.nu, and because my home service is so poor that I can't do much more than read other people's sites and then only about 1/2 the time, I feel a little bit like Captain Kirk floating around in the Tholian Web.
Well. This may be the thing that finally propels me to take a good, hard look at cable modem. I haven't checked the numbers yet, but I'll bet Comcast's complete package is pretty competitive when stacked up next to what we pay for DirecTV and AOL combined.
I'll let you know.
Monday, July 12, 2004
Gratuitous Llama Networking Tip
If you're a recent college or grad school grad and you're trying to hit up alumni some place for contacts and opportunities, all well and good. But for Heaven's sake, if you're calling people, keep track of your calls.
I just got two messages from the same guy in the space of about fifteen minutes, saying exactly the same thing both times. Kids, this looks sloppy - as if you're not paying any actual attention to names, but are just working your way down a list. (I know, I know. Of course that's exactly what you're doing. But part of playing the game is to make it look as much as possible as if you aren't.)
If you're a recent college or grad school grad and you're trying to hit up alumni some place for contacts and opportunities, all well and good. But for Heaven's sake, if you're calling people, keep track of your calls.
I just got two messages from the same guy in the space of about fifteen minutes, saying exactly the same thing both times. Kids, this looks sloppy - as if you're not paying any actual attention to names, but are just working your way down a list. (I know, I know. Of course that's exactly what you're doing. But part of playing the game is to make it look as much as possible as if you aren't.)
The Cat's Oooout of the Bag!
I guess the Democratic Underground and MoveOn.Org are going to start firebombing my house because according to this quiz, I am, indeed, a Neo-con.
According to the quiz, Neo-cons:
Well, I dunno about building an empire (unless, of course, I am selected as Emperor), but this sounds about right. (And I'm not even a Joooooooooo!!!) Also, there's no "neo" about it - I've always had these leanings.
So sue me.
Yips! to Mud, Blood & Beer, who in turn were found via Dr. Rusty, who is doing some kinda weird voodoo/Darth Vader/Steve Austin thing....
I guess the Democratic Underground and MoveOn.Org are going to start firebombing my house because according to this quiz, I am, indeed, a Neo-con.
According to the quiz, Neo-cons:
- Want the US to be the world's unchallenged superpower
- Share unwavering support for Israel
- Support American unilateral action
- Support preemptive strikes to remove perceived threats to US security
- Promote the development of an American empire
- Equate American power with the potential for world peace
- Seek to democratize the Arab world
- Push regime change in states deemed threats to the US or its allies
Well, I dunno about building an empire (unless, of course, I am selected as Emperor), but this sounds about right. (And I'm not even a Joooooooooo!!!) Also, there's no "neo" about it - I've always had these leanings.
So sue me.
Yips! to Mud, Blood & Beer, who in turn were found via Dr. Rusty, who is doing some kinda weird voodoo/Darth Vader/Steve Austin thing....
Gratuitous Disgruntled Baiting
Interesting piece from Matt Navarre. Let's Dowdify it, shall we?
Are you familiar with the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish best served cold? It is very cold....in cyberspace.
Interesting piece from Matt Navarre. Let's Dowdify it, shall we?
God Of Thunder
Man, some days going out to lunch is expensive.
Especially when it includes a trip......
I needed ....., you see. But while I was there I, of course, took the opportunity..... [E]xpensive...expensive.... All in all, a pleasant way to spend a lunch hour.
But then I saw this little beauty. On sale. For $499.
Drool...
I'd seen this a couple of weeks ago, but it was $850 and I was looking for ...pi..[l]...l...s anyway.
After ......just buying it[,] I chose to do....
Who[ah]... [A]mazing... yes......
I almost didn't buy [the Fiance].... [W]e do need to save money for the....Amp[phetamines].
Oh. My. God.
I've owned a lot....in the last 20 years, some very expensive...[V]ery high..... And I don't remember any.... this good. The thing rumbles like Thor calling thunder. It's unreal, big, fat bottom nice clear.....highs. Just friggin' beautiful. And it['s] like a dream, too.
It's on...... Is it next friday yet?
(Of course, now I want......And I still want ....She just doesn't understand why I need "all these....".)
(And now that I think...I forgot.....Dang.)
Are you familiar with the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish best served cold? It is very cold....in cyberspace.
Oops.
1.77 metric tons of nuclear materials removed by the Coalition from Iraq.
but, but, but, but, but, BUSH LIED........Chevy Chase said so!
1.77 metric tons of nuclear materials removed by the Coalition from Iraq.
but, but, but, but, but, BUSH LIED........Chevy Chase said so!
Oh, A Wiseguy, Eh?
A gratuitous llama joke:
From our friend at Pith & Vinegar. He'll be there all week.....
A gratuitous llama joke:
There was once a herd of llamas that lived next to a herd of cows -
separated only by a small fence. The cows would trick the young llamas
into
coming over near the fence, then when they got close enough, they would
grab them and pull them over to their side. At that point, they would
kick
the llama around using him like a soccer ball. They did this for a few
hours every day until they tired of it.
The moral of the story?
Llamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cow toys...
From our friend at Pith & Vinegar. He'll be there all week.....
Super-subtle marketing secrets of the Llamabutchers
BUY THIS BOOK NOW!!!
UPDATE: Welcome Hugh Hewitt fans! While you're here, be sure to check out our other Llama offerings - we think you'll be glad you did. Yip! Yip!
Personally, I'm going to use them as early stocking-stuffers around campus....
BUY THIS BOOK NOW!!!
UPDATE: Welcome Hugh Hewitt fans! While you're here, be sure to check out our other Llama offerings - we think you'll be glad you did. Yip! Yip!
Personally, I'm going to use them as early stocking-stuffers around campus....
Attention Parents! You Can Stop Making Little Johnny Play With Dolls Now!
Michael the Blowhard calls attention to a new book by Stephen Rhoads entitled Taking Sex Differences Seriously. Rhoads guarantees his place as the chief effigy to be burnt at the annual fall bonfires of Gender Studies faculties across the country by arguing that there are differences between men and women when it comes to sex and sexual behavior and that these differences are, gasp!, wired into us, not the construct of eviiiiil male social hegemony.
Michael relays the following assertions from the book:
Well, call me an unenlightened Neanderthal (it's been done before), but my reaction on reading these was "Well, duuuuuh."
The book looks interesting. I understand that Rhoads is not advocating letting our hormones run free, and indeed suggests that the worst impulses of both sexes, particularly men, need to be reined in. (And silly ol' me - I always thought that's what marriage was supposed to do!) Rather, he argues that pretending there aren't natural differences between men and women is a stupid basis on which to try and correct social imbalances caused by those differences.
BTW, go to the Amazon link and have a look at the cover of the book. Is that Star Trek's "Q" on the left?
Michael the Blowhard calls attention to a new book by Stephen Rhoads entitled Taking Sex Differences Seriously. Rhoads guarantees his place as the chief effigy to be burnt at the annual fall bonfires of Gender Studies faculties across the country by arguing that there are differences between men and women when it comes to sex and sexual behavior and that these differences are, gasp!, wired into us, not the construct of eviiiiil male social hegemony.
Michael relays the following assertions from the book:
How often do men think about sex? And how often do women think about sex? "On average, men say three to five times a day. Women say several times a week or several times a month."
"One survey of men and women over 45 asked how often they felt sexual desire. More than seven times as many men as women said more than once a day, and more than four times as many women as men said 'not at all'."
"Women say they engage in sex to share emotions and love. Men give reasons that are more narrowly physical, such as need, sexual gratification, and release. And when deprived of sex, men are much more likely than women to become morose and irritable."
"Women with medical conditions producing extremely high levels of testosterone have male-like sexual arousal patterns and they desire sex with strangers. When they voluntarily have their condition treated, they retain an interest in sex but are pleased to be 'relieved of clitoral hypersensitivity'."
In their sexual fantasies, "women are two and one half times as likely to focus on the personal and emotional characteristics of a partner; men four times as likely to focus on the physical characteristics. Women are twice as likely as men to find 'the idea of anonymous sex not at all appealing'."
Well, call me an unenlightened Neanderthal (it's been done before), but my reaction on reading these was "Well, duuuuuh."
The book looks interesting. I understand that Rhoads is not advocating letting our hormones run free, and indeed suggests that the worst impulses of both sexes, particularly men, need to be reined in. (And silly ol' me - I always thought that's what marriage was supposed to do!) Rather, he argues that pretending there aren't natural differences between men and women is a stupid basis on which to try and correct social imbalances caused by those differences.
BTW, go to the Amazon link and have a look at the cover of the book. Is that Star Trek's "Q" on the left?
More Bach-On-The-Piano Ranting
In a topic that has been on my mind lately, Jessica Duchen compares piano recordings of Bach's English Suite No. 3 in G minor by way of introducing us to a pianist friend of hers who will be playing the piece at an upcoming concert.
Meanwhile, here is one Donald Satz writing on the same topic. He covers a couple of the performers noted by Jessica (Schiff and Gould, to be precise) plus several others.
Now Jessica is a real musician and therefore a ringer, so perhaps it's foolhardy of me to carry on about this sort of thing while linking to her piece. Nonetheless, I studied and performed the English Suite No. 2 in A minor back in the day. I can play the prelude of No. 3 reasonably well (sometimes). I have heard many recordings of all the English Suites, both on piano and on harpsichord. So I have at least some claim to know what I'm talking about from the POV of a strictly amateur hack and informed listener. Having said all that, to me the crispness of tone that the harpsichord provides is indispensable to getting full enjoyment out of these pieces. Too often, Bach's keyboard music comes out sounding like mush on a piano, no matter how brilliant the execution. It's simply a function of the instrument, not the performer. (I also note that the dynamic range of the piano lent by its hammer action and pedals leaves room for all sorts of mischief in the name of "vision". But that's a different rant.)
I play Bach on the piano because I have to. Why anyone would do so when they have the option to play a harpsichord instead is completely beyond me.
In a topic that has been on my mind lately, Jessica Duchen compares piano recordings of Bach's English Suite No. 3 in G minor by way of introducing us to a pianist friend of hers who will be playing the piece at an upcoming concert.
Meanwhile, here is one Donald Satz writing on the same topic. He covers a couple of the performers noted by Jessica (Schiff and Gould, to be precise) plus several others.
Now Jessica is a real musician and therefore a ringer, so perhaps it's foolhardy of me to carry on about this sort of thing while linking to her piece. Nonetheless, I studied and performed the English Suite No. 2 in A minor back in the day. I can play the prelude of No. 3 reasonably well (sometimes). I have heard many recordings of all the English Suites, both on piano and on harpsichord. So I have at least some claim to know what I'm talking about from the POV of a strictly amateur hack and informed listener. Having said all that, to me the crispness of tone that the harpsichord provides is indispensable to getting full enjoyment out of these pieces. Too often, Bach's keyboard music comes out sounding like mush on a piano, no matter how brilliant the execution. It's simply a function of the instrument, not the performer. (I also note that the dynamic range of the piano lent by its hammer action and pedals leaves room for all sorts of mischief in the name of "vision". But that's a different rant.)
I play Bach on the piano because I have to. Why anyone would do so when they have the option to play a harpsichord instead is completely beyond me.
Aaaaahh! It Burns! It Burrnnsss!!!
The Bookish Gardener has come up with a 70's dance mix! Read if you dare and then try to stop these tunes from leaking into your brain for the rest of the day.
You and my wife, Chan. What is it with you people?
The Bookish Gardener has come up with a 70's dance mix! Read if you dare and then try to stop these tunes from leaking into your brain for the rest of the day.
You and my wife, Chan. What is it with you people?
FRENCH LEADERS CONDEMN ANTI-SEMITIC ATTACK AGAINST MOTHER, CHILD
Because, it turns out, they weren't Jews! Otherwise, hey, what's the big deal....
I hate what has become of France, and am only comforted by the thought of what locks the sphincter late at night of Jacques Chirac: the Sixth Republic of France, Marianne in a Burqa.
Because, it turns out, they weren't Jews! Otherwise, hey, what's the big deal....
I hate what has become of France, and am only comforted by the thought of what locks the sphincter late at night of Jacques Chirac: the Sixth Republic of France, Marianne in a Burqa.
The whole "they have plans to cancel the election!" thing is already pissing me off...
Have a gander at this bit of crap: the democratic underground at its finest!
The conlaw prof list-serv I subscribe to has this inane posting about the issue:
Me, personally, I like the specter of the 04 Hanging Chad dispute---what do you do when a guy named Chad is blown up by a suicide bomber in the voting area, and all that's left of him is his hand hanging on the voting machine, with his choice indicated but without the "cast the vote" button pushed.....
That's morbid, of course, but that's exactly the point: the Super Bowl was held under unprecedented levels of security, including facial recognition cameras, snipers, plus of course security searches. Are the leftist professor types advocating searches and metal detectors at polling places?
This is a serious question that needs sober analysis, and unfortunately I think the political class just aint up to it. I sure as hell hope that I'm right that we've seriously degraded AQ enough in their ability to act outside of their comfort zone of 200 miles surrounding Riyadh. But, to be on the safe side, I sure as hell won't be standing with the crowd outside the Today show's studios in the week before the election...
Fortunately, THIS election will not be called of, and, as a bonus feature, you can vote as often as you like! Imitate the Cook County Democrats and vote early and often!
Have a gander at this bit of crap: the democratic underground at its finest!
The conlaw prof list-serv I subscribe to has this inane posting about the issue:
With respect, I think those are the wrong questions.
The right question is: Has the Administration a plan for holding elections no matter how great the threat or actuality of terrorist attacks on Election Day?
If we could hold the Super Bowl to decide the outcome of the football season during the first war with Iraq, as we did on the theory that otherwise the enemy wins, we ought to be able to hold a presidential election in the face of a threat, and if there are attacks, then to have a plan to set up voting booths in hospital emergency rooms, shelters and aid stations.
Otherwise we don't have the country we're trying to preserve.
Even worse, we have the specter of an administration, fearing the election results, cancelling the election until the stink wears off.
Me, personally, I like the specter of the 04 Hanging Chad dispute---what do you do when a guy named Chad is blown up by a suicide bomber in the voting area, and all that's left of him is his hand hanging on the voting machine, with his choice indicated but without the "cast the vote" button pushed.....
That's morbid, of course, but that's exactly the point: the Super Bowl was held under unprecedented levels of security, including facial recognition cameras, snipers, plus of course security searches. Are the leftist professor types advocating searches and metal detectors at polling places?
This is a serious question that needs sober analysis, and unfortunately I think the political class just aint up to it. I sure as hell hope that I'm right that we've seriously degraded AQ enough in their ability to act outside of their comfort zone of 200 miles surrounding Riyadh. But, to be on the safe side, I sure as hell won't be standing with the crowd outside the Today show's studios in the week before the election...
Fortunately, THIS election will not be called of, and, as a bonus feature, you can vote as often as you like! Imitate the Cook County Democrats and vote early and often!
Embracing The Dark Side
Drudge busts MoveOn.Org for still carrying the famous "Bush Is A Nazi" ad, despite claims that they had yanked it some time ago. Wankers.
As a matter of fact, I think these guys, together with the likes of Michael Moore and the Hollywood Liberals, pose a clear and present danger to the Kerry Campaign. If Kerry becomes identified with this brand of wild-eyed, spittle-flying hysteria, either because he's tempted to jump on the "Bush Lied" bandwagon or because he simply doesn't have anything else in particular to say, what possible chance will he have to pick up any middle of the road swing voters, without whom he is toast?
Update: I can't open the link Drudge gives at the moment, but here it is.
Further Update: Cap'n Ed documents Kerry's flirtation with the Sith Left, in particular noting a WaPo article from this weekend that I read and meant to link.
Drudge busts MoveOn.Org for still carrying the famous "Bush Is A Nazi" ad, despite claims that they had yanked it some time ago. Wankers.
As a matter of fact, I think these guys, together with the likes of Michael Moore and the Hollywood Liberals, pose a clear and present danger to the Kerry Campaign. If Kerry becomes identified with this brand of wild-eyed, spittle-flying hysteria, either because he's tempted to jump on the "Bush Lied" bandwagon or because he simply doesn't have anything else in particular to say, what possible chance will he have to pick up any middle of the road swing voters, without whom he is toast?
Update: I can't open the link Drudge gives at the moment, but here it is.
Further Update: Cap'n Ed documents Kerry's flirtation with the Sith Left, in particular noting a WaPo article from this weekend that I read and meant to link.
Payback's a bitch
Willow whomps us over to this site, the official home of the soon to be released documentary "Michael Moore Hates America."
I can't WAIT for this movie to come out.
Willow whomps us over to this site, the official home of the soon to be released documentary "Michael Moore Hates America."
I can't WAIT for this movie to come out.
I'll read any blog that uses the word "Poltroon" on a regular basis
The irreplaceable, irredeemable Tim Worstall is in an outrage over impending cuts to the British military: post 1 and post 2.
He notes that with the current plan, the British Navy will become smaller than the French Navy for the first time since before Louis XIV was King.
The irreplaceable, irredeemable Tim Worstall is in an outrage over impending cuts to the British military: post 1 and post 2.
He notes that with the current plan, the British Navy will become smaller than the French Navy for the first time since before Louis XIV was King.
The Passion of the Nomar
Sheila O'Malley is taking a vacation and has a guest blogger, a buddy who is going by the codename "Blue." Think Latka having to drive the cab. Hilarity ensues when....
Sheila O'Malley is taking a vacation and has a guest blogger, a buddy who is going by the codename "Blue." Think Latka having to drive the cab. Hilarity ensues when....
In case you missed it
Eloise at Spitbull has the latest twisted children's story title.
To be perfectly honest, I'd prefer to read any of these gems to my kids rather than any story written by a celebrity. Enough already with the kid books "written" by celebrities! AAAAAGGHHH!
Eloise at Spitbull has the latest twisted children's story title.
To be perfectly honest, I'd prefer to read any of these gems to my kids rather than any story written by a celebrity. Enough already with the kid books "written" by celebrities! AAAAAGGHHH!
SSSSSSSSSSSSH-WHACK! That's going to leave a mark!
The ever-vigilant New England Republican has got all the linkety-link latest on the Joe Wilson "So I lied, big deal!" story.
Just for the record, you read it hear first, back at the end of April, with our "The Politics of Un-Truth: An Opportunist's Memoir" cover....
The ever-vigilant New England Republican has got all the linkety-link latest on the Joe Wilson "So I lied, big deal!" story.
Just for the record, you read it hear first, back at the end of April, with our "The Politics of Un-Truth: An Opportunist's Memoir" cover....
Wraith-Rabbit Watch Update
It looks like the Battle of the Butcher's Garden is now down largely to me versus a very young, very small rabbit. This one seems to have a talent for finding gaps in the wire it can get under - I'm amazed at how small a hole it can exploit - and I have been slowly tracking its progress around the perimeter, reenforceing the places where it has got through. I was pleased to see that when I spotted it yesterday and went after it, it broke back away from a hole I had plugged two days ago and went out via a new exit, which I have now also plugged. Sooner or later, it will run out of options.
I was musing out loud over the idea of buying a trap if this keeps up, the pellet gun idea being hopelessly hung up in Conference. The Butcher's Wife is okay with this alternative so long as I promise to release any captures humanely. (Yeah...sure. Of course! Honest, Hon, I was taking him to the park but as we crossed the Beltway, he sort of jumped!)
Anyway, as we discussed this, my six year old weighed in, stumping up to me and saying, "You're NOT Mr. MacGregor! You're NOT Mr. MacGregor! You don't want to hurt the bunny!" I said, "No, not hurt it, but maybe eat it." She didn't think that was s'damn funny. Sigh. Where did I go wrong? When I was her age, I used to be fascinated watching my father field-dress a deer. And I would have loved the chance to shoot at a rabbit. And speaking of which, just wait till the girl finds out that my neighbor's father wants to come down and bow-hunt the woods behind our house this fall. Probably end up joining PETA and Greenpeace.
It looks like the Battle of the Butcher's Garden is now down largely to me versus a very young, very small rabbit. This one seems to have a talent for finding gaps in the wire it can get under - I'm amazed at how small a hole it can exploit - and I have been slowly tracking its progress around the perimeter, reenforceing the places where it has got through. I was pleased to see that when I spotted it yesterday and went after it, it broke back away from a hole I had plugged two days ago and went out via a new exit, which I have now also plugged. Sooner or later, it will run out of options.
I was musing out loud over the idea of buying a trap if this keeps up, the pellet gun idea being hopelessly hung up in Conference. The Butcher's Wife is okay with this alternative so long as I promise to release any captures humanely. (Yeah...sure. Of course! Honest, Hon, I was taking him to the park but as we crossed the Beltway, he sort of jumped!)
Anyway, as we discussed this, my six year old weighed in, stumping up to me and saying, "You're NOT Mr. MacGregor! You're NOT Mr. MacGregor! You don't want to hurt the bunny!" I said, "No, not hurt it, but maybe eat it." She didn't think that was s'damn funny. Sigh. Where did I go wrong? When I was her age, I used to be fascinated watching my father field-dress a deer. And I would have loved the chance to shoot at a rabbit. And speaking of which, just wait till the girl finds out that my neighbor's father wants to come down and bow-hunt the woods behind our house this fall. Probably end up joining PETA and Greenpeace.
Shameless link whoring
Rusty Shackleford, in his now famous post about the seven deadly sins of blogging, forgot one of the most virulent and unforgiveable of all:
shameless pshop-inspired ass-kissing link whoring.
Like this, for instance:
"I am the Commissar!"
"No, I'm the Commissar!"
"Screw you, you Roman pansies! I'm the Commissar!"
Rusty Shackleford, in his now famous post about the seven deadly sins of blogging, forgot one of the most virulent and unforgiveable of all:
shameless pshop-inspired ass-kissing link whoring.
Like this, for instance:
"I am the Commissar!"
"No, I'm the Commissar!"
"Screw you, you Roman pansies! I'm the Commissar!"
He haaaaaates it! Tricksy Hobbitses with their extendeded releaaaaaaases!
Good news for billions of movie fans, bad news for the five Tolkien purists out there. Maybe you guys can get together and move to rural Pennsylvania and become like the neo-Amish or something; centuries from now, tourists will come from all around to gawk at your ways, and wonder, there but for the grace of our ancestors thinking the Lord of the Rings were fun movies, go I....
(From Freakin' Jen, who's on a roll as of late. Having a stiff turn up in your dumpster seems to have a way of doing that....)
YIPS! from Robbo. If you want to know, I'll be out pricing horse-drawn buggies the rest of the morning.
Good news for billions of movie fans, bad news for the five Tolkien purists out there. Maybe you guys can get together and move to rural Pennsylvania and become like the neo-Amish or something; centuries from now, tourists will come from all around to gawk at your ways, and wonder, there but for the grace of our ancestors thinking the Lord of the Rings were fun movies, go I....
(From Freakin' Jen, who's on a roll as of late. Having a stiff turn up in your dumpster seems to have a way of doing that....)
YIPS! from Robbo. If you want to know, I'll be out pricing horse-drawn buggies the rest of the morning.
The HMQ: why Zoloft, cough syrup, and paint fumes make a magical combo!
Allegedly on a seven week hiatus, it's becoming more like the proverbial three-hour cruise for the Crack Young Staff at the Hatemongers' Quarterly. Just head on over and see them bust a cap all over the "Death of Theory" by comparing it to the "Death" of Elvis, chronicle the Top 100 Reasons to Hate VH-1, and of course take a much-deserved croquet mallet to men in ponytails.
Allegedly on a seven week hiatus, it's becoming more like the proverbial three-hour cruise for the Crack Young Staff at the Hatemongers' Quarterly. Just head on over and see them bust a cap all over the "Death of Theory" by comparing it to the "Death" of Elvis, chronicle the Top 100 Reasons to Hate VH-1, and of course take a much-deserved croquet mallet to men in ponytails.
All Hail the Geek Empire!
Geek Empire has some interesting stuff (as usual!), along with this gem about how community colleges are actually much more of the real thing than their more celebrated snobby 4 year peers.
Geek Empire has some interesting stuff (as usual!), along with this gem about how community colleges are actually much more of the real thing than their more celebrated snobby 4 year peers.
Would You Take An IOU From These People?
Check out the latest installment of the pig's breakfast that is the upcoming Democratic National Convention - an attempt to get cabbies to subsidize delegates' transportation from Logan Airport.
Not only would the cabbies have to eat over two thirds of their normal fare for such a trip, they'd have to apply to the DNC to get the vouchers redeemed. Good luck with that.
This is just plain stupid. As the article notes, the easiest thing to do is have delegates pay cash for the ride at the normal rate and then have the delegates apply to the DNC for reimbursement of whatever amount the DNC thinks is appropriate. Leave the poor cabbies out of it - they've got bills to pay and families to feed and not much room in their budgets for bankrolling fat-cat politicoes.
That's the Dems - always looking out for the Little Guy. Not.
UPDATE: 'Course, these are the same guys who are handling blogger press credentials.
I've an idea this whole Convention is going to be more notable for its wildly hilarious screw-ups than anything else. (Lord knows, it ain't gonna be remembered for the charisma of its Star Attraction.) This makes me think there may be an opportunity for some new photoshopping. How 'bout Paris Hilton in "The Convention Life"? Steve?
Check out the latest installment of the pig's breakfast that is the upcoming Democratic National Convention - an attempt to get cabbies to subsidize delegates' transportation from Logan Airport.
Not only would the cabbies have to eat over two thirds of their normal fare for such a trip, they'd have to apply to the DNC to get the vouchers redeemed. Good luck with that.
This is just plain stupid. As the article notes, the easiest thing to do is have delegates pay cash for the ride at the normal rate and then have the delegates apply to the DNC for reimbursement of whatever amount the DNC thinks is appropriate. Leave the poor cabbies out of it - they've got bills to pay and families to feed and not much room in their budgets for bankrolling fat-cat politicoes.
That's the Dems - always looking out for the Little Guy. Not.
UPDATE: 'Course, these are the same guys who are handling blogger press credentials.
I've an idea this whole Convention is going to be more notable for its wildly hilarious screw-ups than anything else. (Lord knows, it ain't gonna be remembered for the charisma of its Star Attraction.) This makes me think there may be an opportunity for some new photoshopping. How 'bout Paris Hilton in "The Convention Life"? Steve?
A Handy Guide to North Carolina for your Nancy-boy Blue State Trust Fund Socialists who've done gone up and picked John Edwards for the VP slot
Now, I'm sure you'll join with me, along with all real Americans who've just eaten lunch, who have only two words for the new Kerry/Edwards Breck/Dreck Dream Team: Get A Room! Okay, that's three words, but fellas, the pandering for Andrew Sullivan's endorsement has gone a wee bit too far....
Edwards is a strategically brilliant choice: let's get a guy on the ticket who's won one (1) (uno) election. I mean, not counting student council, and greater Raliegh-Metropolitan area ambulance chaser of the year.
One election.
It's like a Drew Barrymore movie: Never Been Reelected! Adam Sandler stars as country boy political consultant Bree Pancake-Housemann, who needs to win a bet with his long-time rival fellow consultant Shady McDrawers (Rob Lowe) by helping political neophyte Drew Barrymore get elected Vice President of the United States. Hilarity ensues when she makes lots and lots of Halliburton and Rogaine jokes: fortunately, the country is not at war and so the question of who the vice president is doesn't matter.
Seriously, though, now that the blue-blood blue-staters have selected Edwards, they need to understand a few things about North Carolina that, since it's a red state and all, they wouldn't be familiar with. So without further ado, here's the Llamabutchers' guide for inquisitive blue-staters on all-things North Carolina:
1. John Edwards graduated from "State." If you must, you can call it "En Cee State," but really, it's just State.
2. Some handy new acronyms: SEC does not stand for "Securities and Exchange Commission" (you know, the baddies who took away Pa-Pa's yacht over some silly insider trading issues), but rather for "Seriously Evil Conference," aka the Southeastern Conference. The SEC is home to all the evil that is Auburn (allegedly a university in Alabama). USC's mascot, btw, is not the Trojans but the Gamecocks (or COCKS for short). State belongs to the ACC (aka "Almighty God's Choice of Conferences, with the "G" silent, or, to some, the Atlantic Coast Conference). Now while the ACC does include Clemson, allegedly a university in South Carolina, the ACC is and always will be a basketball conference: this latest expansion crap is being forced down their throats by evil corporate Halliburton network types trying to expand tee-vee coverage by getting them to take such unworth schools as Miami Penitentary and, errr, Boston College. Rumors that they were trying to crack the NYC market by offering a spot to Hofstra remain unconfirmed.
3. "Tobacco Road" is not a conspiracy by corporate slimey Republicans to pollute the healthy lungs of kids from around the world; rather, it's the home of the greatest basketball rivalry in the world: State, Chapel Hill, Wake, and Duke. Duke, aka "The University of New Jersey, Durham campus" is the source of all evil in the world not generated by the SEC.
4. Mayberry and Andy Griffith are not ironic in any way. Make fun of Aunt Bea and we'll whup your ass.
5. The OBX is not some new punk band or sport on ESPN 8; rather, it's the Outer Banks, which is just like Nantucket except the sand is powdery instead of rocky, the water is warm instead of cold, the jellyfish don't sting, and the place isn't overrun by billionaire pricks (like John Kerry).
Last, and perhaps most important:
6. BBQ---Barbeque does not describe the grill, but rather WHAT is being grilled, and how. DO NOT invite your new friends over for a BBQ and then serve hot garden dogs and tofu burgers: BBQ refers not to your new $5000 Weber but rather the pig you are cooking, and how. Great controversy attaches to what makes real BBQ---this link courtesy of BBQ maven Chai-Rista is a good place to start---but one thing veterans of this war will all agree on is someone who is a true Philistine on these issues. We're not going to go into the issues of "wet" versus "dry" (other than to note that "Wet" is the one true BBQ), not to mention the debates worthy of 16th century wars over transubstantiation, over which type of wood to use--after all, this IS a family blog. On these issues, I'll defer as always to Chai-Rista's own Pep, who is kind of like the Obi-Wan Kenobi of BBQ.
Oh, and when they say slaw, it means either on the sandwich or on the side. "On" is the correct answer.
One more, for the ladies:
7. Cape Fear---Gregory Peck yes, Nick Nolte no.
That's it for now. If you've got suggestions for future editions of this, drop a note in the Tasty Bits Mail Sack at llamabutchers@yahoo.com
Now, I'm sure you'll join with me, along with all real Americans who've just eaten lunch, who have only two words for the new Kerry/Edwards Breck/Dreck Dream Team: Get A Room! Okay, that's three words, but fellas, the pandering for Andrew Sullivan's endorsement has gone a wee bit too far....
Edwards is a strategically brilliant choice: let's get a guy on the ticket who's won one (1) (uno) election. I mean, not counting student council, and greater Raliegh-Metropolitan area ambulance chaser of the year.
One election.
It's like a Drew Barrymore movie: Never Been Reelected! Adam Sandler stars as country boy political consultant Bree Pancake-Housemann, who needs to win a bet with his long-time rival fellow consultant Shady McDrawers (Rob Lowe) by helping political neophyte Drew Barrymore get elected Vice President of the United States. Hilarity ensues when she makes lots and lots of Halliburton and Rogaine jokes: fortunately, the country is not at war and so the question of who the vice president is doesn't matter.
Seriously, though, now that the blue-blood blue-staters have selected Edwards, they need to understand a few things about North Carolina that, since it's a red state and all, they wouldn't be familiar with. So without further ado, here's the Llamabutchers' guide for inquisitive blue-staters on all-things North Carolina:
1. John Edwards graduated from "State." If you must, you can call it "En Cee State," but really, it's just State.
2. Some handy new acronyms: SEC does not stand for "Securities and Exchange Commission" (you know, the baddies who took away Pa-Pa's yacht over some silly insider trading issues), but rather for "Seriously Evil Conference," aka the Southeastern Conference. The SEC is home to all the evil that is Auburn (allegedly a university in Alabama). USC's mascot, btw, is not the Trojans but the Gamecocks (or COCKS for short). State belongs to the ACC (aka "Almighty God's Choice of Conferences, with the "G" silent, or, to some, the Atlantic Coast Conference). Now while the ACC does include Clemson, allegedly a university in South Carolina, the ACC is and always will be a basketball conference: this latest expansion crap is being forced down their throats by evil corporate Halliburton network types trying to expand tee-vee coverage by getting them to take such unworth schools as Miami Penitentary and, errr, Boston College. Rumors that they were trying to crack the NYC market by offering a spot to Hofstra remain unconfirmed.
3. "Tobacco Road" is not a conspiracy by corporate slimey Republicans to pollute the healthy lungs of kids from around the world; rather, it's the home of the greatest basketball rivalry in the world: State, Chapel Hill, Wake, and Duke. Duke, aka "The University of New Jersey, Durham campus" is the source of all evil in the world not generated by the SEC.
4. Mayberry and Andy Griffith are not ironic in any way. Make fun of Aunt Bea and we'll whup your ass.
5. The OBX is not some new punk band or sport on ESPN 8; rather, it's the Outer Banks, which is just like Nantucket except the sand is powdery instead of rocky, the water is warm instead of cold, the jellyfish don't sting, and the place isn't overrun by billionaire pricks (like John Kerry).
Last, and perhaps most important:
6. BBQ---Barbeque does not describe the grill, but rather WHAT is being grilled, and how. DO NOT invite your new friends over for a BBQ and then serve hot garden dogs and tofu burgers: BBQ refers not to your new $5000 Weber but rather the pig you are cooking, and how. Great controversy attaches to what makes real BBQ---this link courtesy of BBQ maven Chai-Rista is a good place to start---but one thing veterans of this war will all agree on is someone who is a true Philistine on these issues. We're not going to go into the issues of "wet" versus "dry" (other than to note that "Wet" is the one true BBQ), not to mention the debates worthy of 16th century wars over transubstantiation, over which type of wood to use--after all, this IS a family blog. On these issues, I'll defer as always to Chai-Rista's own Pep, who is kind of like the Obi-Wan Kenobi of BBQ.
Oh, and when they say slaw, it means either on the sandwich or on the side. "On" is the correct answer.
One more, for the ladies:
7. Cape Fear---Gregory Peck yes, Nick Nolte no.
That's it for now. If you've got suggestions for future editions of this, drop a note in the Tasty Bits Mail Sack at llamabutchers@yahoo.com
A whiter shade of pale
Kathleen the Cake Eater, indulging in her alleged win in the Jane Austen Smackdown!(TM) (and let's just say in the glorious tradition of pro-wrestling the fix was in!), laments what our local chinese restaraunt likes to refer to as "crispy white meat." Let's just say the words "low-cut," "aloe," and "Christmas in July" are used and leave it at that....
Kathleen the Cake Eater, indulging in her alleged win in the Jane Austen Smackdown!(TM) (and let's just say in the glorious tradition of pro-wrestling the fix was in!), laments what our local chinese restaraunt likes to refer to as "crispy white meat." Let's just say the words "low-cut," "aloe," and "Christmas in July" are used and leave it at that....
Hot-diggity, a linkety-quiz to get the juice flowing on a monday morning
This is got to be one of the more original quizzes I've seen in awhile....(from All Things Jen)
Aint that the truth!
This is got to be one of the more original quizzes I've seen in awhile....(from All Things Jen)
| Which generic smut novel character are you? (With somewhat relevant pictures!) The Rascally Unshaven Rogue Everybody loves a rebel, and the unshaven rogue is no exception. With your mannish stubble, sly expression, and sinful proficiency with a weapon, you have a way with women unmatched by any other, not even Shaft or James Bond.
|
| Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests. |
Aint that the truth!
Gratuitous Llama Weekend Culture Roundup
In celebration of the Butcher's Wife's birthday, we went and saw The Producers at the Kennedy Center Saturday night. Owing to budgetary constraints, the vast majority of our theatrical outings these days are to local community theatres. While these folks try hard and there are occasional gems of talent, this is, after all, amateur hack work. It's nice to splurge every now and then to catch a really first-class production like this one. (BTW, the last time I saw a Broadway show at the Kennedy, was when I was dragged, kicking and screaming, to see Phantom of the Opera. What drek! IMHO, Andrew Lloyd Webber deserves to be locked in a room for eternity and forced to listen to his own music. That'll learn him.)
Anyway, the kind of folks who hang around the Butcher's Shop might be interested to know that the part of Leo in the road show of The Producers is played by Alan Ruck. Of course, everyone remembers him as Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but I thought he deserved an Oscar nomination for his immortal line, "Rabbit is good. Rabbit is wiiiise," from a certain other movie favorite around here. (5 points if you can name it.)
And speaking of movies, what with all the talk about Jane Austen around here the past few weeks, we finally decided to rent Emma. (I had never seen it before.) All I can say is that if this was the only exposure I ever had to the story, I would hate Emma - the movie seemed mostly to be a vehicle for showing how precious Gwyneth Paltrow can be and didn't do any justice to Austen's character. (And before anybody gets upset, in no way am I implying that our friend Kathleen bases her dislike of Emma on the movie - you've only to read her essays to see she really knows what she's talking about. But I'd be willing to bet there are other people who, having seen the movie, would not be inclined to bother with the book. This is one of the reasons why I loathe screen adaptations so much.)
In celebration of the Butcher's Wife's birthday, we went and saw The Producers at the Kennedy Center Saturday night. Owing to budgetary constraints, the vast majority of our theatrical outings these days are to local community theatres. While these folks try hard and there are occasional gems of talent, this is, after all, amateur hack work. It's nice to splurge every now and then to catch a really first-class production like this one. (BTW, the last time I saw a Broadway show at the Kennedy, was when I was dragged, kicking and screaming, to see Phantom of the Opera. What drek! IMHO, Andrew Lloyd Webber deserves to be locked in a room for eternity and forced to listen to his own music. That'll learn him.)
Anyway, the kind of folks who hang around the Butcher's Shop might be interested to know that the part of Leo in the road show of The Producers is played by Alan Ruck. Of course, everyone remembers him as Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but I thought he deserved an Oscar nomination for his immortal line, "Rabbit is good. Rabbit is wiiiise," from a certain other movie favorite around here. (5 points if you can name it.)
And speaking of movies, what with all the talk about Jane Austen around here the past few weeks, we finally decided to rent Emma. (I had never seen it before.) All I can say is that if this was the only exposure I ever had to the story, I would hate Emma - the movie seemed mostly to be a vehicle for showing how precious Gwyneth Paltrow can be and didn't do any justice to Austen's character. (And before anybody gets upset, in no way am I implying that our friend Kathleen bases her dislike of Emma on the movie - you've only to read her essays to see she really knows what she's talking about. But I'd be willing to bet there are other people who, having seen the movie, would not be inclined to bother with the book. This is one of the reasons why I loathe screen adaptations so much.)
Sunday, July 11, 2004
Gratuitous Musical Posting
A few months back, I was musing about an old record I once had that had snippets of various famous piano concerti minus the solo part. The idea was to play the record and play along on the keyboard yourself. I mentioned that at the time, this sort of thing was way out of my league. I also wondered if anyone put out a product like this these days.
I should have known, of course. The Butcher's Dad put me on to this by recently sending me a kit from an outfit called Music Minus One. This kit happens to be for Beethoven's Second Piano Concerto in B flat. It contains a complete score of the piece plus a CD that contains two full performances of it, one with the piano and one without.
This looks like it's going to be an immense amount of fun. Hopefully, it'll be ejeecashunal to the Llama-ettes (and to me) as well.
Flipping through the catalogue that came with it, I see that Music Minus One really has the waterfront covered. Not just piano concerti, but smaller ensemble works as well as four-hand pieces. All the usual suspects are represented (Bach through Rachmaninoff, roughly). It also includes a lot of jazz, Broadway and other styles. Further, it's not just piano - just about every standard instrument seems to be covered.
Thanks, Dad!
A few months back, I was musing about an old record I once had that had snippets of various famous piano concerti minus the solo part. The idea was to play the record and play along on the keyboard yourself. I mentioned that at the time, this sort of thing was way out of my league. I also wondered if anyone put out a product like this these days.
I should have known, of course. The Butcher's Dad put me on to this by recently sending me a kit from an outfit called Music Minus One. This kit happens to be for Beethoven's Second Piano Concerto in B flat. It contains a complete score of the piece plus a CD that contains two full performances of it, one with the piano and one without.
This looks like it's going to be an immense amount of fun. Hopefully, it'll be ejeecashunal to the Llama-ettes (and to me) as well.
Flipping through the catalogue that came with it, I see that Music Minus One really has the waterfront covered. Not just piano concerti, but smaller ensemble works as well as four-hand pieces. All the usual suspects are represented (Bach through Rachmaninoff, roughly). It also includes a lot of jazz, Broadway and other styles. Further, it's not just piano - just about every standard instrument seems to be covered.
Thanks, Dad!
Saturday, July 10, 2004
It finally clicked
It had been bugging me for a long time---who was it that John and Teresa Kerry Heinz remind me of?
Let's see.....he's a somewhat clueless haughty Francophile without common political sense and a fantasy-land inspired perspective of international affairs, but spends a lot of time on his hair, while she's a mysterious foreign-born wife who's large bags of dough bailed out the otherwise means-less aristocrat.......
and then it dawned on me:
Teresa Antoinette Kerry
and
King JFK XVI (ie, the sixteenth increasingly more pathetic incarnation of a pretender to the throne of Jack)
Well, I'm back from the beach and feeling zippy. More later from an overflowing sack of Tasty Bits goodies!
It had been bugging me for a long time---who was it that John and Teresa Kerry Heinz remind me of?
Let's see.....he's a somewhat clueless haughty Francophile without common political sense and a fantasy-land inspired perspective of international affairs, but spends a lot of time on his hair, while she's a mysterious foreign-born wife who's large bags of dough bailed out the otherwise means-less aristocrat.......
and then it dawned on me:
Teresa Antoinette Kerry
and
King JFK XVI (ie, the sixteenth increasingly more pathetic incarnation of a pretender to the throne of Jack)
Well, I'm back from the beach and feeling zippy. More later from an overflowing sack of Tasty Bits goodies!
Friday, July 09, 2004
Llama PSA
It appears that there are those in need of a refresher regarding the etiquette of men's room urinal use. Here are some bedrock rules to remember:
1. When choosing a urinal, always pick the one farthest away from one already in use. Only pick one right next to the one in use if no other option is available.
2. Talking should be kept to a minimum and should only take place if the parties know each other well. Acceptable topics include business, sports and weekend plans. Unacceptable topics include medical conditions, clothing fashions and observations about personal appearance.
3. Maintain eyes front at all times. Attempts to make eye contact are strictly forbidden.
That is all.
It appears that there are those in need of a refresher regarding the etiquette of men's room urinal use. Here are some bedrock rules to remember:
1. When choosing a urinal, always pick the one farthest away from one already in use. Only pick one right next to the one in use if no other option is available.
2. Talking should be kept to a minimum and should only take place if the parties know each other well. Acceptable topics include business, sports and weekend plans. Unacceptable topics include medical conditions, clothing fashions and observations about personal appearance.
3. Maintain eyes front at all times. Attempts to make eye contact are strictly forbidden.
That is all.
C.O.D. - Saturday Night Fever
Michele is marking the upcoming anniversary of the Death of Disco.
I'll spit on that grave too.
Michele is marking the upcoming anniversary of the Death of Disco.
I'll spit on that grave too.
I Want My DTV!
The Llama-ettes have gone and lost the remote to our DirecTV system. I mean really lost it. We've searched high and low for two straight days.
If you see the thing lying around, could you please send it back? Thanks!
The Llama-ettes have gone and lost the remote to our DirecTV system. I mean really lost it. We've searched high and low for two straight days.
If you see the thing lying around, could you please send it back? Thanks!
CIA Follies
James Joyner has a round-up of press stories on today's Senate report blasting the CIA for faulty intelligence leading up to the invasion of Iraq, together with some CIA damage-control efforts.
A couple of things occur to me.
First, isn't it a bit early to be saying there is no evidence of Iraqi WMD programs? From what I've read, we're still in the process of gathering in raw data, data that has to be translated, organized and analyzed. It may be correct to say the CIA drew overheated conclusions based on what it did have, but it's going to be years before we have a full picture of what was really there. And what about this damn Nigerian uranium thing? The most recent reports are now saying that Saddam did try to buy the stuff.
Second, so now what? Aside from the issue of how to reform the CIA, do we let Saddam walk?
Third, I would think those who were hoping to use this report as a hatchet against Dubya would be gnashing their teeth, since the news reports make pretty clear that the CIA's problems are systemic. Furthermore, as Michele notes, the Senate Committee found absolutely no evidence that the CIA came up with its assessments due to political pressure from the White House. None. Zip. Nada.
James Joyner has a round-up of press stories on today's Senate report blasting the CIA for faulty intelligence leading up to the invasion of Iraq, together with some CIA damage-control efforts.
A couple of things occur to me.
First, isn't it a bit early to be saying there is no evidence of Iraqi WMD programs? From what I've read, we're still in the process of gathering in raw data, data that has to be translated, organized and analyzed. It may be correct to say the CIA drew overheated conclusions based on what it did have, but it's going to be years before we have a full picture of what was really there. And what about this damn Nigerian uranium thing? The most recent reports are now saying that Saddam did try to buy the stuff.
Second, so now what? Aside from the issue of how to reform the CIA, do we let Saddam walk?
Third, I would think those who were hoping to use this report as a hatchet against Dubya would be gnashing their teeth, since the news reports make pretty clear that the CIA's problems are systemic. Furthermore, as Michele notes, the Senate Committee found absolutely no evidence that the CIA came up with its assessments due to political pressure from the White House. None. Zip. Nada.
Whiskeypalians
I have to get ready to give a presentation at this Sunday's Adult Forum at church. I also have to fadge up some questions for next Sunday's Summer Bible Study session that I will be leading. I vaguely remember volunteering for the former. I have no recollection whatever of volunteering for the latter.
As I was pondering all these commitments last evening, it suddenly occurred to me that at last I understand why all of our Adult Education Committee meetings begin with a half hour of drinks, with the bottle never really stopping during the course of the agenda.
Cleverrrrrr.....
I have to get ready to give a presentation at this Sunday's Adult Forum at church. I also have to fadge up some questions for next Sunday's Summer Bible Study session that I will be leading. I vaguely remember volunteering for the former. I have no recollection whatever of volunteering for the latter.
As I was pondering all these commitments last evening, it suddenly occurred to me that at last I understand why all of our Adult Education Committee meetings begin with a half hour of drinks, with the bottle never really stopping during the course of the agenda.
Cleverrrrrr.....
Another Plum
I see that a new biography of P.G. Wodehouse is coming out this fall.
We wants it! We wants it! We wants the preciouuussssss.......
Yips to Terry Teachout.
I see that a new biography of P.G. Wodehouse is coming out this fall.
We wants it! We wants it! We wants the preciouuussssss.......
Yips to Terry Teachout.
The Idiotocracy
Victor David Hanson once again spells out the stakes of our venture in the Middle East to those of the Left who continue to trivialize or demonize our involvement there.
Personally, I think VDH is digging a hole in the ocean here. The NY Times, George Soros, Billy Chrystal, Michael Moore - they don't really give a single, solitary damn one way or the other about the fate of Iraq. What they are interested in is the destruction of George Dubya, no matter what the consequences. That's the real triviality Hanson is talking about - putting petty domestic political squabbling ahead of critical global issues. And no amount of explanation - even in words of one syllable - is going to change that.
Meanwhile, Krauth takes on the International Branch of the Idiotocracy in the form of Hans Blix. Here, I think the motivation is a bit different. The European Left are more aware of and concerned with the geopolitical ramifications of our actions than the Hollywood crowd. Their motivation is to fundamentally check U.S. power. (I used to say this a lot, but it bears repeating: FRANCE IS NOT OUR ALLY.)
I think the difference between the two factions is that if by some fluke John Kerry were to be elected and genuinely sobered up to the reality of what needed to be done, a good bit of the domestic opposition would vanish. But the Euro-Left will continue to obstruct as best it can no matter what.
UPDATE: Meanwhile, Hugh thinks the Idiotocracy is driving the entire Democratic Party straight over a cliff. As VDH notes in his piece, John Kerry might be beginning to understand this. The question is whether he will be able to disengage himself from Michael Moore's fat-armed Lover's Headlock. Well, not at this rate he won't.
I would pay real money to be able to hear Michael Moore on November 3rd say, "I don't understand it. Everyone I know voted for Kerry...." (For those of you too young to get the reference, go here.)
Victor David Hanson once again spells out the stakes of our venture in the Middle East to those of the Left who continue to trivialize or demonize our involvement there.
Personally, I think VDH is digging a hole in the ocean here. The NY Times, George Soros, Billy Chrystal, Michael Moore - they don't really give a single, solitary damn one way or the other about the fate of Iraq. What they are interested in is the destruction of George Dubya, no matter what the consequences. That's the real triviality Hanson is talking about - putting petty domestic political squabbling ahead of critical global issues. And no amount of explanation - even in words of one syllable - is going to change that.
Meanwhile, Krauth takes on the International Branch of the Idiotocracy in the form of Hans Blix. Here, I think the motivation is a bit different. The European Left are more aware of and concerned with the geopolitical ramifications of our actions than the Hollywood crowd. Their motivation is to fundamentally check U.S. power. (I used to say this a lot, but it bears repeating: FRANCE IS NOT OUR ALLY.)
I think the difference between the two factions is that if by some fluke John Kerry were to be elected and genuinely sobered up to the reality of what needed to be done, a good bit of the domestic opposition would vanish. But the Euro-Left will continue to obstruct as best it can no matter what.
UPDATE: Meanwhile, Hugh thinks the Idiotocracy is driving the entire Democratic Party straight over a cliff. As VDH notes in his piece, John Kerry might be beginning to understand this. The question is whether he will be able to disengage himself from Michael Moore's fat-armed Lover's Headlock. Well, not at this rate he won't.
I would pay real money to be able to hear Michael Moore on November 3rd say, "I don't understand it. Everyone I know voted for Kerry...." (For those of you too young to get the reference, go here.)
Random Commuter Yada Yada
Is Charlie really from Aruba?
Is Charlie really from Aruba?
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Light Fuse. Step Back.
Sam Gamgee isn't gay, per se. However, he has such intense feelings of love for Frodo, heightened as they are by the horrific circumstances the two must endure together, that these feelings eventually manifest themselves in part in a sexual attraction. Sam seems conscious of this attraction to some extent. Frodo probably is as well, although he never gives any indication, and of course Tolkien never describes any kind of physical consummation beyond hand holding and kissing. The tension between the two hobbits on this point is never really resolved by the end of the novel.
Discuss.
Sam Gamgee isn't gay, per se. However, he has such intense feelings of love for Frodo, heightened as they are by the horrific circumstances the two must endure together, that these feelings eventually manifest themselves in part in a sexual attraction. Sam seems conscious of this attraction to some extent. Frodo probably is as well, although he never gives any indication, and of course Tolkien never describes any kind of physical consummation beyond hand holding and kissing. The tension between the two hobbits on this point is never really resolved by the end of the novel.
Discuss.
Maybe It's All Just Some New "Reality" Show - The Jar-Head Life?
The case of Marine Cpl. Wassef Ali Hassoun is getting more and more bizarre every day. I've simply given up trying to figure out what is going on. Is this guy a hero? A traitor? One lucky sumbitch? An inept conspirator? AWOL-bait? Some combination thereof?
Beats the hell out of me.
We'll just have to wait and see before we decide whether he deserves a hero's welcome, a firing squad or the loony bin.
The case of Marine Cpl. Wassef Ali Hassoun is getting more and more bizarre every day. I've simply given up trying to figure out what is going on. Is this guy a hero? A traitor? One lucky sumbitch? An inept conspirator? AWOL-bait? Some combination thereof?
Beats the hell out of me.
We'll just have to wait and see before we decide whether he deserves a hero's welcome, a firing squad or the loony bin.
Attention Legal Geeks and Ghostbusters Fans!
Josh Chafetz has an interesting post up over at Oxblog concerning a 1944 appeal of the criminal conviction of one Victoria Helen Duncan for conspiring to violate the Witchcraft Act of 1735, 9 Geo. II, c. 5.
What's interesting is that the defendant was convicted for pretending to be a witch, not for actually being a witch. The appeal was based in large part on the question of whether she had been given the proper opportunity to prove her supernatural powers by sliming the jury. On this point, Josh points out a piece of legal trivia that could win you a lot of money in bar bets.
Josh Chafetz has an interesting post up over at Oxblog concerning a 1944 appeal of the criminal conviction of one Victoria Helen Duncan for conspiring to violate the Witchcraft Act of 1735, 9 Geo. II, c. 5.
What's interesting is that the defendant was convicted for pretending to be a witch, not for actually being a witch. The appeal was based in large part on the question of whether she had been given the proper opportunity to prove her supernatural powers by sliming the jury. On this point, Josh points out a piece of legal trivia that could win you a lot of money in bar bets.
Another Thing I Have In Common With Indiana Jones
I hate snakes. All snakes. From time to time, I have a nightmare about being surrounded by rattlers. After reading this, tonight may be the night for another one.
Brrrrrr!!
I hate snakes. All snakes. From time to time, I have a nightmare about being surrounded by rattlers. After reading this, tonight may be the night for another one.
Brrrrrr!!
For The Children
Want to have a peek into the depths of hell? Read this article on Tot Therapy and the combination of blind hysteria and insane competition that passes for child-rearing in the more affluent sections of the NYC Metro area.
You have to go fairly deep into the article to get to what I believe is a fundamental clue about the real problem:
(Emphasis added.)
Yup. It's that "sub-contracting" of parenthood that really sticks in my craw. I'm not talking about putting a kid in daycare because both parents have to hold down jobs in order to make ends meet. That is an unfortunate fact of many lives. What I'm talking about - and what this article is really about - are the sort of people who employ armies of nannies, au pairs and other professional help in order to keep their kids out of the way so they can fulfilll" themselves through keeping up with that $10,000 per month mortgage payment, jet-setting around the world or dominating the local social and/or political scene. The nannies and whatnot are bad enough - at least they get paid to provide the kid some object of affection. But as the article demonstrates, the therapy business is even worse - these are people who have an incentive to find something, anything wrong with the kid and (shall I say it?) exploit that finding. (Yes, I think this is a racket.)
Which brings me to the second underlying issue on display in this article. A lot of these parents don't see their kids as kids. Rather, they see the kids only as extensions of and reflections on themselves, additions to their resumes that have to appear perfect in order to compete with the Joneses down the street. Given this, they are perfectly willing to plunge headlong into the psychobabblic trend of the week in order to patch over a perceived flaw, totally oblivious to what they may be doing to the poor kids over the long run.
Chilling. Just chilling.
Yips! to Jen(nifer).
UPDATE: Just to show one example that all is not lost, check out The Mommy Blog. (Oddly, this site turned up in a Google search of "Jane Austen Smackdown".) Mindy, the proprietress, has three small kids much like the Llama-ettes. The following haiku made me lose a good bit of my afternoon tea:
Want to have a peek into the depths of hell? Read this article on Tot Therapy and the combination of blind hysteria and insane competition that passes for child-rearing in the more affluent sections of the NYC Metro area.
You have to go fairly deep into the article to get to what I believe is a fundamental clue about the real problem:
Perhaps more of a problem than under-involved dads are parents, both mothers and fathers, who are so distracted by the Sturm und Drang of their own lives that they subcontract out most child-rearing responsibilities, including those involving therapy. By doing so, they may be abetting the descent of their children into the very developmental peril theyÂre trying to alleviate.
(Emphasis added.)
Yup. It's that "sub-contracting" of parenthood that really sticks in my craw. I'm not talking about putting a kid in daycare because both parents have to hold down jobs in order to make ends meet. That is an unfortunate fact of many lives. What I'm talking about - and what this article is really about - are the sort of people who employ armies of nannies, au pairs and other professional help in order to keep their kids out of the way so they can fulfilll" themselves through keeping up with that $10,000 per month mortgage payment, jet-setting around the world or dominating the local social and/or political scene. The nannies and whatnot are bad enough - at least they get paid to provide the kid some object of affection. But as the article demonstrates, the therapy business is even worse - these are people who have an incentive to find something, anything wrong with the kid and (shall I say it?) exploit that finding. (Yes, I think this is a racket.)
Which brings me to the second underlying issue on display in this article. A lot of these parents don't see their kids as kids. Rather, they see the kids only as extensions of and reflections on themselves, additions to their resumes that have to appear perfect in order to compete with the Joneses down the street. Given this, they are perfectly willing to plunge headlong into the psychobabblic trend of the week in order to patch over a perceived flaw, totally oblivious to what they may be doing to the poor kids over the long run.
Chilling. Just chilling.
Yips! to Jen(nifer).
UPDATE: Just to show one example that all is not lost, check out The Mommy Blog. (Oddly, this site turned up in a Google search of "Jane Austen Smackdown".) Mindy, the proprietress, has three small kids much like the Llama-ettes. The following haiku made me lose a good bit of my afternoon tea:
I know a smart lady like me
whose fine lovely children count three.
She tries to be fair,
but is pulling her hair,
and can't possibly make every fucking person in her life happy with the choices she makes, so just get off my back already!!!
Hi! My Name is Robert the Llama Butcher!
I find that one of the most pleasant aspects of this whole blogging adventure is turning on the ol' computer in the morning, checking Sitemeter and Google, and discovering a fresh face that has wandered into the Butcher's Shop. And it's even more pleasant when, on tracking back to their own blog, I discover that these folks like to hang around many of the same sites as I do and have some interests in common with me. I think of the blogsphere as a huge and complex series of rings, some intersecting, some overlapping, some parallel, some having absolutely no connection at all. Just because of who we Llamas are and the way this site has developed, we sit at a rather tangled intersection of personal, political and cultural blogs. The discovery of these new folks adds that much more to our knowledge and appreciation of the pattern around us. And gives us someone else to talk to, of course.
I say all this by way of introduction to not one, not two but three new folks that have recently been poking around in the ol' shop. If you don't know them already, allow me to introduce you to:
The Misspent One of A Misspent Life,
LDH of Impenetrable Prose and Poesy,
and
Fugio of the blog of that name.
All three of these guys have blogs not unlike the Llamas - a little culture, a little politics, a little personal life. And if you compare their blogrolls, you see some names consistently turning up.
Go on over and check 'em out.
I find that one of the most pleasant aspects of this whole blogging adventure is turning on the ol' computer in the morning, checking Sitemeter and Google, and discovering a fresh face that has wandered into the Butcher's Shop. And it's even more pleasant when, on tracking back to their own blog, I discover that these folks like to hang around many of the same sites as I do and have some interests in common with me. I think of the blogsphere as a huge and complex series of rings, some intersecting, some overlapping, some parallel, some having absolutely no connection at all. Just because of who we Llamas are and the way this site has developed, we sit at a rather tangled intersection of personal, political and cultural blogs. The discovery of these new folks adds that much more to our knowledge and appreciation of the pattern around us. And gives us someone else to talk to, of course.
I say all this by way of introduction to not one, not two but three new folks that have recently been poking around in the ol' shop. If you don't know them already, allow me to introduce you to:
The Misspent One of A Misspent Life,
LDH of Impenetrable Prose and Poesy,
and
Fugio of the blog of that name.
All three of these guys have blogs not unlike the Llamas - a little culture, a little politics, a little personal life. And if you compare their blogrolls, you see some names consistently turning up.
Go on over and check 'em out.
Yeeeeee-HAAAAAAW - Now That's A List!
Our pal Lynn at Reflections in d minor has been up to her eyeballs in all the either/or lists floating around the past couple days. (Lynn, if it's any consolation, I saw Don's Cultural Eccentricity Inventory too but didn't understand about 50% of it, so didn't even try to answer.)
Well, Lynn has had enough of all this high falutin' stuff and has come up with the Trailor Trash Culture Thingy. We Llamas like the high, but we can go low too, so of course I'm going to do this one.
Ready? Here goes:
1. UPN or Fox? Simpsons. 'Nuff said.
2. roller derby or WWE? More babes.
3. Loretta Lynn or Tammy Wynette? There's an echo of gravel in her voice that I like.
4. Tony Lama or Durango? Even though they can't spell.
5. fried Spam or fried boloney? A staple of Saturday evenings in my early youth when the 'rents were going out.
6. Buck Owens or Porter Wagoner? I confess I watched Hee Haw quite a bit when a kid. (See 5 above.)
7. fiddle or banjo? Close. I'm a sucker for the Cotton-Eye Joe.
8. Texas or Tennessee? Grew up there, after all.
9. Ford or Chevy? (pickup of course)
10. extended cab or long bed? Extended cab smacks of yuppiness. You haven't really ridden in a pickup until you've been squashed on the front bench between a couple of big fat guys, stinking of their greasy Big Jim's breakfast, on the way out to a duckblind somewhere at 5:00 AM.
11. Tabasco or Texas Pete's? Ever tried it on popcorn? Yum!
12. Saints or Cowboys? I'm indifferent to the Saints but I always loathed the Cowboys. (I know, I know. Just being contrarian, I suppose.)
13. baseball cap or cowboy hat? But only if worn by truly qualified people, self not included. I knew a guy in high school that would keep his hat and boots on even in P.E.
14. double wide or single wide? More spectacular damage when the twister flattens 'em.
15. Wal-mart or K-mart? While I was in law school, a K-Mart opened up in Lexington, VA. The mountainy men would come down out of the Blue Ridge on Friday nights with their families to shop. They were the scariest people I've ever seen.
16. "Your Cheatin' Heart" or "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry"?
17. Gunsmoke or Bonanza?
18. Johnny Cash or Merle Haggard? It is tough.
19. catfish or buffalo wings? Deep fried.
20. Charlie Daniels Band or ZZ Top?
21. Velvet painting: Elvis or bullfighter? Only because, living in San Antonio, I went to lots to tex-mex places with these things all over the walls.
22. Plastic sunflowers or plastic flamingos? C'mon - this is a classic!
23. Lawn chairs: molded plastic or aluminum frame? Ditto!
24. John Wayne or Clint Eastwood? Tough, but I'll go with the Duke too.
Add 'em all up and I score 66% on Lynn's scale. How 'bout y'all?
Our pal Lynn at Reflections in d minor has been up to her eyeballs in all the either/or lists floating around the past couple days. (Lynn, if it's any consolation, I saw Don's Cultural Eccentricity Inventory too but didn't understand about 50% of it, so didn't even try to answer.)
Well, Lynn has had enough of all this high falutin' stuff and has come up with the Trailor Trash Culture Thingy. We Llamas like the high, but we can go low too, so of course I'm going to do this one.
Ready? Here goes:
1. UPN or Fox? Simpsons. 'Nuff said.
2. roller derby or WWE? More babes.
3. Loretta Lynn or Tammy Wynette? There's an echo of gravel in her voice that I like.
4. Tony Lama or Durango? Even though they can't spell.
5. fried Spam or fried boloney? A staple of Saturday evenings in my early youth when the 'rents were going out.
6. Buck Owens or Porter Wagoner? I confess I watched Hee Haw quite a bit when a kid. (See 5 above.)
7. fiddle or banjo? Close. I'm a sucker for the Cotton-Eye Joe.
8. Texas or Tennessee? Grew up there, after all.
9. Ford or Chevy? (pickup of course)
10. extended cab or long bed? Extended cab smacks of yuppiness. You haven't really ridden in a pickup until you've been squashed on the front bench between a couple of big fat guys, stinking of their greasy Big Jim's breakfast, on the way out to a duckblind somewhere at 5:00 AM.
11. Tabasco or Texas Pete's? Ever tried it on popcorn? Yum!
12. Saints or Cowboys? I'm indifferent to the Saints but I always loathed the Cowboys. (I know, I know. Just being contrarian, I suppose.)
13. baseball cap or cowboy hat? But only if worn by truly qualified people, self not included. I knew a guy in high school that would keep his hat and boots on even in P.E.
14. double wide or single wide? More spectacular damage when the twister flattens 'em.
15. Wal-mart or K-mart? While I was in law school, a K-Mart opened up in Lexington, VA. The mountainy men would come down out of the Blue Ridge on Friday nights with their families to shop. They were the scariest people I've ever seen.
16. "Your Cheatin' Heart" or "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry"?
17. Gunsmoke or Bonanza?
18. Johnny Cash or Merle Haggard? It is tough.
19. catfish or buffalo wings? Deep fried.
20. Charlie Daniels Band or ZZ Top?
21. Velvet painting: Elvis or bullfighter? Only because, living in San Antonio, I went to lots to tex-mex places with these things all over the walls.
22. Plastic sunflowers or plastic flamingos? C'mon - this is a classic!
23. Lawn chairs: molded plastic or aluminum frame? Ditto!
24. John Wayne or Clint Eastwood? Tough, but I'll go with the Duke too.
Add 'em all up and I score 66% on Lynn's scale. How 'bout y'all?
Gratuitous Llama Daddy Recommendation
For those of our readers with young kids, if you don't have it already may I heartily recommend The Monster At The End Of This Book? It stars "lovable, furry old Grover". Grover spots the title page at the beginning and is so scared of seeing the monster at the end that he begs and pleads with the reader not to turn the pages, also coming up with various methods of preventing such page-turning (rope, wood, bricks, etc.). Of course, the joke is that Grover is the monster, but he only realizes this on the last page. (He then chastises the reader for being such a 'fraidy.)
If you are any good at impersonations, try reading this book aloud to your kids in full, histrionic Grover-voice, incorporating all his hand waiving, head shaking and body language as well. I guarantee you'll be a huge hit. The only problem is that they may, like mine, demand multiple readings in one sitting. It gets kind of hard on the vocal chords after a while.
For those of our readers with young kids, if you don't have it already may I heartily recommend The Monster At The End Of This Book? It stars "lovable, furry old Grover". Grover spots the title page at the beginning and is so scared of seeing the monster at the end that he begs and pleads with the reader not to turn the pages, also coming up with various methods of preventing such page-turning (rope, wood, bricks, etc.). Of course, the joke is that Grover is the monster, but he only realizes this on the last page. (He then chastises the reader for being such a 'fraidy.)
If you are any good at impersonations, try reading this book aloud to your kids in full, histrionic Grover-voice, incorporating all his hand waiving, head shaking and body language as well. I guarantee you'll be a huge hit. The only problem is that they may, like mine, demand multiple readings in one sitting. It gets kind of hard on the vocal chords after a while.
Random Commuter Thoughts, Etc., Etc.
Some good, solid country songs that always make me smile:
Two of a Kind (Working on a Full House) - Garth Brooks
Chattahoochee - Alan Jackson
Pick Up Man - Joe Diffee
I'm Gonna Miss Her - Brad Paisley
Sold (The Grundy County Auction Incident) - John Michael Montgomery
Just thought you'd like to know.
Some good, solid country songs that always make me smile:
Two of a Kind (Working on a Full House) - Garth Brooks
Chattahoochee - Alan Jackson
Pick Up Man - Joe Diffee
I'm Gonna Miss Her - Brad Paisley
Sold (The Grundy County Auction Incident) - John Michael Montgomery
Just thought you'd like to know.
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
A Dictator? Moi?
According to the latest personality test floating about the 'sphere, here's how yours truly stacks up:
Wackiness: 30/100
Rationality: 50/100
Constructiveness: 26/100
Leadership: 72/100
This means I am SEDL--Sober Emotional Destructive Leader, aka a Dictator. Here's the breakdown:
There you have it. Yips! to Jen(nifer).
According to the latest personality test floating about the 'sphere, here's how yours truly stacks up:
Wackiness: 30/100
Rationality: 50/100
Constructiveness: 26/100
Leadership: 72/100
This means I am SEDL--Sober Emotional Destructive Leader, aka a Dictator. Here's the breakdown:
You prefer to control situations, and lack of control makes you physically sick. You feel have responsibility for everyone's welfare, and that you will be blamed when things go wrong. Things do go wrong, and you take it harder than you should.
You rely on the validation and support of others, but you have a secret distrust for people and distaste for their habits and weaknesses that make you keep your distance from them. This makes you very difficult to be with romantically. Still, a level-headed peacemaker can keep you balanced.
Despite your fierce temper and general hot-bloodedness, you have a soft spot for animals and a surprising passion for the arts. Sometimes you would almost rather live by your wits in the wilderness somewhere, if you could bring your books and your sketchbook.
You also have a strange, undeniable sexiness to you. You may go insane.
There you have it. Yips! to Jen(nifer).
Gratuitous Llama Music Posting
I wanted to introduce you to a nifty blog that's new to me courtesy of our friend Lynn, namely Jessica Duchen's Classical Music Blog. I've already plugged her into the blogroll to help "tone" up this place a bit. Har, har. Get it?
Seriously, though, Jessica currently has up a thoughtful piece on elitism and marketing in classical music today. She makes some excellent points about the perceived need to "dumb down" such music to make it more accessible, the awfulness of current academic music (damn the 12-tone scale forever, says I) and the importance of exposing kids to good music at a young age.
Apart from that, Jessica has lots of good posts about life in the world of professional music from the point of view of a performer, student and critic. She's considerably more of a Romanticist than I am - if you like mid- to late 19th and early 20th Century music, I think she'd be right up your alley. I find her discussions quite interesting nonetheless.
Take a minute to go on over and have a look around.
I wanted to introduce you to a nifty blog that's new to me courtesy of our friend Lynn, namely Jessica Duchen's Classical Music Blog. I've already plugged her into the blogroll to help "tone" up this place a bit. Har, har. Get it?
Seriously, though, Jessica currently has up a thoughtful piece on elitism and marketing in classical music today. She makes some excellent points about the perceived need to "dumb down" such music to make it more accessible, the awfulness of current academic music (damn the 12-tone scale forever, says I) and the importance of exposing kids to good music at a young age.
Apart from that, Jessica has lots of good posts about life in the world of professional music from the point of view of a performer, student and critic. She's considerably more of a Romanticist than I am - if you like mid- to late 19th and early 20th Century music, I think she'd be right up your alley. I find her discussions quite interesting nonetheless.
Take a minute to go on over and have a look around.
That's Gonna Leave A Mark
Dubya bitch-slaps Edwards:
Yips! to Will Collier.
Dubya bitch-slaps Edwards:
When a reporter noted that Edwards was being described as "charming, engaging, a nimble campaigner, a populist and even sexy" and then asked "How does he stack up against Dick Cheney?" the president immediately responded, "Dick Cheney (search) can be president. Next?"
Yips! to Will Collier.
Mr. Rogers' DMZ
The Secretary of South Korea's National Security Council tells his officers to make nice with the enemy.
(Singing)
It's a beautiful day in the DMZ,
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?...
It's a neighborly day in this barb-wire 'hood,
A neighborly day for a beauty.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?...
I've always wanted to have a neighbor armed like you.
I've always wanted to run from a tank dri-VEN by you.
So, let's make the most of this beautiful day.
'Spite of the landmines we might as well say:
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?
Won't you please,
Won't you please?
Please won't you be my neighbor?
The Secretary of South Korea's National Security Council tells his officers to make nice with the enemy.
(Singing)
It's a beautiful day in the DMZ,
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?...
It's a neighborly day in this barb-wire 'hood,
A neighborly day for a beauty.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?...
I've always wanted to have a neighbor armed like you.
I've always wanted to run from a tank dri-VEN by you.
So, let's make the most of this beautiful day.
'Spite of the landmines we might as well say:
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?
Won't you please,
Won't you please?
Please won't you be my neighbor?
I have to finish this post before my wife wakes up, or I'm a goner!
You know you've a serious blogging problem when you find yourself in your room at Kitty Hawk on a beautiful July day, um, blogging. Well, this isn't really blogg ing as this is only one post---and I can stop at one, I can!
Anyhoo, I fired up because my wife checked the messages at home and there was some stupid work stuff that I knew that I would have to respond to, and when I cleaned up that mess, I just checked in with no intention of posting! Honestly!
Anyhoo, Sheila took me to this site with the now famous "Kerry helps Sox win Game 7 of the Series channeling ghost of Tom Dewey" headline.
So, my suntan lotion-addled brain fired this image into my mind:
Let the general election begin!
I've got a slogan for the dems: Kerry/Edwards: All the charisma of Bob Dole, all the experience of Dan Quayle!
See y'all Sunday!
You know you've a serious blogging problem when you find yourself in your room at Kitty Hawk on a beautiful July day, um, blogging. Well, this isn't really blogg ing as this is only one post---and I can stop at one, I can!
Anyhoo, I fired up because my wife checked the messages at home and there was some stupid work stuff that I knew that I would have to respond to, and when I cleaned up that mess, I just checked in with no intention of posting! Honestly!
Anyhoo, Sheila took me to this site with the now famous "Kerry helps Sox win Game 7 of the Series channeling ghost of Tom Dewey" headline.
So, my suntan lotion-addled brain fired this image into my mind:
Let the general election begin!
I've got a slogan for the dems: Kerry/Edwards: All the charisma of Bob Dole, all the experience of Dan Quayle!
See y'all Sunday!
Llama Yips!
Someone out there seems to have nominated your humble llamas for inclusion in The Living Room's Celebrating the Underblogger 2004 project.
Thanks very much, whoever did so. We really appreciate it.
Yip! Yip! Yip!
UPDATE: Scrolling through the comments, I see that we were actually nominated twice. Thanks to The Emperor and Kathy - that's very thoughtful of you!
Someone out there seems to have nominated your humble llamas for inclusion in The Living Room's Celebrating the Underblogger 2004 project.
Thanks very much, whoever did so. We really appreciate it.
Yip! Yip! Yip!
UPDATE: Scrolling through the comments, I see that we were actually nominated twice. Thanks to The Emperor and Kathy - that's very thoughtful of you!
KHAAAAAAAN!!!
No, not that one. Instead, CNN reports that a London restruant is offering a free meal to anyone who can demonstrate descent from the mighty Ghengis.
It seems to me that someone should alert Mr. L. Prosser that, should he be able to tear himself away from arguing with men lying in the mud over the Council's proposed by-pass, there's a nice dinner waiting for him up in the metrop.
Speaking of which, have you seen this?
UPDATE: Shifting back to the title of this post, Ghost of a Flea has some interesting tidbits regarding footage cut from the only Star Trek movie really worth seeing, including a story line about Saavik being half-Romulan. Fascinating. But I know this movie so well and have such a feel of its timing and rhythms that adding any more bits now would only throw things off for me.
No, not that one. Instead, CNN reports that a London restruant is offering a free meal to anyone who can demonstrate descent from the mighty Ghengis.
It seems to me that someone should alert Mr. L. Prosser that, should he be able to tear himself away from arguing with men lying in the mud over the Council's proposed by-pass, there's a nice dinner waiting for him up in the metrop.
Speaking of which, have you seen this?
UPDATE: Shifting back to the title of this post, Ghost of a Flea has some interesting tidbits regarding footage cut from the only Star Trek movie really worth seeing, including a story line about Saavik being half-Romulan. Fascinating. But I know this movie so well and have such a feel of its timing and rhythms that adding any more bits now would only throw things off for me.
Gratuitous Gardening Post
As I noted yesterday, our terrific friend the Bookish Gardener, in addition to running herself through the Terry Teachout Cultural Index, has come up with her own (shorter) study, which I will now christen the Chan S. Gardener's Index, or CSGI. As did Terry, Chan lists a selection of either/or options, placing her choice first. I'll borrow from her technique and bold my preferences, adding a few comments as seem appropriate.
Are you ready? Here we go:
1. Lilies: oriental or asiatic? I had a long bed of orientals at my old house, mostly stargazers, casa blancas and a yellow, the name of which has escaped me. I may try some again next year.
2. No-till or till? As much as I hate it, you have to around here, given all the clay.
3. Bare hands or garden gloves? Gardening in gloves is like trying to play the piano in mittens.
4. Garden tchotchkes, no or yes? I don't count my owl decoy, who usually resides somewhere on the back fence. But gnomes, cement frogs and glass balls? No thanks.
5. Clay or sand? The lesser of two evils and only because a little clay helps hold water in better.
6. Shrub roses or hybrid teas? Actually, the only roses I have at the moment are a pair of Improved Blaze climbers that I am getting pretty fed up with.
7. Hollyhocks: single or double? Although I have to confess that I have a double called "Peaches & Dreams" that has done magnificently this year and that I hope will self-seed.
8. Foliage: gray or glaucous?
9. Hemerocallis: flava or fulva? I have to confess that I don't really like daylillies. I don't quite know why, but I don't. So no opinion here.
10. Impatiens: double or single? 'Round the Butcher's House, all impatiens are known as those-things-you-throw-in-the-whiskey-barrels-on-the-patio-and-don't-think-about-again.
11. Calendula or tagetes? We didn't do any marigolds this year.
12. Arborvitae or juniper? Hmmm...I'm not overly fond of either.
13. Spaded edge or "edging"? I'll go the other way on this one. The beds in my main garden are edged with brick, with a pea-gravel path running all the way around. I like the neat effect.
14. Asters or mums? Although I'm not overly crazy about either.
15. Reflecting pool or coursing waterfall? If I had any kind of water display. The only problem is the mosquitos.
16. Morning glory blue or forget-me-not blue? Just so long as the damn vines stay out of my raspberry canes!
17. Lettuce: leaf or cos? I don't really grow any veggies, so am indifferent.
18. Hyacinth bean or red runner bean? Same deal.
19. Orange or pink?
20. Garden bed shapes: formal or informal? See 13 above. Mine is rectangular in shape with a greensward in the middle.
21. Garden bed planting schemes: informal or formal? There is some sense to the distribution in mine, but it is hardly scientific.
22. Hydrangeas: lace-cap or mophead? Mmmm...I like both, but I go with the mop heads in defense of the hedge of Snow Queen I have coming up behind the garden along the back fence. I chose these for maximum impact when viewed from the house - I think a lace-cap flower would be too delicate to have the same effect at that distance.
23. Spirea japonica: dried flowerheads standing over the winter or in bloom? Either is nice, although I don't have any Spirea.
24. Japanese beetle drowning medium: kerosene or dishsoap solution? Remember - kerosene is flammible!
25. Garden stroll time: dusk or dawn? During the height of summer around here, by the end of the day everything looks tired and beat-up. I think I prefer the freshness of dawn (or would if I could get myself up that early).
Running the figures through the ol' calculator gives me a CSGI measure of 83% I'd say that's pretty close, especially as it was based on only 18 choices. How about all y'all?
As I noted yesterday, our terrific friend the Bookish Gardener, in addition to running herself through the Terry Teachout Cultural Index, has come up with her own (shorter) study, which I will now christen the Chan S. Gardener's Index, or CSGI. As did Terry, Chan lists a selection of either/or options, placing her choice first. I'll borrow from her technique and bold my preferences, adding a few comments as seem appropriate.
Are you ready? Here we go:
1. Lilies: oriental or asiatic? I had a long bed of orientals at my old house, mostly stargazers, casa blancas and a yellow, the name of which has escaped me. I may try some again next year.
2. No-till or till? As much as I hate it, you have to around here, given all the clay.
3. Bare hands or garden gloves? Gardening in gloves is like trying to play the piano in mittens.
4. Garden tchotchkes, no or yes? I don't count my owl decoy, who usually resides somewhere on the back fence. But gnomes, cement frogs and glass balls? No thanks.
5. Clay or sand? The lesser of two evils and only because a little clay helps hold water in better.
6. Shrub roses or hybrid teas? Actually, the only roses I have at the moment are a pair of Improved Blaze climbers that I am getting pretty fed up with.
7. Hollyhocks: single or double? Although I have to confess that I have a double called "Peaches & Dreams" that has done magnificently this year and that I hope will self-seed.
8. Foliage: gray or glaucous?
9. Hemerocallis: flava or fulva? I have to confess that I don't really like daylillies. I don't quite know why, but I don't. So no opinion here.
10. Impatiens: double or single? 'Round the Butcher's House, all impatiens are known as those-things-you-throw-in-the-whiskey-barrels-on-the-patio-and-don't-think-about-again.
11. Calendula or tagetes? We didn't do any marigolds this year.
12. Arborvitae or juniper? Hmmm...I'm not overly fond of either.
13. Spaded edge or "edging"? I'll go the other way on this one. The beds in my main garden are edged with brick, with a pea-gravel path running all the way around. I like the neat effect.
14. Asters or mums? Although I'm not overly crazy about either.
15. Reflecting pool or coursing waterfall? If I had any kind of water display. The only problem is the mosquitos.
16. Morning glory blue or forget-me-not blue? Just so long as the damn vines stay out of my raspberry canes!
17. Lettuce: leaf or cos? I don't really grow any veggies, so am indifferent.
18. Hyacinth bean or red runner bean? Same deal.
19. Orange or pink?
20. Garden bed shapes: formal or informal? See 13 above. Mine is rectangular in shape with a greensward in the middle.
21. Garden bed planting schemes: informal or formal? There is some sense to the distribution in mine, but it is hardly scientific.
22. Hydrangeas: lace-cap or mophead? Mmmm...I like both, but I go with the mop heads in defense of the hedge of Snow Queen I have coming up behind the garden along the back fence. I chose these for maximum impact when viewed from the house - I think a lace-cap flower would be too delicate to have the same effect at that distance.
23. Spirea japonica: dried flowerheads standing over the winter or in bloom? Either is nice, although I don't have any Spirea.
24. Japanese beetle drowning medium: kerosene or dishsoap solution? Remember - kerosene is flammible!
25. Garden stroll time: dusk or dawn? During the height of summer around here, by the end of the day everything looks tired and beat-up. I think I prefer the freshness of dawn (or would if I could get myself up that early).
Running the figures through the ol' calculator gives me a CSGI measure of 83% I'd say that's pretty close, especially as it was based on only 18 choices. How about all y'all?
Whoo-Hooo!
The Llama takes the silver in Kate's latest Caption Contest.
Go on over and, um, have a look......
The Llama takes the silver in Kate's latest Caption Contest.
Go on over and, um, have a look......
Random Commuter Thoughts, Etc., Etc.
Bubba the Wonder President is doing a book signing at the Barnes & Noble up the street from me at four o'clock this afternoon. As I came in this morning, the line was already more than two blocks long.
These folks ought to save their 30 bucks (or whatever it is). The Weekly Standard has produced an abridged user-friendly version of Clinton's magnum opus that contains everything you really need to know.
Bubba the Wonder President is doing a book signing at the Barnes & Noble up the street from me at four o'clock this afternoon. As I came in this morning, the line was already more than two blocks long.
These folks ought to save their 30 bucks (or whatever it is). The Weekly Standard has produced an abridged user-friendly version of Clinton's magnum opus that contains everything you really need to know.
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
ARE YOU REEEEEEADY TO RUUUUUUUMBBBBBLLLLLLEEEE?????
Yes, here it is! The Final Round of the Stone Cold Jane Austen Cage Match, featuring Pride & Prejudice's Elizabeth Bennet, champeened by Kathleen the Cake Eater against my own Emma Woodhouse.
Rounds One and Two of this World-Class Deathmatch can be seen here and here.
Today's round features our 250 word conclusions. Ready? Let's get it on!!!
Here is Kathleen's final shot:
And here is mine:
And there you have it - the Cage Match of the Century. Read the entries. Tell us what you think! We really want to know.
Yes, here it is! The Final Round of the Stone Cold Jane Austen Cage Match, featuring Pride & Prejudice's Elizabeth Bennet, champeened by Kathleen the Cake Eater against my own Emma Woodhouse.
Rounds One and Two of this World-Class Deathmatch can be seen here and here.
Today's round features our 250 word conclusions. Ready? Let's get it on!!!
Here is Kathleen's final shot:
Robert is right when he says Emma is a study in character development. I fail to see, however, where there is much character in Miss Woodhouse to develop. Ultimately, as the audience, we find ourselves rooting for Emma to overcome obstacles which she herself has placed in her way. I find very little satisfaction in stupidity as a plot device.
This, however, is not the case with Pride and Prejudice. While both novels were written by Austen, her divergent approach to her protagonists produced vastly different results. Emma is a passive read. You root for Emma because you have to, not because you want to: her sole purpose is to entertain you, as if she were a street performer. Pride and Prejudice, however, engages you in Lizzie’s struggle. Her conflicts are outside herself, yet they are clear and delineated in such a way that you may imagine about how much is riding on her actions. The novel that sets an imagination to work is also the novel that challenges the reader to become involved. Pride and Prejudice is that novel. It is an active story: it brings you into its folds; it involves you in a way that Emma doesn’t and as a result, is the superior novel.
Stanley Crouch once said that reading is an active engagement; an author must make their reader want to turn the page. Pride and Prejudice encourages you to avidly turn the page because it engages your emotions, rather than just your sense of fine comedy.
And here is mine:
One of my college English professors had such a deep-seated dislike of the Regency class system in general and Emma Woodhouse in particular that she felt the only characters worthy of any sympathy in Emma were the gypsies who attacked Harriet. While I do not suspect Kathleen of such Jacobin leanings, my answer to her lingering resentment towards Emma the rich girl is the same as I gave the prof: Had Austen meant the book to be a morality tale about the evils of excessive, unearned wealth, she would have written it from a different perspective with a different ending and made Emma far less sympathetic – indeed, she’d be just another Catherine De Bourgh.
As for Kathy’s doubts about Emma’s maturation, on what are they based? Surely Emma’s changing attitudes towards Martin, which bookend the story, symbolize her growth. What of Emma’s apology to Miss Bates after Box Hill? Her meeting of minds with Jane Fairfax? Her refusal to abandon her father upon marriage? As for Harriet’s engagement, Emma’s relief comes not from being “let off the hook” about encouraging Harriet to go for Knightly. (In fact, Emma had mistakenly thought her interested in Frank Churchill.) Instead, it is based on Emma’s awakening to her own love for Knightly whom, by the way, it is very unlikely Austen meant to doom to life with an unrepentant flake.
No, in the end Emma grows up. The lessons are finally taken to heart. Our delight and satisfaction is in watching this happen.
And there you have it - the Cage Match of the Century. Read the entries. Tell us what you think! We really want to know.
By The Time You Read This, I May Be Dead
No, no - just kidding! But Blogger is down this afternoon and it could be a very, very long time before it's back up and running. Which is a realy shame because Kathleen and I are supposed to be in the midst of the Final Round of our Stone Cold Jane Austen Smack Down. I sent Kathy my contribution almost 5 hours ago. I hope she isn't reading it and modifying her own paper accordingly. I mean, I understand that she has the weaker position defending Elizabeth Bennet against Emma Woodhouse, but sometimes you just have to face facts and die like a man.
Feeling our pain, Dean Esmay once again pleads with us Blogspot denizens to bail out. Well, we Llamas are of course in the midst of doing so. But here's something else to cause me to connect forehead with desktop: for whatever reason, my firm's Internet blocking software is now banning all mu.nu. sites - so I can't even get into the new digs.
Some days it just don't pay to get out of bed.
UPDATE: Of course, just out of spite, this post and the other two that have been hanging fire all afternoon popped up as soon as I hit the publish button.
No, no - just kidding! But Blogger is down this afternoon and it could be a very, very long time before it's back up and running. Which is a realy shame because Kathleen and I are supposed to be in the midst of the Final Round of our Stone Cold Jane Austen Smack Down. I sent Kathy my contribution almost 5 hours ago. I hope she isn't reading it and modifying her own paper accordingly. I mean, I understand that she has the weaker position defending Elizabeth Bennet against Emma Woodhouse, but sometimes you just have to face facts and die like a man.
Feeling our pain, Dean Esmay once again pleads with us Blogspot denizens to bail out. Well, we Llamas are of course in the midst of doing so. But here's something else to cause me to connect forehead with desktop: for whatever reason, my firm's Internet blocking software is now banning all mu.nu. sites - so I can't even get into the new digs.
Some days it just don't pay to get out of bed.
UPDATE: Of course, just out of spite, this post and the other two that have been hanging fire all afternoon popped up as soon as I hit the publish button.
Culture-Shmulture!
UPDATE: Welcome Sheila Fans! As long as you're here, make sure and scroll up to read and vote on the Stone-Cold Jane Austen Smackdown we're having with Kathleen of the Cake Eater Chronicles. You'll be glad you did! And now - on with the post:
Terry Teachout is posting his Teachout Cultural Concurrence Index. Basically, it's a set of 100 either/or questions. Terry claims that he'd take "A" in each case, although some would be very close.
Well, what good is having a blog if you can't comment on other folks' opinions? Here's my take on Terry's choices:
1. Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly? - Oh Fred, definitely.
2. The Great Gatsby or The Sun Also Rises? Gatsby. Hemingway was vastly overrated by everyone, including himself.
3. Count Basie or Duke Ellington? Tough call.
4. Cats or dogs? Dogs for me, please. Cats are eviiiil.
5. Matisse or Picasso? Picasso was a fraud.
6. Yeats or Eliot? Mmmmmmmm, haven't read enough of either to really have a preference.
7. Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin? Oh, I'd go with Keaton.
8. Flannery O’Connor or John Updike? I've only read O'Connor.
9. To Have and Have Not or Casablanca? Only seen the latter.
10. Jackson Pollock or Willem de Kooning? Is there a "neither" category?
11. The Who or the Stones? Eh.
12. Philip Larkin or Sylvia Plath? See 10 above.
13. Trollope or Dickens? A toughie.
14. Billie Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald? Another toughie, but I think I lean towards Ella.
15. Dostoyevsky or Tolstoy? I've honestly never read any Tolstoy. Shame! Shame!
16. The Moviegoer or The End of the Affair? Don't know.
17. George Balanchine or Martha Graham? I've never had any interest in dance.
18. Hot dogs or hamburgers? Burgers, of course.
19. Letterman or Leno? I'm a Dave man.
20. Wilco or Cat Power? I don't even know what this means.
21. Verdi or Wagner? Yeah, I'd go with Verdi. At least it's in Italian.
22. Grace Kelly or Marilyn Monroe? Could there ever be any serious comparison?
23. Bill Monroe or Johnny Cash? Don't know Monroe.
24. Kingsley or Martin Amis? I like Kinsley but haven't read enough Martin to compare.
25. Robert Mitchum or Marlon Brando? I'll take Mitchum too.
26. Mark Morris or Twyla Tharp? See 17 above.
27. Vermeer or Rembrandt? I'm glad I don't actually have to choose.
28. Tchaikovsky or Chopin? I think I prefer Chopin, although I'm not much of a Romanticist to begin with.
29. Red wine or white? Red. Yes, indeed. All Whites could evaporate tomorrow and I wouldn't care.
30. Noël Coward or Oscar Wilde? Oh, Noel for sure. Oscar had one play and one play only in him.
31. Grosse Pointe Blank or High Fidelity? Loved GPB. Haven't seen HF.
32. Shostakovich or Prokofiev? Based just on what I know, which isn't much, I think I'd favor Prokofiev.
33. Mikhail Baryshnikov or Rudolf Nureyev? See 17 above.
34. Constable or Turner? Yes, I love Constable.
35. The Searchers or Rio Bravo? Tough. But with the Duke, you can't lose either way.
36. Comedy or tragedy? Comedy. More in line with my personality.
37. Fall or spring? Yeah, I love fall.
38. Manet or Monet? I'd go with Monet. There's something about Manet's brushwork that just doesn't quite click with me.
39. The Sopranos or The Simpsons? Nope. Do the Bart-Man!
40. Rodgers and Hart or Gershwin and Gershwin? I'm not overly fond of musicals. I'll pass.
41. Joseph Conrad or Henry James? I've only read a little James and much more Conrad.
42. Sunset or sunrise? I think there's a connection between my preference for sunset and my preference for fall.
43. Johnny Mercer or Cole Porter? I'll go with Cole on this one.
44. Mac or PC? PC. But I don't understand why people get so worked up over this.
45. New York or Los Angeles? I don't think much of either, but will go with NY.
46. Partisan Review or Horizon? Don't know.
47. Stax or Motown? I've never heard of Stax.
48. Van Gogh or Gauguin? I've come to like ol' Vince more and more. Never much cared for Gauguin.
49. Steely Dan or Elvis Costello? Don't know enough to say.
50. Reading a blog or reading a magazine? It depends on what I'm reading for - conversation or in-depth analysis.
51. John Gielgud or Laurence Olivier? Another very tough call, but I think I'd actually go with Sir John. Drier.
52. Only the Lonely or Songs for Swingin’ Lovers? Eh?
53. Chinatown or Bonnie and Clyde? Haven't seen either.
54. Ghost World or Election? I thought Election pretty good. Haven't seen GW.
55. Minimalism or conceptual art? I don't much like either.
56. Daffy Duck or Bugs Bunny? It's duck season! Rabbit season! Duck season!
57. Modernism or postmodernism? Feh. Damn them all.
58. Batman or Spider-Man? I'd go with the Bat.
59. Emmylou Harris or Lucinda Williams? No opinion.
60. Johnson or Boswell? Don't really have a decided opinion here.
61. Jane Austen or Virginia Woolf? Funny he should mention Jane!
62. The Honeymooners or The Dick Van Dyke Show? I have never liked Jackie Gleason's brand of sledge-hammer humor.
63. An Eames chair or a Noguchi table? Huh?
64. Out of the Past or Double Indemnity? I've seen D.I., but not OOTP.
65. The Marriage of Figaro or Don Giovanni? I love both. Impossible to choose.
66. Blue or green? Blue for me, thanks.
67. A Midsummer Night’s Dream or As You Like It? Agreed.
68. Ballet or opera? No, I'd go with opera.
69. Film or live theater? Depends on what you want. You try blowing up the Death Star on stage and see what happens.
70. Acoustic or electric? I don't care for electric instruments.
71. North by Northwest or Vertigo? N by NW is probably my favorite Hitchcock of all time.
72. Sargent or Whistler? Another close one, but I'd go with Sargent too.
73. V.S. Naipaul or Milan Kundera? Haven't read either.
74. The Music Man or Oklahoma? TMM is the slightly less sick-making of the two.
75. Sushi, yes or no? Bleh.
76. The New Yorker under Ross or Shawn? Just so long as Tina Brown isn't there, I don't care.
77. Tennessee Williams or Edward Albee? Don't know any Albee.
78. The Portrait of a Lady or The Wings of the Dove? Haven't read either.
79. Paul Taylor or Merce Cunningham? See 17 above.
80. Frank Lloyd Wright or Mies van der Rohe? No thanks. Is Christopher Wren in the running?
81. Diana Krall or Norah Jones? I've only heard that one Norah Jones song, and no Krall, so can't really say.
82. Watercolor or pastel? Yes. Never much liked pastels.
83. Bus or subway? Depends on where you are. London, I'd agree. D.C., I would not.
84. Stravinsky or Schoenberg? Anybody by Schoenberg!
85. Crunchy or smooth peanut butter? Depends on what's making it crunch, I suppose. Actually, I rather prefer smooth.
86. Willa Cather or Theodore Dreiser? No opinion.
87. Schubert or Mozart? Terry, you've got to be kidding me! Schubert was a powderpuff flyweight compared to Gangrl.
88. The Fifties or the Twenties? I think this has more to do with perceptions of those eras than their realities.
89. Huckleberry Finn or Moby-Dick? Absolutely. Twain over Melville. No contest.
90. Thomas Mann or James Joyce? No opinion.
91. Lester Young or Coleman Hawkins? I'm too ignorant of jazz to comment.
92. Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman? It's not a period of which I'm very fond, but I think I'd take Emily too.
93. Abraham Lincoln or Winston Churchill? In what sense? In every way I can think of, I'd go with Winnie.
94. Liz Phair or Aimee Mann? Uhhhh, I dunno, Beavis.
95. Italian or French cooking? Yes, please. With lots of extra garlic and olive oil.
96. Bach on piano or harpsichord? Teachout is an infidel and will go to perdition over this one. How could you, Terry?
97. Anchovies, yes or no? Bleh.
98. Short novels or long ones? If they're good, I like them long. If bad, I'd just as soon get it over with.
99. Swing or bebop? Swing for me, please.
100. "The Last Judgment" or "The Last Supper"? TLJ is so busy. But I'd hate to have to make that call.
Working out the percentage of questions for which I have a competent response and the number of times I agree with Teachout, I find I have a TTCI score of 66.
UPDATE: Our friend Chan gets into the spirit of things by answering Terry and then posting her own 25 Question Gardener's Index. I'll have to get at that one when I have a bit more time.
UPDATE: Welcome Sheila Fans! As long as you're here, make sure and scroll up to read and vote on the Stone-Cold Jane Austen Smackdown we're having with Kathleen of the Cake Eater Chronicles. You'll be glad you did! And now - on with the post:
Terry Teachout is posting his Teachout Cultural Concurrence Index. Basically, it's a set of 100 either/or questions. Terry claims that he'd take "A" in each case, although some would be very close.
Well, what good is having a blog if you can't comment on other folks' opinions? Here's my take on Terry's choices:
1. Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly? - Oh Fred, definitely.
2. The Great Gatsby or The Sun Also Rises? Gatsby. Hemingway was vastly overrated by everyone, including himself.
3. Count Basie or Duke Ellington? Tough call.
4. Cats or dogs? Dogs for me, please. Cats are eviiiil.
5. Matisse or Picasso? Picasso was a fraud.
6. Yeats or Eliot? Mmmmmmmm, haven't read enough of either to really have a preference.
7. Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin? Oh, I'd go with Keaton.
8. Flannery O’Connor or John Updike? I've only read O'Connor.
9. To Have and Have Not or Casablanca? Only seen the latter.
10. Jackson Pollock or Willem de Kooning? Is there a "neither" category?
11. The Who or the Stones? Eh.
12. Philip Larkin or Sylvia Plath? See 10 above.
13. Trollope or Dickens? A toughie.
14. Billie Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald? Another toughie, but I think I lean towards Ella.
15. Dostoyevsky or Tolstoy? I've honestly never read any Tolstoy. Shame! Shame!
16. The Moviegoer or The End of the Affair? Don't know.
17. George Balanchine or Martha Graham? I've never had any interest in dance.
18. Hot dogs or hamburgers? Burgers, of course.
19. Letterman or Leno? I'm a Dave man.
20. Wilco or Cat Power? I don't even know what this means.
21. Verdi or Wagner? Yeah, I'd go with Verdi. At least it's in Italian.
22. Grace Kelly or Marilyn Monroe? Could there ever be any serious comparison?
23. Bill Monroe or Johnny Cash? Don't know Monroe.
24. Kingsley or Martin Amis? I like Kinsley but haven't read enough Martin to compare.
25. Robert Mitchum or Marlon Brando? I'll take Mitchum too.
26. Mark Morris or Twyla Tharp? See 17 above.
27. Vermeer or Rembrandt? I'm glad I don't actually have to choose.
28. Tchaikovsky or Chopin? I think I prefer Chopin, although I'm not much of a Romanticist to begin with.
29. Red wine or white? Red. Yes, indeed. All Whites could evaporate tomorrow and I wouldn't care.
30. Noël Coward or Oscar Wilde? Oh, Noel for sure. Oscar had one play and one play only in him.
31. Grosse Pointe Blank or High Fidelity? Loved GPB. Haven't seen HF.
32. Shostakovich or Prokofiev? Based just on what I know, which isn't much, I think I'd favor Prokofiev.
33. Mikhail Baryshnikov or Rudolf Nureyev? See 17 above.
34. Constable or Turner? Yes, I love Constable.
35. The Searchers or Rio Bravo? Tough. But with the Duke, you can't lose either way.
36. Comedy or tragedy? Comedy. More in line with my personality.
37. Fall or spring? Yeah, I love fall.
38. Manet or Monet? I'd go with Monet. There's something about Manet's brushwork that just doesn't quite click with me.
39. The Sopranos or The Simpsons? Nope. Do the Bart-Man!
40. Rodgers and Hart or Gershwin and Gershwin? I'm not overly fond of musicals. I'll pass.
41. Joseph Conrad or Henry James? I've only read a little James and much more Conrad.
42. Sunset or sunrise? I think there's a connection between my preference for sunset and my preference for fall.
43. Johnny Mercer or Cole Porter? I'll go with Cole on this one.
44. Mac or PC? PC. But I don't understand why people get so worked up over this.
45. New York or Los Angeles? I don't think much of either, but will go with NY.
46. Partisan Review or Horizon? Don't know.
47. Stax or Motown? I've never heard of Stax.
48. Van Gogh or Gauguin? I've come to like ol' Vince more and more. Never much cared for Gauguin.
49. Steely Dan or Elvis Costello? Don't know enough to say.
50. Reading a blog or reading a magazine? It depends on what I'm reading for - conversation or in-depth analysis.
51. John Gielgud or Laurence Olivier? Another very tough call, but I think I'd actually go with Sir John. Drier.
52. Only the Lonely or Songs for Swingin’ Lovers? Eh?
53. Chinatown or Bonnie and Clyde? Haven't seen either.
54. Ghost World or Election? I thought Election pretty good. Haven't seen GW.
55. Minimalism or conceptual art? I don't much like either.
56. Daffy Duck or Bugs Bunny? It's duck season! Rabbit season! Duck season!
57. Modernism or postmodernism? Feh. Damn them all.
58. Batman or Spider-Man? I'd go with the Bat.
59. Emmylou Harris or Lucinda Williams? No opinion.
60. Johnson or Boswell? Don't really have a decided opinion here.
61. Jane Austen or Virginia Woolf? Funny he should mention Jane!
62. The Honeymooners or The Dick Van Dyke Show? I have never liked Jackie Gleason's brand of sledge-hammer humor.
63. An Eames chair or a Noguchi table? Huh?
64. Out of the Past or Double Indemnity? I've seen D.I., but not OOTP.
65. The Marriage of Figaro or Don Giovanni? I love both. Impossible to choose.
66. Blue or green? Blue for me, thanks.
67. A Midsummer Night’s Dream or As You Like It? Agreed.
68. Ballet or opera? No, I'd go with opera.
69. Film or live theater? Depends on what you want. You try blowing up the Death Star on stage and see what happens.
70. Acoustic or electric? I don't care for electric instruments.
71. North by Northwest or Vertigo? N by NW is probably my favorite Hitchcock of all time.
72. Sargent or Whistler? Another close one, but I'd go with Sargent too.
73. V.S. Naipaul or Milan Kundera? Haven't read either.
74. The Music Man or Oklahoma? TMM is the slightly less sick-making of the two.
75. Sushi, yes or no? Bleh.
76. The New Yorker under Ross or Shawn? Just so long as Tina Brown isn't there, I don't care.
77. Tennessee Williams or Edward Albee? Don't know any Albee.
78. The Portrait of a Lady or The Wings of the Dove? Haven't read either.
79. Paul Taylor or Merce Cunningham? See 17 above.
80. Frank Lloyd Wright or Mies van der Rohe? No thanks. Is Christopher Wren in the running?
81. Diana Krall or Norah Jones? I've only heard that one Norah Jones song, and no Krall, so can't really say.
82. Watercolor or pastel? Yes. Never much liked pastels.
83. Bus or subway? Depends on where you are. London, I'd agree. D.C., I would not.
84. Stravinsky or Schoenberg? Anybody by Schoenberg!
85. Crunchy or smooth peanut butter? Depends on what's making it crunch, I suppose. Actually, I rather prefer smooth.
86. Willa Cather or Theodore Dreiser? No opinion.
87. Schubert or Mozart? Terry, you've got to be kidding me! Schubert was a powderpuff flyweight compared to Gangrl.
88. The Fifties or the Twenties? I think this has more to do with perceptions of those eras than their realities.
89. Huckleberry Finn or Moby-Dick? Absolutely. Twain over Melville. No contest.
90. Thomas Mann or James Joyce? No opinion.
91. Lester Young or Coleman Hawkins? I'm too ignorant of jazz to comment.
92. Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman? It's not a period of which I'm very fond, but I think I'd take Emily too.
93. Abraham Lincoln or Winston Churchill? In what sense? In every way I can think of, I'd go with Winnie.
94. Liz Phair or Aimee Mann? Uhhhh, I dunno, Beavis.
95. Italian or French cooking? Yes, please. With lots of extra garlic and olive oil.
96. Bach on piano or harpsichord? Teachout is an infidel and will go to perdition over this one. How could you, Terry?
97. Anchovies, yes or no? Bleh.
98. Short novels or long ones? If they're good, I like them long. If bad, I'd just as soon get it over with.
99. Swing or bebop? Swing for me, please.
100. "The Last Judgment" or "The Last Supper"? TLJ is so busy. But I'd hate to have to make that call.
Working out the percentage of questions for which I have a competent response and the number of times I agree with Teachout, I find I have a TTCI score of 66.
UPDATE: Our friend Chan gets into the spirit of things by answering Terry and then posting her own 25 Question Gardener's Index. I'll have to get at that one when I have a bit more time.
I'm Having A Bad Blog Day
My computer seems to be having all kinds of post-holiday fits. In particular, it seems to have had some kind of falling out with Blogger, and now the two are barely speaking to each other. This has the effect of making posting an excrutiatingly slow and painful process. I don't really have the time for that kind of dinking around, so don't expect too much more this afternoon unless the systems kiss and makes up.
One thing, though - today is the day for the Final Round of the Stone-Cold Jane Austen Smack Down. As soon as Kathy the Cake-Eater gets her piece over, I'll post it together with mine. Then it will be up to you to decide who leaves the ring standing - Elizabeth Bennet or Emma Woodhouse.
My computer seems to be having all kinds of post-holiday fits. In particular, it seems to have had some kind of falling out with Blogger, and now the two are barely speaking to each other. This has the effect of making posting an excrutiatingly slow and painful process. I don't really have the time for that kind of dinking around, so don't expect too much more this afternoon unless the systems kiss and makes up.
One thing, though - today is the day for the Final Round of the Stone-Cold Jane Austen Smack Down. As soon as Kathy the Cake-Eater gets her piece over, I'll post it together with mine. Then it will be up to you to decide who leaves the ring standing - Elizabeth Bennet or Emma Woodhouse.
Fourth of July Weekend Round-Up
We had a very pleasant holiday weekend at the Butcher's house. I spent a goodish bit of time renewing the resistance against the continued assault of Sauron's Wraith Rabbits on my garden, shoring up the circuit of the Ramas (or the Deeping Wall, depending on which metaphor you prefer). In particular, I was pleased to discover their back door - a little dip under the fence masked by an asparagus bush. As usual, the scrapes and scratches I picked up from dealing with chickenwire make me look like an extremely incompetent junkie today.
We went to a pool party at a friend's house on Sunday. As I was standing around drinking and yapping and idling watching my fish-like brood sport among the waves, I had one of those creepy a la recherche moments where I suddenly remembered what it was like to be one of those kids in the pool, in our own little world of fun and frolic and distanced from all the grown ups standing and sitting around the patio. I could almost see myself as the kid looking at myself as the adult - that kind of thing always makes me feel a little strange, unless in this case it was simply too many margaritas.
Our friends live right behind the local high school, which is where McLean does its municipal firework display, so we got ring-side seats without having to lift a finger. They really went all out this year - we timed the display at 30 minutes or so, which is rather a lot. What was really cool was that the weather was perfect for sound travel - little wind, low cloud and high humidity. We are seven miles upstream from Downtown D.C. and we could plainly hear the rumble of the national display rolling up the Potomac Valley. In addition, we could hear three or four other displays around the compass - Falls Church, Vienna and Great Falls, I expect.
I love fireworks. As I get older, I grow increasingly fond of the purely percussive kind that just flash and bang. When we were kids, we used to call these thunderclaps "Gus-getters" after an extremely gun-shy pointer we owned named Gus (short for Augusta) who was terrified of all such loud noises and, needless to say, was useless for hunting. There were plenty of Gus-getters in the mix. At some points, the air itself seemed to be shaking with the criss-crossing shockwaves rolling over us.
Alas, I'm afraid the llama-ettes aren't quite ready for fireworks yet. The two year old managed to burn her finger slightly on a sparkler before we could stop her. And all of them beat a panicked retreat into the house when the first rocket went off. This fear of fireworks, combined with their dislike of hotdogs burned black on the grill, makes me believe that I have not yet worked hard enough to instill true-blue Conservative American values in my kids.
We had a very pleasant holiday weekend at the Butcher's house. I spent a goodish bit of time renewing the resistance against the continued assault of Sauron's Wraith Rabbits on my garden, shoring up the circuit of the Ramas (or the Deeping Wall, depending on which metaphor you prefer). In particular, I was pleased to discover their back door - a little dip under the fence masked by an asparagus bush. As usual, the scrapes and scratches I picked up from dealing with chickenwire make me look like an extremely incompetent junkie today.
We went to a pool party at a friend's house on Sunday. As I was standing around drinking and yapping and idling watching my fish-like brood sport among the waves, I had one of those creepy a la recherche moments where I suddenly remembered what it was like to be one of those kids in the pool, in our own little world of fun and frolic and distanced from all the grown ups standing and sitting around the patio. I could almost see myself as the kid looking at myself as the adult - that kind of thing always makes me feel a little strange, unless in this case it was simply too many margaritas.
Our friends live right behind the local high school, which is where McLean does its municipal firework display, so we got ring-side seats without having to lift a finger. They really went all out this year - we timed the display at 30 minutes or so, which is rather a lot. What was really cool was that the weather was perfect for sound travel - little wind, low cloud and high humidity. We are seven miles upstream from Downtown D.C. and we could plainly hear the rumble of the national display rolling up the Potomac Valley. In addition, we could hear three or four other displays around the compass - Falls Church, Vienna and Great Falls, I expect.
I love fireworks. As I get older, I grow increasingly fond of the purely percussive kind that just flash and bang. When we were kids, we used to call these thunderclaps "Gus-getters" after an extremely gun-shy pointer we owned named Gus (short for Augusta) who was terrified of all such loud noises and, needless to say, was useless for hunting. There were plenty of Gus-getters in the mix. At some points, the air itself seemed to be shaking with the criss-crossing shockwaves rolling over us.
Alas, I'm afraid the llama-ettes aren't quite ready for fireworks yet. The two year old managed to burn her finger slightly on a sparkler before we could stop her. And all of them beat a panicked retreat into the house when the first rocket went off. This fear of fireworks, combined with their dislike of hotdogs burned black on the grill, makes me believe that I have not yet worked hard enough to instill true-blue Conservative American values in my kids.
The Veepstakes
Well. I've got just two words to pass along to all those who are fired up by the idea that John Edwards is going to give sufficient charisma and energy to the ticket to put Kerry over the finish line and into the White House:
Jack Kemp.
Think about it.
Well. I've got just two words to pass along to all those who are fired up by the idea that John Edwards is going to give sufficient charisma and energy to the ticket to put Kerry over the finish line and into the White House:
Jack Kemp.
Think about it.
Friday, July 02, 2004
Fly The Sadistic Skies
Read this hy-lariously sick-making account of the author's ride aboard a Navy F-14 Tomcat and promise me the following two things:
1.) Be thankful every single day that guys like this pilot are on our side;
2.) Never ever try this at home!
Yips to Jen.
Read this hy-lariously sick-making account of the author's ride aboard a Navy F-14 Tomcat and promise me the following two things:
1.) Be thankful every single day that guys like this pilot are on our side;
2.) Never ever try this at home!
Yips to Jen.
Llama Nappy Time
Cold leftover pizza for lunch.....what the hell was I thinking?
Zzzzzzzzzzzz......
Cold leftover pizza for lunch.....what the hell was I thinking?
Zzzzzzzzzzzz......
Gettysburg
I know Steve-O has been mulling some extensive comments on this, the anniversary of that battle, fought July 1-3, 1863, so I won't say much. But I thought it interesting to provide the following list of Congressional Medal of Honor winners:
July 1, 1863
Jefferson Coats, Sergeant, Co. H, 7th WS Inf.
Richard Enderlin, Musician, Co. B, 73rd Ohio Inf.
Edward L. Gilligan, 1st Sergeant, Co. E, 88th PA Inf.
Henry S. Huidekoper, Lt. Colonel, 150th PA Inf.
Francis Irsch, Captain, Co. D., 45th NY Inf.
J. Monroe Reisinger, Corporal, Co. H, 150th PA Inf.
James M. Rutter, Sergeant, Co. C, 143rd PA Inf.
Alfred J. Sellers, Major, 90th PA Inf.
Francis A. Waller, Corporal, Co. I, 6th WS Inf.
July 2, 1863
Nathaniel M. Allen, Corporal, Co. B, 1st MA Inf.
Hugh Carey, Sergeant, Co. E, 82nd NY Inf.
Casper R. Carlisle, Private, Co. F, Indpt. PA Light Artillery
Joshua L. Chamberlain, Colonel, 20th ME Inf.
Harrison Clark, Corporal, Co. E, 125th NY Inf.
John B. Fassett, Captain, Co. F, 23rd PA Inf.
Chester S. Furman, Corporal, Co. A, 6th PA Reserves
John W. Hart, Sergeant, Co. D, 6th PA Reserves
Thomas Horan, Sergeant, Co. E, 72nd NY Inf.
Wallace W. Johnson, Sergeant, Co. G, 6th PA Reserves
Edward M. Knox, 2nd Lieutenant, 15th NY Battery
John Lonergan, Captain, Co. A, 13th VT Inf.
Georege W. Mears, Sergeant, Co. A, 6th PA Reserves
James Pipes, Captain, Co. A, 140th PA Inf.
James Parke Postles, Captain, Co. A, 1st DE Inf.
James J. Purman, Lieutenant, Co. A, 140th PA Inf.
Charles W. Reed, Bugler, 9th Ind. Battery, MA Light Art.
J. Levi Roush, Corporal, Co. D, 6th PA Reserves
Daniel E. Sickles, Major General, U.S. Volunteers
Thaddeus S. Smith, Corporal, Co. E, 6th PA Reserves
Charles Stacey, Private, Co. D, 55th Ohio Inf.
Andrew J. Tozier, Sergeant, Co. I, 20th ME Inf.
July 3
Elijah W. Bacon, Private, Co. F, 14th CT Inf.
George C. Benedict, 2nd Lieutenant, 12th VT Inf.
Morris Brown Jr., Captain, Co. A, 126th NY Inf.
John E. Clopp, Private, Co. F, 71st PA Inf.
Joseph H. DeCastro, Corporal, Co. I, 19th MA Inf.
George H. Dore, Sergeant, Co. D, 126th NY Inf.
Benjamin F. Falls, Colour Sergeant, Co. A, 19th MA Inf.
Christopher Flynn, Corporal, Co. K, 14th CT Inf.
Frederick Fluger, Sergeant, Battery A, 4th U.S. Artillery
William B. Hinks, Sergeant Major, 14th CT Inf.
Benjamin H. Jellison, Sergeant, Co. C, 19th MA Inf.
John B. Mayberry, Private, Co. F, 1st DE Inf.
Bernard McCarren, Private, Co. C, 1st DE Inf.
John Miller, Corporal, Co. G, 8th Ohio Inf.
William E. Miller, Captain, Co. H, 3rd PA Cavalry
Harvey M. Munsell, Sergeant, Co. A, 99th PA Inf.
Henry D. O'Brien, Corporal, Co. E, 1st MN Inf.
William H. Raymond, Corporal, Co. A, 108th NY Inf.
James Richmond, Private, Co. F, 8th Ohio Inf.
John H. Robinson, Private, Co. I, 19th MA Inf.
Oliver Rood, Private, Co. B, 20th IN Inf.
Marshall Sherman, Private, Co. C, 1st MN Inf.
James B. Thompson, Sergeant, Co. G, 1st PA Rifles
Whealock G. Veasey, Colonel, 16th VT Inf.
Jerry Wall, Private, Co. B, 126th NY Inf.
Alexander Webb, Brigadeer General, U.S. Volunteers
William Wells, Major, 1st VT Cavalry
James Wiley, Sergeant, Co. B, 59th NY Inf.
It's interesting to watch the flow of battle through these citations. Most of the medals awarded on the first and second day are for bravery in aiding wounded comrades and/or holding a position. Most of the third day awards are for the capture of enemy flags and/or destruction of enemy units.
Some individual notes -
The group of six medals handed out to members of the 6th Pennsylvania Reserves were the result of their charge of a log cabin full of rebel sharpshooters near the Devil's Den on the second day.
Sergeant Fluger was awarded his medal for practically single-handedly fighting the remaining gun in his battery during Pickett's Charge after all the officers had been killed or wounded.
Richard Enderlin's citation covers all three days of battle. He volunteered to put down his instrument and pick up the rifle and served the entire time.
The only genuinely questionable name in the group is Dan Sickles. Although undoubtedly brave, the man was a political appointee and a military ass. It was his push forward from the Union lines into the Peach Orchard which damn near snapped the Union forces in half on the second day when Longstreet started his long echelon attack up from the south. I've no doubt that Sickles' citation owes as much to his political connections as anything else.
UPDATE: Fair is fair. Pep has up the Confederate Roll of Honor for the campaign.
I know Steve-O has been mulling some extensive comments on this, the anniversary of that battle, fought July 1-3, 1863, so I won't say much. But I thought it interesting to provide the following list of Congressional Medal of Honor winners:
July 1, 1863
Jefferson Coats, Sergeant, Co. H, 7th WS Inf.
Richard Enderlin, Musician, Co. B, 73rd Ohio Inf.
Edward L. Gilligan, 1st Sergeant, Co. E, 88th PA Inf.
Henry S. Huidekoper, Lt. Colonel, 150th PA Inf.
Francis Irsch, Captain, Co. D., 45th NY Inf.
J. Monroe Reisinger, Corporal, Co. H, 150th PA Inf.
James M. Rutter, Sergeant, Co. C, 143rd PA Inf.
Alfred J. Sellers, Major, 90th PA Inf.
Francis A. Waller, Corporal, Co. I, 6th WS Inf.
July 2, 1863
Nathaniel M. Allen, Corporal, Co. B, 1st MA Inf.
Hugh Carey, Sergeant, Co. E, 82nd NY Inf.
Casper R. Carlisle, Private, Co. F, Indpt. PA Light Artillery
Joshua L. Chamberlain, Colonel, 20th ME Inf.
Harrison Clark, Corporal, Co. E, 125th NY Inf.
John B. Fassett, Captain, Co. F, 23rd PA Inf.
Chester S. Furman, Corporal, Co. A, 6th PA Reserves
John W. Hart, Sergeant, Co. D, 6th PA Reserves
Thomas Horan, Sergeant, Co. E, 72nd NY Inf.
Wallace W. Johnson, Sergeant, Co. G, 6th PA Reserves
Edward M. Knox, 2nd Lieutenant, 15th NY Battery
John Lonergan, Captain, Co. A, 13th VT Inf.
Georege W. Mears, Sergeant, Co. A, 6th PA Reserves
James Pipes, Captain, Co. A, 140th PA Inf.
James Parke Postles, Captain, Co. A, 1st DE Inf.
James J. Purman, Lieutenant, Co. A, 140th PA Inf.
Charles W. Reed, Bugler, 9th Ind. Battery, MA Light Art.
J. Levi Roush, Corporal, Co. D, 6th PA Reserves
Daniel E. Sickles, Major General, U.S. Volunteers
Thaddeus S. Smith, Corporal, Co. E, 6th PA Reserves
Charles Stacey, Private, Co. D, 55th Ohio Inf.
Andrew J. Tozier, Sergeant, Co. I, 20th ME Inf.
July 3
Elijah W. Bacon, Private, Co. F, 14th CT Inf.
George C. Benedict, 2nd Lieutenant, 12th VT Inf.
Morris Brown Jr., Captain, Co. A, 126th NY Inf.
John E. Clopp, Private, Co. F, 71st PA Inf.
Joseph H. DeCastro, Corporal, Co. I, 19th MA Inf.
George H. Dore, Sergeant, Co. D, 126th NY Inf.
Benjamin F. Falls, Colour Sergeant, Co. A, 19th MA Inf.
Christopher Flynn, Corporal, Co. K, 14th CT Inf.
Frederick Fluger, Sergeant, Battery A, 4th U.S. Artillery
William B. Hinks, Sergeant Major, 14th CT Inf.
Benjamin H. Jellison, Sergeant, Co. C, 19th MA Inf.
John B. Mayberry, Private, Co. F, 1st DE Inf.
Bernard McCarren, Private, Co. C, 1st DE Inf.
John Miller, Corporal, Co. G, 8th Ohio Inf.
William E. Miller, Captain, Co. H, 3rd PA Cavalry
Harvey M. Munsell, Sergeant, Co. A, 99th PA Inf.
Henry D. O'Brien, Corporal, Co. E, 1st MN Inf.
William H. Raymond, Corporal, Co. A, 108th NY Inf.
James Richmond, Private, Co. F, 8th Ohio Inf.
John H. Robinson, Private, Co. I, 19th MA Inf.
Oliver Rood, Private, Co. B, 20th IN Inf.
Marshall Sherman, Private, Co. C, 1st MN Inf.
James B. Thompson, Sergeant, Co. G, 1st PA Rifles
Whealock G. Veasey, Colonel, 16th VT Inf.
Jerry Wall, Private, Co. B, 126th NY Inf.
Alexander Webb, Brigadeer General, U.S. Volunteers
William Wells, Major, 1st VT Cavalry
James Wiley, Sergeant, Co. B, 59th NY Inf.
It's interesting to watch the flow of battle through these citations. Most of the medals awarded on the first and second day are for bravery in aiding wounded comrades and/or holding a position. Most of the third day awards are for the capture of enemy flags and/or destruction of enemy units.
Some individual notes -
The group of six medals handed out to members of the 6th Pennsylvania Reserves were the result of their charge of a log cabin full of rebel sharpshooters near the Devil's Den on the second day.
Sergeant Fluger was awarded his medal for practically single-handedly fighting the remaining gun in his battery during Pickett's Charge after all the officers had been killed or wounded.
Richard Enderlin's citation covers all three days of battle. He volunteered to put down his instrument and pick up the rifle and served the entire time.
The only genuinely questionable name in the group is Dan Sickles. Although undoubtedly brave, the man was a political appointee and a military ass. It was his push forward from the Union lines into the Peach Orchard which damn near snapped the Union forces in half on the second day when Longstreet started his long echelon attack up from the south. I've no doubt that Sickles' citation owes as much to his political connections as anything else.
UPDATE: Fair is fair. Pep has up the Confederate Roll of Honor for the campaign.
More Movie List Craziness!
No, no, not this time. Sheila's got a list up of the 100 Greatest Movie Moments. I haven't seen enough of these films to make it worth doing the whole thing, however I did want to comment on one of Sheila's remarks:
Hear! Hear! It's been over 25 years since this movie first came out and huge advances have been made in special effects. Nonetheless, I still get chills from the opening sequence. And even though I was only 12 when I first saw it, I was completely blown away, recognizing even then that this was a hallmark in the development of cinematography.
Destruction of the Death Star? Puh-lease! Not even with Lucas's updated muckings can it rival the chase of the Rebel blockade runner and the Imperial Destroyer. Oh, and while we're on that subject remember - HAN SHOOTS FIRST!
No, no, not this time. Sheila's got a list up of the 100 Greatest Movie Moments. I haven't seen enough of these films to make it worth doing the whole thing, however I did want to comment on one of Sheila's remarks:
45: Star Wars (George Lucas, US, 1977)
Destruction of the Death Star
I think the opening of that film is far more impressive.
Hear! Hear! It's been over 25 years since this movie first came out and huge advances have been made in special effects. Nonetheless, I still get chills from the opening sequence. And even though I was only 12 when I first saw it, I was completely blown away, recognizing even then that this was a hallmark in the development of cinematography.
Destruction of the Death Star? Puh-lease! Not even with Lucas's updated muckings can it rival the chase of the Rebel blockade runner and the Imperial Destroyer. Oh, and while we're on that subject remember - HAN SHOOTS FIRST!
Damn You, Blogger
I still don't know why Blogger occassionally plugs one of my posts below something Steve-O had written earlier, but it does. Go figure.
I still don't know why Blogger occassionally plugs one of my posts below something Steve-O had written earlier, but it does. Go figure.
Why I love Michele even though she's a Yankees-loving evil person
Michele Catalano reviews Fahrenheit 911 and Spider Man 2---the key of course is that she downloaded F911, so as to avoid giving Michael Moore money, thereby enabling his Krispy Kreme, er, problem.
Money quote on F911:
Whip-sharp humor aside, I think this gets to the core of the argument about the election: are we going to go back to the Fantasy-land ignore reality foreign policy of the 1990s, or are we going to face the problems that exist and try to do something about it?
Michele Catalano reviews Fahrenheit 911 and Spider Man 2---the key of course is that she downloaded F911, so as to avoid giving Michael Moore money, thereby enabling his Krispy Kreme, er, problem.
Money quote on F911:
Maybe it was more than ten minutes we watched. I got through the part about Bush being on vacation all the time. That always irked me. Even back in the beginning of his presidency, when I was still considered an anti-Bushite, it bothered me. Do these people think that Crawford, Texas is fenced in an alienated from the rest of the world, cut off from all communication? That ranch is like White House South. Yea, the man golfs and cuts down brush. Personally, I'd rather have a president who cleans up his yard in his spare time than one who has his dick cleaned by his intern when he's got nothing else to do. Watch ths drive, bitch!
Whip-sharp humor aside, I think this gets to the core of the argument about the election: are we going to go back to the Fantasy-land ignore reality foreign policy of the 1990s, or are we going to face the problems that exist and try to do something about it?
Sending out some TastyBits(TM) love
Llama Yips for Elizabeth over at Techie Vampire, a funny new blog with a sharp sense of humor mixed in with a smidge of invective and a dollop of acerbic commentary.
My only qualms are that she's put us in her blogroll in the "weekly reads" section.
Message to Elizabeth: we're a "check three times a day" blog at least! What the heck are those Llamas up to now---has Steve been playing with pshop while huffing glue again, or is Rob going all classical and literary? Who is going to win the "Stone Cold Jane Austen Smackdown!"? And is Pep dropping by in the comments section with the latest "what would MacArthur Do?" advice? I don't know---you'll have to check often to find out!!!
(Do you think she'll fall for it? I'm trying to be more subtle as of late, but I'm not sure if its working...)
Llama Yips for Elizabeth over at Techie Vampire, a funny new blog with a sharp sense of humor mixed in with a smidge of invective and a dollop of acerbic commentary.
My only qualms are that she's put us in her blogroll in the "weekly reads" section.
Message to Elizabeth: we're a "check three times a day" blog at least! What the heck are those Llamas up to now---has Steve been playing with pshop while huffing glue again, or is Rob going all classical and literary? Who is going to win the "Stone Cold Jane Austen Smackdown!"? And is Pep dropping by in the comments section with the latest "what would MacArthur Do?" advice? I don't know---you'll have to check often to find out!!!
(Do you think she'll fall for it? I'm trying to be more subtle as of late, but I'm not sure if its working...)
Gratuitous Llama Movie Posting
I happened to catch Unforgiven again last night and two things came to mind.
First, it's a general axiom that when British and American actors appear together, the Americans get outclassed. (Worst example I can think of off the top of my head was Branagh's Much Ado About Nothing. Granted, that was Shakespeare, where the difference is especially obvious.) Unforgiven contains a marked exception - Gene Hackman doesn't give an inch to Richard Harris in the conflict between Little Bill and English Bob.
Second, I love the bit where Clint and his pals pick off Davey Bunting (the slasher cowboy), leaving him lying on the ground and moaning, "They got me, Boys! Boys! They done shot me!" I laugh not only because I think the lines are overblown in a classic sort of way, but also because the guy who plays this character, Rob Campbell, was a classmate of mine in college.
That's us Llamas - just a couple degrees' separation from the Stars!
I happened to catch Unforgiven again last night and two things came to mind.
First, it's a general axiom that when British and American actors appear together, the Americans get outclassed. (Worst example I can think of off the top of my head was Branagh's Much Ado About Nothing. Granted, that was Shakespeare, where the difference is especially obvious.) Unforgiven contains a marked exception - Gene Hackman doesn't give an inch to Richard Harris in the conflict between Little Bill and English Bob.
Second, I love the bit where Clint and his pals pick off Davey Bunting (the slasher cowboy), leaving him lying on the ground and moaning, "They got me, Boys! Boys! They done shot me!" I laugh not only because I think the lines are overblown in a classic sort of way, but also because the guy who plays this character, Rob Campbell, was a classmate of mine in college.
That's us Llamas - just a couple degrees' separation from the Stars!
Thursday, July 01, 2004
It's Their Flag, Dammit
This is good news - I meant to say something about it while looking at the pictures of the hand-over yesterday. The Iraqi government has ditched the recently proposed blue-yellow-white abomination of a flag in favor of the old one. Good for them, sez I.
Along with virtually everyone else on the planet, I thought the new flag design was appalling. At best, it indicated Iraqi assimilation by the U.N. At worst, it looked as if Israel had rolled in and taken control. Hardly the sort of thing to reinstill a sense of national pride.
(A friend of mine who was just over doing some contract work for the CPA said he was under the impression that everyone immediately realized the mistake after the new flag was unveiled and decided just to let it die a quiet death. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to do nothing.)
This is good news - I meant to say something about it while looking at the pictures of the hand-over yesterday. The Iraqi government has ditched the recently proposed blue-yellow-white abomination of a flag in favor of the old one. Good for them, sez I.
Along with virtually everyone else on the planet, I thought the new flag design was appalling. At best, it indicated Iraqi assimilation by the U.N. At worst, it looked as if Israel had rolled in and taken control. Hardly the sort of thing to reinstill a sense of national pride.
(A friend of mine who was just over doing some contract work for the CPA said he was under the impression that everyone immediately realized the mistake after the new flag was unveiled and decided just to let it die a quiet death. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to do nothing.)
Guns And Liberals Don't Mix
John at Discriminations parses out the latest Kerry campaign commercial and has some interesting observations both on the pictures of Kerry allegedly hunting and on the way his campaign describes the scene.
Now for all I know, Kerry probably does do some hunting - one could easily assume so, given his immense wealth. But John's observations, both physical and metaphoric, remind me of one of my favorite axioms, which also works at both levels:
There is no one in the world more dangerous to himself and those around him than a Liberal with a gun.
Liberals instinctively fear and hate guns. As a result, they frequently feel no reason to actually learn anything about them: how to handle them, how to distinguish among the different types and so on. Given this state of prejudiced ignorance, when such a Liberal actually has occasion to come in contact with a gun, trouble often ensues.
Allow me to illustrate.
We had a professor in my law school known behind her back as Punch'n Judy. She was a very typical Volvo-driving Save the Whales type, always on the enlightened Side of every social and political issue. One day in a professional responsibility course, we discussed the scenario in which the client bursts into his lawyer's office and announces, "I just murdered my wife. You gotta help me."
For whatever reason, Punch'n Judy got it into her head that it would be a great idea to use a gun as a prop for this lecture. So she whipped out an old pistol of some sort. (It was either real or an extremely good fake - I don't recall which. Certainly convincing at the time. God knows where she got it.) You have to picture the classroom - an amphitheater setting with rows of long curved desks rising up from the well. I was sitting about four or five rows back and my stomach was about in line with the professor's shoulder. The other thing you have to know is that Punch'n Judy was a hand-talker, given to enthusiastic gesticulation as she spoke.
So just imagine how we all felt when she started waiving that damn gat around. The woman had absolutely no clue whatsoever - I believe every one of us looked down the barrel of the thing at one point or another. To her, holding the gun was no different than holding a pencil, a banana or a rubber chicken. I could see other students getting momently more nervous, squirming and starting to slide down in their chairs. Finally, our Llama Military Correspondent, who was there and who has forgotten far more about weapons protocol than I will ever know, felt compelled to step in and convince ol' Judy to put. The gun. Down.
Now I've been around guns and gun carriers all my life, hunting out in the field, shooting skeet and practicing on the rifle range. But that was the very first time I was genuinely frightened by somebody else's firearm incompetence. I am now similarly frightened at the prospect of these kind of people having their metaphoric fingers on the trigger in our ongoing war against the bad guys.
HT to Reynolds, who I can't seem to link at the moment.
YIPS from Steve: Oliver Willis links to us as one of four "spreaders of the lie" on this story, citing the facts from a story in the New York Times, where, like, the reporter was even there! Really! Or, maybe, like, he was in Brooklyn and read about it in some other source, but hey, the Times doesn't ever lie!
It's actually kind of nice---he lumps us together with Pejman and of course Glenn Reynolds (who I hadn't realized but the spiteful left refers to as "Instahack" or "IHack for short--hopefully not "I, Shaq" with Shaq Daddy taking over the role pioneered by Derek Jacoby).
What I will say is this: neener! No, seriously, go and read the post above: Rob presents a story qualified by the word "allegedly" (darling word of the Left--you know, the "alleged" threat to America posed by AQ), and then says "Now for all I know, Kerry probably does do some hunting - one could easily assume so, given his immense wealth." Interestingly enough, the NYT article Willis links to and his commentors point to Kerry standing in the "English" style. Whatever. By the guts of the post went in an entirely different direction.
I used to like reading Oliver's site, but he's gone off the deep end the last couple of months. His motto is "like Kryptonite to stupid"---perhaps it should change to "Like Crisco to Michael Moore---quick to go done, easy to disappear, plays havoc on your bowels."
Yips Back from Robbo - Gee, I'm kinda flattered that we get lumped into such august company. The punch line is that owing to my firm's Internet filtering software, I can't even get at Willis' site to see what all the fuss is about!
John at Discriminations parses out the latest Kerry campaign commercial and has some interesting observations both on the pictures of Kerry allegedly hunting and on the way his campaign describes the scene.
Now for all I know, Kerry probably does do some hunting - one could easily assume so, given his immense wealth. But John's observations, both physical and metaphoric, remind me of one of my favorite axioms, which also works at both levels:
There is no one in the world more dangerous to himself and those around him than a Liberal with a gun.
Liberals instinctively fear and hate guns. As a result, they frequently feel no reason to actually learn anything about them: how to handle them, how to distinguish among the different types and so on. Given this state of prejudiced ignorance, when such a Liberal actually has occasion to come in contact with a gun, trouble often ensues.
Allow me to illustrate.
We had a professor in my law school known behind her back as Punch'n Judy. She was a very typical Volvo-driving Save the Whales type, always on the enlightened Side of every social and political issue. One day in a professional responsibility course, we discussed the scenario in which the client bursts into his lawyer's office and announces, "I just murdered my wife. You gotta help me."
For whatever reason, Punch'n Judy got it into her head that it would be a great idea to use a gun as a prop for this lecture. So she whipped out an old pistol of some sort. (It was either real or an extremely good fake - I don't recall which. Certainly convincing at the time. God knows where she got it.) You have to picture the classroom - an amphitheater setting with rows of long curved desks rising up from the well. I was sitting about four or five rows back and my stomach was about in line with the professor's shoulder. The other thing you have to know is that Punch'n Judy was a hand-talker, given to enthusiastic gesticulation as she spoke.
So just imagine how we all felt when she started waiving that damn gat around. The woman had absolutely no clue whatsoever - I believe every one of us looked down the barrel of the thing at one point or another. To her, holding the gun was no different than holding a pencil, a banana or a rubber chicken. I could see other students getting momently more nervous, squirming and starting to slide down in their chairs. Finally, our Llama Military Correspondent, who was there and who has forgotten far more about weapons protocol than I will ever know, felt compelled to step in and convince ol' Judy to put. The gun. Down.
Now I've been around guns and gun carriers all my life, hunting out in the field, shooting skeet and practicing on the rifle range. But that was the very first time I was genuinely frightened by somebody else's firearm incompetence. I am now similarly frightened at the prospect of these kind of people having their metaphoric fingers on the trigger in our ongoing war against the bad guys.
HT to Reynolds, who I can't seem to link at the moment.
YIPS from Steve: Oliver Willis links to us as one of four "spreaders of the lie" on this story, citing the facts from a story in the New York Times, where, like, the reporter was even there! Really! Or, maybe, like, he was in Brooklyn and read about it in some other source, but hey, the Times doesn't ever lie!
It's actually kind of nice---he lumps us together with Pejman and of course Glenn Reynolds (who I hadn't realized but the spiteful left refers to as "Instahack" or "IHack for short--hopefully not "I, Shaq" with Shaq Daddy taking over the role pioneered by Derek Jacoby).
What I will say is this: neener! No, seriously, go and read the post above: Rob presents a story qualified by the word "allegedly" (darling word of the Left--you know, the "alleged" threat to America posed by AQ), and then says "Now for all I know, Kerry probably does do some hunting - one could easily assume so, given his immense wealth." Interestingly enough, the NYT article Willis links to and his commentors point to Kerry standing in the "English" style. Whatever. By the guts of the post went in an entirely different direction.
I used to like reading Oliver's site, but he's gone off the deep end the last couple of months. His motto is "like Kryptonite to stupid"---perhaps it should change to "Like Crisco to Michael Moore---quick to go done, easy to disappear, plays havoc on your bowels."
Yips Back from Robbo - Gee, I'm kinda flattered that we get lumped into such august company. The punch line is that owing to my firm's Internet filtering software, I can't even get at Willis' site to see what all the fuss is about!
ARE YOU READY TO RUUUUUUUUUBLLLLLEEEE!!!!!
Yes, it's ROUND TWO of the Stone-Cold Jane Austen Cage Match, featuring Pride & Prejudice's Elizabeth Bennet - with Kathleen the Cake Eater in her corner, against Emma Woodhouse, champeened by Yours Truly!
(Go here to see Round One of this epic event.)
As last time, the rules are the same: Rule One is 500 words max. Rule Two is that there are no other rules. Are you ready? Let's get it on!
Here is Kathleen's Second Round Essay:
And here is my Second Rounder:
Let the mayhem begin! Remember folks, Round Three Final Replies will be posted Tuesday!
Yes, it's ROUND TWO of the Stone-Cold Jane Austen Cage Match, featuring Pride & Prejudice's Elizabeth Bennet - with Kathleen the Cake Eater in her corner, against Emma Woodhouse, champeened by Yours Truly!
(Go here to see Round One of this epic event.)
As last time, the rules are the same: Rule One is 500 words max. Rule Two is that there are no other rules. Are you ready? Let's get it on!
Here is Kathleen's Second Round Essay:
If, as Robert claims, “there is a certain ‘pitchfork and torches’ character to most criticism of Emma,” it’s only because one wants to use a pitchfork to judiciously poke the esteemed Miss Woodhouse. This urge also lingers long after the book is finished. Which, I’m afraid, knowing what we know about Austen’s novels, makes one wonder why, exactly, is there a lingering resentment? Shouldn’t we believe that Emma has reformed herself? We should be satisfied that all is right in Highbury, shouldn’t we? Unfortunately, I find this is not the case and the answer lies in the character of the novel’s namesake.
We are assured of Emma’s goodness, yet she is vain, and her goodness is, at times, given with an eye partially turned toward how well goodness would further her schemes. She may take Harriet Smith under her wing, a kind act to be sure, but it is only to further her wishes for Mr. Elton. Emma is intelligent but she is lacking in the area most needed to complement intelligence: common sense. Enter Mr. Knightley, possessed with an overabundance, and we have found the perfect foil for Miss Woodhouse: someone to correct her when she strays. We feel her shame after the Box Hill incident, but we are told before she says those shameful words that “she could not help herself,” implying she knew it was wrong, but! uttered them anyway. Ultimately, the incident that leaves me the most dissatisfied is Emma’s relief at Harriet’s engagement. She is as happy for herself as she is for Harriet, having seemingly been let off the hook for inadvertently encouraging Harriet’s feelings toward Knightley. Now that Harriet is settled, she is free to be happy for her own engagement without any lingering traces of guilt. Had Knightley known about said encouragement, what would he have said to Emma then?
If Elizabeth Bennet is “pre-packaged” and her conflict comes from without, then what are we to think about the conflict in Emma? That rich girls have lessons to learn too? Who pays the most for the errors of Emma’s ways? Not Emma. While Elizabeth has her flaws, she has at least formed her character to an extent that she may rely upon her sense to know when she has gone wrong. I do not believe one can say the same of Emma, who would be lost in a world of vanity were it not for Mr. Knightley.
Elizabeth’s faults, in presupposing Mr. Darcy’s guilt in Wickham’s situation, lie in relying too strongly upon the products of her own sense and intellect; Emma’s faults lie in not having enough sense to know better. One gets the impression that Mr. Knightley will forever be correcting his wife; if Emma has truly learned the errors of her ways, why should this be the case? Pride and Prejudice is a satisfying novel because of the character of its protagonists, who will take the lessons they have learned to heart. Can we say the same of Emma?
And here is my Second Rounder:
It is ironic that Kathy chose to emphasize the strengths of Elizabeth Bennet’s character and the challenges she chose to face as the basis for her argument that Elizabeth is a more enjoyable person to read about than Emma Woodhouse. I believe that it this simple “plucky underdog” theme that makes both Elizabeth herself and Pride & Prejudice that much less satisfying.
I noted that Elizabeth’s many virtues come “pre-packaged.” She is undoubtedly strong and sensible, unquestionably courageous and possessed of great moral character, intellect and wit. But this is so from the very outset. There is little growth in her character because she faces little internal challenge. Elizabeth is Austen’s surrogate. And while Austen uses Elizabeth as a vehicle for commenting on the personal and social struggles of the world around her, doing so with great style, wit and grace, they remain external struggles. As a result, of course we admire Elizabeth. We cheer for her. But denied a more intimate emotional connection via internal crisis and resolution, we don’t love her in the same way as we do Emma. Elizabeth is simply a flatter character.
I’ve said nothing about Elizabeth’s faults because they are not that critical to the enjoyment of her character, even though they serve as a mechanism to develop the central crises of the plot. While Elizabeth’s impulsiveness and judgementalism cause her to misjudge Wickham and prejudice her against Darcy, again, we never dig into her psyche far enough to gain the same emotional satisfaction at seeing her come face to face with them as we do with Emma’s self-blinding vanity. Elizabeth must admit to her mistakes and overcome the damage caused by them, but she need not face the issue of whether her faults are fundamental – she need never face the awful question of whether she is a good person. Such deep introspection simply is not required to resolve the plot.
Of course, Pride & Prejudice is not that kind of story. As I said, Elizabeth’s struggle is not with herself, but with the world around her. But again, this is why I like this book, and Elizabeth herself, less than Emma. The unquestionably good heroine, a rebel within her own home, uses her wit, wisdom and strength to protect her weak and clueless friends and family, foil the villainous plots of The Establishment, and cause the God-like rich and handsome hero to pay for his early haughtiness, go through a period of penitent anguish and, in the end, worship her on her own terms. Not to be unkind about it, but these are the fantasies of the young – self-centered, simple and idealistic. Austen spent many years working on Pride & Prejudice before it was finally published. I believe the characters and plot never quite escaped their youthful origins. By contrast, Emma, written at the height of Austen’s powers, is a more mature work, a character study of great internal complexity and ultimate emotional depth yielding a heroine much more satisfying to the reader.
Let the mayhem begin! Remember folks, Round Three Final Replies will be posted Tuesday!
STONE-COLD JANE AUSTEN GRUDGE MATCH - ROUND II
Stand by, everyone - The Ladies are getting ready to rumble again. Posts up soon. BE THERE!
Stand by, everyone - The Ladies are getting ready to rumble again. Posts up soon. BE THERE!
The Cockpit? What Is It?
Jesus, Mary and Joseph. If you've got the tech capacity and the stomach for it, go look at this footage of a China Airlines jet hurling itself at the ground and just managing to hit it the right way.
My palms are sweating just from typing this post.
Courtesy of The Limey Brit.
UPDATE: Check out this compilation of hysterical airline humor, brought to you by Pete Belvin. (Thanks for the link today, Pete. We can never love you because you post kitty pictures on your site and this is a cat blogging-free zone, but we appreciate the thought!)
Jesus, Mary and Joseph. If you've got the tech capacity and the stomach for it, go look at this footage of a China Airlines jet hurling itself at the ground and just managing to hit it the right way.
My palms are sweating just from typing this post.
Courtesy of The Limey Brit.
UPDATE: Check out this compilation of hysterical airline humor, brought to you by Pete Belvin. (Thanks for the link today, Pete. We can never love you because you post kitty pictures on your site and this is a cat blogging-free zone, but we appreciate the thought!)
Pundit Syzygy
It isn't often that the divine Peggy Noonan and the oily Dick Morris come into alignment on a given political question, but it seems to have happened now. Both, in their own way, are of the opinion that Bush is a War President and Kerry would be a Peace President and the great question for this fall will be the path the people want the United States to take.
For what it's worth, here are a few of my thoughts about this:
- I don't yet get the sense that the country is ready to slip back into the false peace of the 90's. People understandably don't like the fact that we're at war and there is a good bit of quibbling about how we ought to go about prosecuting it, but at least so far only the Base Left and a few isolationist wingnuts on the far Right are suggesting either that we never should have got involved to begin with or that we should cut and run now. (The problem with those opinion polls that show high disapproval of Bush's handing of Iraq is that they don't distinguish between people who think we're doing too much and people who think we're not doing enough.) I think people have grown up more since 9/11 than they're given credit for and realize that we're in this fight for the long-haul.
- On the domestic front, I don't believe Kerry holds the kind of hammerlock assumed by Peggy and Morris. It's true that there is a big lag time between economic perception and reality, but that can be made up very quickly when the economic gains are impressive enough. If current trends continue, I think we'll see a big swing in public attitude towards Bush's handling of the economy heading into the fall. If the economy is humming, Kerry has nothing to fall back on but healthcare and, despite the effort to push this issue to the forefront, I don't think it's going to trump jobs and the war.
- The fact remains that the individual candidate's personalities count tremendously. Love him or hate him, people know all about Bush. And those who love him really love him. On the other hand, Kerry is still an enigma. In fact, Mickey Kaus is reporting that people seem to know less about Kerry as the campaign goes on. Kerry's stealth candidacy is fine for the moment - sit back and let everyone hammer on Dubya - but come this fall, he has to step forward and argue why he, Kerry, should be president. The times he has done so earlier this year have very often backfired on him. The man is not likeable. He's cold, haughty and aloof. His platform is, shall we say, vague. He's got a Senate record that demonstrates a complete lack of leadership skills. The vast majority of his support right now is from the "anybody but Bush" crowd - call them yellow-dog Kerryites. That isn't enough to win an election.
Everybody is saying this election is going to be a repeat of 2000. I dunno. That may be right, but I can't help thinking that as we roll into the serious campaign season, it might start looking more and more like '96. But as Steve-O likes to say, hey that's me - Mr. Vegas.
It isn't often that the divine Peggy Noonan and the oily Dick Morris come into alignment on a given political question, but it seems to have happened now. Both, in their own way, are of the opinion that Bush is a War President and Kerry would be a Peace President and the great question for this fall will be the path the people want the United States to take.
For what it's worth, here are a few of my thoughts about this:
- I don't yet get the sense that the country is ready to slip back into the false peace of the 90's. People understandably don't like the fact that we're at war and there is a good bit of quibbling about how we ought to go about prosecuting it, but at least so far only the Base Left and a few isolationist wingnuts on the far Right are suggesting either that we never should have got involved to begin with or that we should cut and run now. (The problem with those opinion polls that show high disapproval of Bush's handing of Iraq is that they don't distinguish between people who think we're doing too much and people who think we're not doing enough.) I think people have grown up more since 9/11 than they're given credit for and realize that we're in this fight for the long-haul.
- On the domestic front, I don't believe Kerry holds the kind of hammerlock assumed by Peggy and Morris. It's true that there is a big lag time between economic perception and reality, but that can be made up very quickly when the economic gains are impressive enough. If current trends continue, I think we'll see a big swing in public attitude towards Bush's handling of the economy heading into the fall. If the economy is humming, Kerry has nothing to fall back on but healthcare and, despite the effort to push this issue to the forefront, I don't think it's going to trump jobs and the war.
- The fact remains that the individual candidate's personalities count tremendously. Love him or hate him, people know all about Bush. And those who love him really love him. On the other hand, Kerry is still an enigma. In fact, Mickey Kaus is reporting that people seem to know less about Kerry as the campaign goes on. Kerry's stealth candidacy is fine for the moment - sit back and let everyone hammer on Dubya - but come this fall, he has to step forward and argue why he, Kerry, should be president. The times he has done so earlier this year have very often backfired on him. The man is not likeable. He's cold, haughty and aloof. His platform is, shall we say, vague. He's got a Senate record that demonstrates a complete lack of leadership skills. The vast majority of his support right now is from the "anybody but Bush" crowd - call them yellow-dog Kerryites. That isn't enough to win an election.
Everybody is saying this election is going to be a repeat of 2000. I dunno. That may be right, but I can't help thinking that as we roll into the serious campaign season, it might start looking more and more like '96. But as Steve-O likes to say, hey that's me - Mr. Vegas.
Whyayayayay Can't You Uuuuuse It?
Arrgh! Jeff Goldstein has just done tattooed a particular song on my brain where it's going to remain stuck all freakin' day! Please make it go away, Dave!
Arrgh! Jeff Goldstein has just done tattooed a particular song on my brain where it's going to remain stuck all freakin' day! Please make it go away, Dave!
The dreaded "YIPS of TORMENT" from Steve:
In a bastardization of our recurring feature "80s Punk song lyrics explain current events," here's our interpretation of Hillary Clinton's response to John Kerry's overture about making Hill the Veep:
You've gone too far this time but I'm dancing on the valentine
I tell you somebody's fooling around with my chances on the dangerline
I'll cross that bridge when I find it another day to make my stand oh-woah
High time is no time for deciding if I should find a helping hand oh-whoa
Why don't you use it try not to bruise it buy time don't lose it
Why don't you use it try not to bruise it buy time don't lose it
The reflex is a lonely child just waiting by the park
The reflex is in charge of finding a treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover isn't that bizarre
Every little thing the reflex does leaves you answered with a question mark
I'm on a ride and I wanna get off but they won't slow down the roundabout
I sold the Renoir and the TV set don't wanna be around when this gets out
So why don't you use it try not to bruise it buy time don't lose it
Why don't you use it try not to bruise it buy time don't lose it
The reflex is a lonely child he's waiting in the park
The refelx is in charge of finding a treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover isn't that bizarre
Every little thing the reflex does leaves you answered with a question mark
So why don't you use it try not to bruise it buy time don't lose it
Why don't you use it try not to bruise it buy time don't lose it
The reflex is a lonely child just waiting by the park
The reflex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover isn't that bizarre
Every little thing the reflex does leaves me answered with a question mark
Oh the reflex what a game he's hiding all the cards
The reflex is in charge of finding a treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover isn't that bizarre
Everylittle thing the reflex does leaves you answered with a question mark
Gratuitous Domestic Blogging (TM)
Hooray! The Butcher's Wife and the Llama-ettes return to the fold this afternoon. I got a report of the following exchange this morning:
Four Year Old: Hey! Can we go to Virginia Beach next?
Six Year Old: No! I don't want to go on another trip without Daddy!
All together now: Aaaaaaawwwwwww.......
Hooray! The Butcher's Wife and the Llama-ettes return to the fold this afternoon. I got a report of the following exchange this morning:
Four Year Old: Hey! Can we go to Virginia Beach next?
Six Year Old: No! I don't want to go on another trip without Daddy!
All together now: Aaaaaaawwwwwww.......
